Setting Boundaries

brown wooden fence to illustrate setting boundariesWhy is it so hard to set boundaries with other people?

This is something that I have struggled with most of my life.  For me, setting boundaries gets all mixed up with religious teachings about loving other people, societal values, and the general admonition to be nice.  Intellectually I know that one can set boundaries without being mean.  Emotionally, it usually still feels mean.  Try this tapping.

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (tapping karate chop point):  Even though I find it hard to set boundaries with other people, I deeply and completely accept myself and all of my feelings.  Even though I have found it hard to set boundaries with other people in the past, I accept myself and all of my feelings about this.  Even though I find it hard to set boundaries with other people, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and am looking forward to feeling better about this in the future.

 

Eyebrow…I find it hard to set boundaries with other peoplediagram of the tapping points

Side of Eye…I get all nervous

Under the Eye…And I feel it in the pit of my stomach

Under the Nose…And my jaw tightens up

Chin…Even worse, sometimes I stutter

Collarbone…When I do set boundaries, I’m usually very mad

Under the Arm…Then I’m more aggressive than assertive

Top of Head…Or a total basket case

Eyebrow…That’s not really setting boundaries with others

Side of Eye…That is just reacting

Under the Eye…I want to learn more about why it has been hard for me

Under the Nose…I think I’m afraid they won’t like me

Chin…There have been times when I’ve said no

Collarbone…And sometimes it works well

Under the Arm…And sometimes people react badly

Top of Head…I can’t really control other people’s reactions

Eyebrow…And by not setting boundaries, I’m attempting to feel like I’m in control

Side of Eye…But it is really false control

Under the Eye…Because my needs aren’t being met

Under the Nose…I’m looking forward to catching myself in this unhealthy pattern more often

Chin…So that I can observe it and change it

Collarbone…I am open to understanding my motivations in each situation

Under the Arm…I am open to learning new ways to set boundaries with other people

Top of Head…I am looking forward to respecting my own needs while still respecting other people.

 

This tapping sequence is just a jumping off point.  One way to take this further is to tap while telling the story about a specific time that you had trouble setting boundaries.  Include what happened, the thoughts in your head at the time if you remember, the feelings that were present during the event, the feelings that you have now when you think about the event, and even how you wished you might have handled it differently.  The more specific you get, the better the result.

Same Old, Same Old: Dealing with Monotony

Someportion of calendar demonstrating the monotony of every daytimes, in fact lots of times, it has seemed like today is just a repeat of yesterday. That usually doesn’t feel very satisfying and I hate the monotony. Tapping can help us to enjoy the freedom to purposefully create and experience each new moment of every new day.

 

 

 

Nothing Calms Me Down Better Than Food

picture of burger and fries to illustrate unhealthy eatingHow true is this statement for you?

NOTHING CALMS ME DOWN BETTER THAN FOOD!

Most days it is a 10 for me.  Try this tapping exercise and see if it helps.

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup: Nothing calms me down better than food. Whenever I get upset I turn to food. It always works for me. Even though nothing calms me down better than food, I don’t like what it does to my body. I am open to learning new ways of feeling calm. I’m also open to learning more about the things that upset me so that I don’t even need to use food to calm myself.

 

Eyebrow…when I get upset, nothing calms me down better than fooddiagram of the tapping points

Side of Eye…when I get upset, nothing calms me down faster than food

Under the Eye…when I get upset, nothing calms me down better than food

Nose…when I get upset, nothing calms me down faster than food

Chin…when I get upset, nothing calms me down better than food

Collarbone…when I get upset, nothing calms me down faster than food

Under the Arm…when I get upset, nothing calms me down better than food

Top of Head…when I get upset, nothing calms me down faster than food

Eyebrow…Food calms me down

Side of Eye…but it also makes me fat

Under the Eye…when I get upset, nothing calms me down better than food

Nose…And I often need to calm down

Chin…I get upset pretty often

Collarbone…And I use food to calm down

Under the Arm…It is quick, easy, and painless

Top of Head…Well, maybe not painless

Eyebrow…Being overweight is definitely painful

Side of Eye…It is painful both physically and emotionally

Under the Eye…I probably need to learn new ways to deal with my emotions

Nose…Food is quick, but the side effects are long

Chin…I choose to learn to manage my stress in other ways

Collarbone…I can learn to calm myself another way

Under the Arm…Even though I have used food to calm myself in the past

Top of Head…I am excited that there is a possibility of learning a new way.

Feeling Powerless? Get Tapping.

When a feeling or behavior keeps repeating itself I often feel powerless to make a change. Getting to the feeling behind a behavior can be extremely valuable.  One way to do this is by asking the question, “When have I felt this way before?”  The technique can be utilized with any feeling.  This video uses tapping on sugar craving to demonstrate how to chase down the origin of a current emotion.

 

Tapping Into Wealth

Book cover for Tapping Into Wealth: How Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Can Help You Clear The Path To Making More Money by Margaret LynchIt should come as no surprise to anyone that I enjoy reading books about tapping. Tapping has made such a profound change in my life. Quite by chance I ran into the book Tapping Into Wealth: How Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) Can Help You Clear The Path to Making More Money by Margaret Lynch.  It probably also isn’t much of a surprise that I would be interested in making more money.  Who isn’t?

In the past I’ve listened to programs from the EFT World Summit on money and wealth, and I’ll admit that although I heard them, I apparently wasn’t really processing the information.  Even with this book, I picked it up at the library and had to renew it twice because I left it sitting on my shelf without actually reading it.

photo of US dollar billsThe timing must finally have been right because I started reading it.  Soon after I was listening to the CDs from the 2014 Tapping World Summit, having pulled one out at random, and it was Margaret Lynch talking about tapping to get rid of energetic blocks against money and wealth.  Wow!  The word that comes to mind is synchronicity.  Before reading the book I would have told you that I didn’t have any real blocks about money and wealth.  I would have been wrong, but that’s what I would have told you.

One of the things I really like about the book is how approachable she makes this complex topic. There aren’t fancy business or finance terms to deal with. There are practical questions that are, in my case, right on target and there are detailed tapping exercises to deal with the emotional responses dredged up via the questions.

briefcase full of moneyTwo of the chapter titles jumped right out of the Table of Contents.  The first was I Don’t Deserve More Money. I wanted to shout back YES I DO.  Then when I worked my way through the chapter I found out that I had a bunch of hangups about worthiness and deserving that could be interfering with my ability to experience wealth and abundance. The other notable chapter title was I Refuse to Be Rick.  Again, at first glance I was pretty sure that this one would not pertain to me. From comments I remember from my parents, religious teachings, and media references there were subconscious programs running in my head about wealth and wealthy people that were not particularly attractive or compelling.

Because of the overwhelming successes I have experienced and witnessed with tapping, I have complete confidence that if I do the work, the tapping will be successful.  Would you like to create more financial abundance in your life?  Get the book and start tapping.

Dieting is Getting Really Hard

Sometimes it is easy to eat a healthy diet, and other times — not so much!  Here is a tapping sequence I’ve used during those tougher times.

illustration for karate chop pointThe setup (tap on karate chop point).  This dieting is getting really hard. Anything that is this hard is probably too hard for me. Controlling my appetite is hard. Controlling my cravings is even harder than controlling my appetite. Planning ahead is hard. Avoiding sugary snacks is hard. Reading labels is hard. Eating a healthy diet is getting really hard.  I don’t want to do hard things.  I want everything to be easy. I feel like giving up because this is hard. I acknowledge my frustration. I acknowledge my fatigue. I acknowledge my cravings. I acknowledge my appetite. I acknowledge my lack of energy and motivation. Most of all, I acknowledge that these feelings are okay and I’m okay.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…Dieting is really hard

Side of Eye…It’s too hard for me

Under the Eye…I feel like giving up

Nose…I want to eat more food than my body needs

Chin…I don’t want to plan ahead anymore

Collarbone…It is too much work

Under the Arm…It takes too much time

Top of Head…I want it to be easy

Eyebrow…I am really frustrated right now

Side of Eye…I am frustrated with my body

Under the Eye…I am frustrated with my metabolism

Nose…I am so tired of this

Chin…This dieting is so very hard

Collarbone…I am losing my motivation

Under the Arm…This dieting is getting really hard

Eyebrow…I don’t like these feelings

Side of Eye…I don’t believe I should really feel this way

Under the Eye…I’m supposed to enjoy everything all the time

Nose…There must be something wrong with me

Chin…I am trying

Collarbone…I haven’t given up yet

Under the Arm…These feelings are only temporary

Top of Head…It may be hard but I choose to remember that I am worth it.

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly.  Did anything shift for you?  I’d love some feedback on this.  Let me know how it worked for you.

 

Happy Tapping.

Low Energy? Tap – Don’t Snack

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian TappingIt seems to be quite common to reach for sugary snacks when our energy seems to be a little low. Unfortunately, eating that snack is unlikely to address the underlying problem that caused you to want to eat.  Tapping is a great solution for low energy.  Tap along with the video to get a sense of how to use tapping when your energy crashes.  This tapping can also be found in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping.

 

Hoarding or Stocking Up Leads to Scarcity, Not Abundance

What is your mindset?  Are you focused on scarcity or are you focused on abundance?

 

illustration for karate chop pointBegin by tapping on the karate chop point.  Setup: I have a tendency to hoard things. Not like hoarding you see on television, but I sure have trouble throwing things away.  Probably more important than that, I have the mindset that I need to save things in case things go wrong in the future. That mindset goes against what I know about the law of attraction. I know this must be a real issue for me because I don’t even want to look at it. I’ll take that as a sign that I have work to do on this.  I choose to at least begin looking at this issue. I accept myself. I accept my feelings. And I accept my reluctance too.

Eyebrow…I have issues with abundance and scarcity.

Side of Eye…These issues may really be holding me back.

Under the Eye…If I am really using energy anticipating bad things happening

Nose…I am creating those bad things to some extent

Chin…Worrying about worst case scenario is my primary mode

Collarbone…I’ve always thought that by being ready for the worst

Under the Arm…I could handle anything

Top of Head…It is overwhelming to think about how that may be impacting me in the long run

Eyebrow…It certainly has gotten in the way of me enjoying the moment as much as perhaps I could

Side of Eye…I want to embrace this concept more fully

Under the Eye…I suspect it is going to take quite a while for me to really make those changes in my way of interacting with life

Nose…But even small changes can have a big impact

Chin…I’m still feeling some resistance here

Collarbone…I choose to be patient with myself

Under the Arm…I can sit here and tap on this issue until I feel more calm

Top of Head…I can tap on this issue any time I need to

Take a deep breath and let it out.  What did you notice?  When I did this tapping originally a lot of interesting messages came up including things I heard and experienced in childhood, news stories, and information from classes I’ve taken that have led to my previous views on this topic.  If things came up for you, please write them down so you can continue tapping to release any negative beliefs that might be holding you back.

Let Your Mind Wander

Meditative spot at Grand Canyon where you can let your mind wanderI get so many questions about where to start with tapping, what words to say, and whether starting with the negative thoughts is important.  My answer is usually the same – “just start tapping”.  This video is actually a tapping exercise from the book Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping. During this exercise you are encouraged to just let your mind wander and tap, following your own stream of consciousness.  Happy tapping!