It Is Too Hard

Do you ever feel like giving up because dieting is too hard? I think we have all felt that way, not just about dieting, but about a lot of things. This short tapping may be just what you need to renew your motivation for self care.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though it feels like dieting is just to hard, I am open to considering baby steps that could make a difference for me. Even though it feels like dieting is just too hard, I choose to remember that I don’t have to do it all at once. Even though is feels like dieting is just too hard, I love and accept myself anyway.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…Dieting is just too hard

Side of Eye…I don’t want to do anything that is so hard

Under the Eye…It is just too hard

Under the Nose…It seems overwhelming to me

Chin…It is so hard that I don’t think I can even face it

Collarbone…Dieting is just too hard

Under the Arm…It is too hard

Top of Head…Dieting is way too hard

Eyebrow…Dieting is so very hard

Side of Eye…But I am open to some baby steps towards my goals

Under the Eye…Dieting seems way too hard

Under the Nose…But I don’t have to do it all at once

Chin…Dieting is just too hard

Collarbone…I choose to love and accept myself anyway

Under the Arm…I am open to the possibility that it could be easier than I think

Top of Head…I choose to look for the possibility of success

Need more tapping inspiration about dieting, weight loss, and exercise? Check out Don’t Diet: Reprogram your Weight With Meridian Tapping.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping


The Best Defense is a Good Offense

This probably sounds more like advice for a sporting endeavor rather than parenting advice, although I could make a good case that parenting is a sporting event. What I am really speaking about here is the need to set things up as much as possible so that kids are able to do what we want them to rather than waiting until they mess up so we can punish them.

For example, if Mark always runs away from his mom when she takes him with her to the grocery store, why does she take him with her? When I ask mom that, she is likely to tell me that she doesn’t have any other choice or that he begged to come with her and promised he wouldn’t do it this time. While sometimes there really is no other choice, most of the time we can come up with other options such as paying a babysitter, trading off babysitting with a friend or family member, or asking someone else to pick up what you need from the store. Believing Mark’s promise is a setup for failure.

Consider Bethany who generally irritates and annoys her playmates in the first 30 minutes when they get together because of her bossiness and tantrums. Her mom and dad know this, but continue to schedule play dates for her and allow her to play for extended periods of time with only intermittent supervision until the real fighting and yelling starts between Bethany and her friends.

In both of these cases, the parents need to take a more active role in supervision and decision-making. The case of Bethany may be a bit easier. Bethany’s parents need to schedule shorter playtimes until Bethany can demonstrate that she can handle extended visits from her friends. Bethany’s parents also need to remain present to actively supervise Bethany’s play and teach her better ways to interact with her peers. Think of the teaching, interacting, limit-setting, and supervision as the offensive plan for more prosocial behavior in Bethany’s future. Of course the goal is to gradually decrease the amount of parental intervention, but only when she is ready to handle it.

For Mark, mom may need to set up situations in which she takes him with her, but has planned for a clear exit at the first sign of his misbehavior. Expectations are reviewed prior to going into the store. If he breaks a rule, mom takes him out of the store immediately and he experiences consequences as soon as possible. He is not allowed to try again for at least the next 5 visits mom makes to the store. A visual chart to show him how long he must wait because of his behavior might be helpful. Alternatively, someone else could be designated to remove Mark from the store and take him home to wait for mom while she continues shopping. Again, Mark experiences consequences immediately for his behavior and is not allowed to try again for a specified time.

In both of these cases, there is significant pre-planning and energy on the parents’ part. You may also see these as punishments, and in some sense you would be right. For Mark, there are definite consequences for misbehavior, but he is not allowed to continue bad behavior once it begins. Further, there is a predetermined plan for dealing with the anticipated behavior rather than a blind hope that it won’t occur again this time. For Bethany, there is an emphasis on more structure and limits that acknowledges her current level of function and does not allow her the opportunity to exceed her ability to cope.

With a good offense, you could expect significantly more parental satisfaction and reduced stress. Does this sound overwhelming? Learn meridian tapping to reduce your distress.

Wanting More Attention

This tapping seemed appropriate since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. It is a day that highlights both the good and the not so good about being in a relationhip. Although we seem to want intimate relationships, they can be quite stressful. This is an area where people tend to judge whether their feelings are justified PRIOR to deciding to tap. I urge you to begin tapping without judgement.

Say this statement aloud “My husband (boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, significant other, etc) never pays enough attention to me.” Rate the intensity on the 0-10 point scale and record your rating.

illustration for karate chop point

Tap on your karate chop point and repeat these setup statements. “Even though my husband doesn’t pay attention to me the way I want him to, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though my husband has been a selfish jerk lately and hasn’t paid much attention to me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I want more attention from my hsuband and I don’t know how to get it from him, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Side of Eye…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Under the Eye…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Under the Nose…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Chin…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Collarbone…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Under the Arm…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Top of Head…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. Continue with the following reminder phrases at each of the tapping spots

Eyebrow…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Side of Eye…And I need his attention

Under the Eye…It feels like he doesn’t care about me at all

Under the Nose…I do all kinds of things for him

Chin…But he doesn’t do anything for me

Collarbone…I know that is not really true

Under the Arm…He does things for me

Top of Head…Just not the things I want him to do right now

Eyebrow…I’m not getting what I want from him

Side of Eye…And, rather than tell him what I want

Under the Eye…I want him to guess

Under the Nose…That’s not working so well for me

Chin…I want his attention and I’m afraid to just ask for it

Collarbone…I wonder what it is that I really want or need right now?

Under the Arm…Asking for what I want or need is the best thing I could do

Top of Head…I feel relieved to realize that my husband does pay attention to me and I choose to feel empowered to ask to have my needs met.

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Check the intesnity of your original problem statement, “My husband never pays enough attention to me.” Notice any changes and make notes for future tapping. This is a complex topic and likely to need some additional tapping to resolve all of the aspects. This tapping is an adaptation of one found in Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT.

If I Exercise Now…

What kinds of excuses do you use to skip out on exercise? I’ve heard (and used) many creative excuses. One of my favorites is “If I exercise now I will be too tired later.” This tapping script is to help eliminate this excuse and get you (and me) back on track.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though I am avoiding exercise right now, I love and accept myself anyway. Even though I am worried that I will be too tired later if I exercise now, I acknowledge that I am a work in progress. Even though I am worried that I will be too tired to do the rest of the things I have planned for my day if I exercise now, I know that I can change this negative way of thinking.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…If I exercise now I wil be too tired later

Side of Eye…I am already tired

Under the Eye…How can I do the things I need to do if I exercise now?

Under the Nose…I know I am just making excuses

Chin…But they seem to have worked for me before

Collarbone…At least they have worked to keep me from exercising

Under the Arm…This excuse hasn’t helped me to get any healthier

Top of Head…I know that it isn’t even true

Eyebrow…When I do exercise I am tired for a little while

Side of Eye…And then I have even more energy

Under the Eye…When I exercise regularly

Under the Nose…My energy level stays up

Chin…This is just a negative message my brain has made up

Collarbone…To keep me right where I am

Under the Arm…It isn’t a good message

Top of Head…It isn’t even a true message

Eyebrow…This is a message I could ignore

Side of Eye…Sometimes my brain tells me things that aren’t true

Under the Eye…Things like “I’m hungry” right after I’ve eaten

Under the Nose…Or things like “If you eat sugar you’ll feel better”

Chin…Sometimes these messages are really hard to ignore

Collarbone…It is exciting when I can tell the difference

Under the Arm…I am learning to be better about making decisions based on my goals

Top of Head…I may not be excited about exercising right now, but I don’t have to worry about being too tired later

Do you feel like exercising? Go work out while your motivation is high. Did a new excuse crop up? Keep tapping on each excuse and hopefully gain clarity about your real reasons for avoiding exercise.

This tapping and others like it can be found in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping. I’d love to hear your feedback.

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping


Needing Wise Counsel

The ostrich is a totem for wisdom. How do you react to others who have more experience than you do? Do you invite and welcome their wisdom into your life or do you insist on figuring everything out yourself? Do you rely to much on others rather than trusting in your own wisdom? This short tapping exercise may help you become more aware of your issues in this area.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Having others aroun dis important to me. Being able to learn from their experience and draw upon their wisdom when I am faced with new challenges or overwhelming situations is really beneficial. Also, there really is safety in numbers. I’m feeling pretty isolated right now, but I love and accept myself anyway. I want the safety of my herd. I love and accept myself. I crave the wise counsel of others. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I feel like an ostrich

Side of Eye…Seeking safety in numbers

Under the Eye…And attempting to protect myself

Under the Nose…By hanging out with the crowd

Chin…Watching how others handle things

Collarbone…Is how I learn

Under the Arm…I need to be careful about who I watch

Top of Head…I can learn what works

Eyebrow…And I can learn what doesn’t

Side of Eye…I just have to be smart enough

Under the Eye…To know the difference

Under the Nose…I feel like an ostrich

Chin…That can be good or not so good

Collarbone…I like having a group around me

Under the Arm…It keeps me safe

Top of Head…It helps me grow

As I noted before, this was a short tapping just to get your own thoughts and feelings moving. Write down any thoughts or feelings that you noticed while tapping. Are there specific situations in which you sought out the safety of the crowd that didn’t go as well as you wanted? Tap about those. Were there situations in which you chose to follow the example that was a what not to do instead of a what to do? Those would be good to tap about as well.

Not Feeling Respected Because of Politics

Believe it or not, this is a very old tapping exercise, but it seems appropriate for today’s social climate. It was included in a chapter about current stressors in my first book Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom with EFT. This tapping is about the intense emotions people experience when talking about politics.

Some people may actually be afraid to do this tapping because they equate the decrease in intense emotions with lack of conviction. Tapping on the intense emotions will not take away your conviction but it will allow for better control and more ease around others that may believe differently than you do.

The story begins with Joe, a normally reasonable and mild-mannered man who was having difficulty at family gatherings because his political views were radically different from those of other family members. Joe and his wife actually dreaded holidays such as Thanksgiving where there was extended contact that allowed ample time for such discussions. Joe really wanted to be able to control his emotions better when family members disagreed with him, failed to listen to his views, or even provoked him to just get a reaction. Tapping was a perfrect tool for the situation.

Is this scenario something you can relate to? Let’s tap.

Say this problem statement aloud, “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Rate the intensity (or truth) of this statement on a 0-10 scale (10 is very true). Write down your number.

illustration for karate chop point

Say these setup statements while tapping on the karate chop point: Even though I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I get really angry when other people don’t agree with my political views, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though it feels like other people aren’t respecting my political views when they disagree with me, and I don’t handle it very well, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and all of my feels on this subject.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views

Side of Eye…I get pretty upset when others disagree with my politics

Under the Eye…It is dangerous to discuss politics with anyone that doesn’t agree with my view

Under the Nose…Because I can’t handle it

Chin…I’m so sure that my political views are right

Collarbone…That I can’t handle it when anyone has a different opinion

Under the Arm…I can’t handle it when anyone can’t see the value of my political views

Top of Head…I can’t handle any challenge to my political views without getting very upset

Take a deep breath and let it out. Check the intensity of your original problem statement “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Record your new rating. Continue tapping with these statements until your intensity rating is low. Once your rating is below a 3 or 4, feel free to move on to the positive affirmation reminder phrases below.

Eyebrow…Even though I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views right now

Side of Eye…I am trying to maintain an open mind

Under the Eye…Even though I haven’t been able to handle it as well as I would like in the past

Under the Nose…I am open to feeling more comfortable with challenges to my views in the future

Chin…Even though I’m pretty convinced that I am right

Collarbone…I am trying to be okay with others’ opinions

Under the Arm…Even when I feel they are wrong

Top of Head…I love and respect my own views and calmly allow allows to have their views.

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. Check the intensity of your original problem statement “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Write down your new rating.

If politics is one of your stressors, be sure to notice what additional thoughts and feelings come up and write them down for future tapping. It may be important for you to tap on those additional issues.

Would you like more examples of tapping about every day stressors? Check out Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT.


I’m Afraid I Will Lose Control

Unfortunately I am no stranger to feeling out of control with food. It is a huge issue that I have not completely eliminated. Fortunately the fear of of losing control is something that rarely sneaks up on me, so when I first notice it I can usually find relief in tapping. What follows is a short tapping that you can use when you start to worry about losing control.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though I am afraid I will lose control if confronted with any of my favorite foods, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I am afraid that I will lose control and eat too much or eat foods that are not healthy for me, I choose to focus on loving myself and my healthy body instead. Even though I am afraid that I will lose control and eat like a pig, I choose to feel calm and confident, even twhen those comfort foods are readily available.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I am afraid I will lose control

Side of Eye…I am afraid I will eat like a pig

Under the Eye…I am afraid my food plan will go right out the window

Under the Nose…I can’t control myself around those foods

Chin…I am afraid I will lose control

Collarbone…I am afraid I will eat too much

Under the Arm…I am afraid I will eat unhealthy foods

Top of Head…I am afraid I will lose control

Continue with these or similar phrases until you feel relief

Did you benefit from this tapping? I’d love to hear about your success.

Want more tapping scripts? Check out Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping.

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

I Will Feel Deprived

Who likes the feeling of deprivation?  I certainly don’t.  Dread related to feeling deprived can stop people from making positive changes in their diet, particularly if they currently partake in something known to be less than healthy or even dangerous.  Today’s tapping is short, but is a starting place for addressing the fear of deprivation.

Say this statement aloud, “I will feel deprived if I cannot eat my favorite foods.”  How true does that feel to you?  Rate it on the 0-10 scale (10=is very strong or very true.)

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though I am afraid of how I will feel if I don’t eat my favorite foods. I choose to love and accept myself anyway. Even though I am sure I will feel deprived without my favorite foods, I am hopeful that I can find other sources of pleasure in my life.  Even though the fear of deprivation is very strong for me, I am beginning to consider small diet changes that will help me to be healthy and happy.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I feel deprived

Side of Eye…I want to eat my favorite foods

Under the Eye…I don’t want to feel deprived

Under the Nose…I need to eat or I will feel deprived

Chin…I will do anything to avoid that feeling

Collarbone…This deprivation

Under the Arm…Fear of deprivation

Top of Head…This strong feeling of deprivation

Say the original statement again, “I will feel deprived if I cannot eat my favorite foods?”  How true does that feel to you now?  Did specific foods pop in your mind?  Continue tapping about how it would feel to not eat those foods or to eat them less often.  Did your mind drift to specific thoughts, feelings, or sensations related to deprivation?  Continue tapping about how much you want to avoid those thoughts, feelings, and sensations. 

Remember you can find these and other tapping exercises to assist in your health and wellness in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

Questions or suggestions?  I’d love to hear from you.

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

Ants

Did you know that there are more than 10,000 ant species? I didn’t.  I knew that there were red ones, brown ones, black ones, ants that bite, and ants that don’t.  Ants are social insects and usually live in communities that have a queen ant.  The worker ants are female.  They have no wings, don’t reproduce, but have many duties within the colony such as foraging for food, caring for the queen’s baby ants, and protecting the community.  Male ants have only one job – making baby ants with the queen.  After they are done with that task they usually die.

Not very long ago I had an interesting infestation of ants in my kitchen.  Actually it really wasn’t an infestation with swarms of ants everywhere; it was more of a semi-constant trickle.  I did some cleaning and they seemed to be gone.  That lasted about 3 hours then I saw another one walking across the kitchen floor.  A few hours later I saw one walking across a kitchen counter.

I don’t harbor an intense dislike of ants and I don’t usually go out of my way to kill them if they are outside, but I don’t want them on my kitchen counters or in my drawers, and I don’t want to squish them under my bare feet when walking in the kitchen.  Since they broke our “agreement” to stay outside I decided to spray the baseboards to try to stop them from coming in.  That lasted for about 8 hours, then more ants.

While this ant battle was going on I was also having some struggles at work.  I felt that I was being treated as insignificant, not being allowed to exercise my own judgment and creativity, and just felt that I was generally not appreciated. ON the inside I was rebelling about all of this as was trying to assert my individualism within a culture that clearly doesn’t value that.

The ants kept coming and I continued to feel dissatisfied. One morning while doing my lap swim I had the thought, “what if the ants are acting as one of my totems?” I started thinking about the ant characteristics that I’ve been writing about and became even more sure of it.  I phoned a friend and shared my insight, thinking that it was hilarious that I had overlooked this possibility and quipped, “wouldn’t it be hysterical if the ants were gone when I get home?” After all, I had finally received the message about being industrious, fitting in, stamina, and perseverance.

When I got home the ants were indeed gone.  I’m sure that I have more work to do pertaining to managing employment while nurturing my own dreams. I am glad the ants were persistent and that I finally caught on.  It does make me wonder how many other times there have been animal totems willing to point me in the right direction, but I somehow missed out on getting the message.

Tapping Meditation

To get started, lets do a tapping meditation to get in touch with some of the characteristics associated with ants and to get ready for whatever messages ants might have for you.

diagram of the tapping points
Eyebrow Ant
Side of Eye Social
Under the Eye Ant
Under the Nose Colony
Chin Ant
Collarbone Solves complex problems
Under the Arm Ant
Top of Head Interactive
Eyebrow Ant
Side of Eye Industrious
Under the Eye Ant
Under the Nose Cooperative effort
Chin Ant
Collarbone Hard work
Under the Arm Ant
Top of Head Group-minded
Eyebrow Ant
Side of Eye Perseverance
Under the Eye Ant
Under the Nose Self discipline
Chin Ant
Collarbone Teamwork
Under the Arm Ant
Top of Head Orderly
Eyebrow Ant
Side of Eye Stamina
Under the Eye Ant
Under the Nose Honor
Chin Ant
Collarbone What message to you have for me?
Under the Arm Ant
Top of Head Open to the message of ants

Keep tapping while considering the knowledge, experiences, and meaning that the ant may have for you. Be sure to write down any thoughts, beliefs, or feelings that arise when you have finished the tapping meditation. Which characteristics of the ant would you want more of? Which characteristics do you have in abundance?

For me, the ant is a fairly neutral symbol.  I was raised on the image of ants being a nuisance when they visit a picnic.  I have also seen the painful bites or stings from fire ants.  I’ve been intrigued by ant hills and loved the movie Ants.  I even had an ant farm when I was growing up.

Ants are actually pretty important in Native American culture and lore. The Hope, Pueblo, and Akimal O’odham tribes have Ant Clans. The Cherokee celebrate with an Ant Dance.  In the Cahuilla creation myth ants spread the earth out for people and animals to live upon. In a Hopi myth the ant people provided shelter to the humans during the destruction of the First World.  The industriousness and cooperative spirit associated with ants is often the focus of these stories.

Ants are also a common feature in literature.  Ants are mentioned in the Bible and in the Quran.  Ants were featured in A Tramp Abroad by Mark Twain, The Once and Future King by T.H. White, Les Fourmis by Bernard Werber, and The Empire of the Ants by H.G. Wells.  Do you remember the cartoon Atom Ant?  Did you have an ant farm when you were growing up?  Did you play the game Ants in the Pants?  Maybe you are more familiar with the movies Antz by Dream Works Animation in which Z-4195 longs for the opportunity to express himself or the movie A Bugs Life from Pixar Animation Studios in which the misfit ant Flik fancies himself to be an individualist and inventor.

The above selection was from my upcoming book Unleash Your Primal Power: Totem Tapping for Health and Happiness.  If you read my first book Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT you might remember that there was a chapter devoted to using animal characterstics to guide tapping on personality characteristics and change. The upcoming book is an expansion of the concept.

Cover Image of Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT by Dr. Leanna Manuel

Food Is My Only Friend

As we continue our resolutions related to food, exercise, and health in 2019 we will continue to use tapping to increase our odds of success.  The next tapping exercise begins to address some of the emotional reasons we eat.  In this case it is the feeling that food is our friend.  For some people, food may feel like their only friend.

illustration for karate chop point

Say this statement aloud, “Food is my only friend.”  How true does that feel to you?  It may be a stronger feeling on some days than others.  Rate it on the 0-10 scale (10=is very strong or very true.)

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though it feels sometimes like food is my only friend, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.  Even though I eat junk food when I am lonely, and I am afraid of losing my only friend if I stop eating, I choose to find other ways to manage this feeling.  Even though it is terrifying to think of changing my relationship with my food/friend.  I am open to a new way of being.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…Food is my friend

Side of Eye…How can I give that up?

Under the Eye…Sometimes I think food is my only friend

Under the Nose…I have no idea what I would do instead of eating when I feel lonely

Chin…Even the thought makes me want to eat more

Collarbone…Food feels like my best friend

Under the Arm…Everyone wants a best friend

Top of Head…And it’s always there when I need it

Eyebrow…Food never lets me down

Side of Eye…I always feel better when I eat ice cream or chocolate

Under the Eye…At least for a little while

Under the Nose…Later I feel pretty bad

Chin…I am open to others ways of handling these feelings

Collarbone…Food is just food

Under the Arm…It is ok to enjoy it, but I can learn how to handle these other feelings in different ways

Top of Head…Feelings are just feelings, and I can handle them.

Say the original statement again, “Food is my only friend.”  How true does that feel to you now?  Did other thoughts or feelings come up?  Did you find yourself arguing with any of the statements?  Those are great opportunities to continue your tapping on this issue until the truth of the original statement is very low.

Remember you can find these and other tapping exercises to assist in your health and wellness in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping. 

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

Questions or suggestions?  I’d love to hear from you.