I Want To Be Special. Do You?

baby polar bear walking underneath grown up polar bearI think everyone wants to be special.  When I say that I want to be special it feels somehow WRONG.  There are all kinds of automatic negative thoughts that pop into my head when I say that.  Sometimes I hear specific people from my past telling me that I’m not special.  I thought I would share a tapping exercise that I used when caught in the confusion of wanting to be special but having an internal dialogue that it is wrong to want to be special.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (on the karate chop point): I really do want to be special. My thoughts get all jumbled when I try to sort out what I really mean by that. I can see that my desire to be special in some way may be an attempt to elevate myself above others, but that doesn’t feel like the truth to me. I am open to understanding this aspect of myself more.  Even though I sometimes feel that wanting to be special is somehow wrong, I chose to love myself and accept myself anyway.  Even though I have mixed messages about wanting to be special, I chose to love myself and offer forgiveness to myself and to anyone else that has purposefully or accidentally contributed to these feelings.

Eyebrow…I want to be special

Side of Eye…I want to feel special

Under the Eye…Sometimes all it takes is for someone to be kind to me and I feel special

Chin…In my more lucid times I know that their kindness is really about them, not about me

Collarbone…I just like thinking it is about me

Under the Arm…I want other people to sometimes put what I want above what is easy for them

Top of Head…That makes me feel like I am special

Eyebrow…At least special enough to go out of their way for

Side of Eye…But again, that shows more about them than it does about me

Under the Eye…I suspect that I sometimes confuse feeling loved with being special

Under the Nose…Special is a very interesting word isn’t it

Chin…When I say that something is special to me I am assigning importance to it

Collarbone…In my mind, it doesn’t change the status of anything else

Under the Arm…If I were standing with another person and someone said the other person was special

Top of Head…I would wonder what was wrong with me that I wasn’t special too

Eyebrow…It is an interesting contrast

Side of Eye…I am open to knowing what this means

Under the Eye…O am open to experiencing “specialness” in a different way

Under the Nose…I resolve to be more careful in my allocation of specialness toward others so that feelings don’t get hurt

Chin…I’ve been taught that we are all special in God’s eyes

Collarbone…Then what does special mean

Under the Arm…I think in that case it just means that I am important to God

Top of Head…Am I ok with that definition

Eyebrow…No, not really

Side of Eye…But I am open to discovering more truth about this

Under the Eye…I choose to work to decrease my reliance on such arbitrary labels

Under the Nose…I choose to use labels, such as special, more carefully

Chin…I choose to embrace my uniqueness without needing to be “special”

Collarbone…I choose to embrace the uniqueness of others

Under the Arm…I do not need to diminish others in order to feel good about myself

Top of Head…I choose to think and act in ways that allow me to feel good about myself.

Take a deep breath and release it gently.  Has anything shifted?  I know I have a lot more work to do on this need to be or feel special but I did feel something shift when I did the tapping and it felt good.

Sugar Addiction – Video 3 of 3

Photo of easter candy representing sugar addiction at EasterSometimes it is difficult to predict how different aspects of a problem or challenge will appear. In this video there is an update on my sugar addiction tapping and also a general tapping on food anxiety. I thought the re-post of sugar addiction tapping would be absolutely appropriate as we face the Easter basket candy.  Please join in.

Sugar Addiction – Video 2 of 3

This video addressed some of the emotions that can drive a sugar sugary snackaddiction such as anger and embarrassment.

Say this statement “I am a sugar addict.”  How true does that feel to you on a 0-10 scale (10=very true)?  Write that number down before you start tapping to release the hold that sugar addiction has on you.

Today I Faced The Marshmallow Fluff, and I Lost

This story came from Linda.  She said that she was tired, frustrated, and irritable after her difficult day.  As any good food addict will do – she turned to food.  She wasn’t proud of it, but that day she had faced the marshmallow fluff and it won.  Here is the way we started tapping.  Feel free to tap along.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup: (tapping the karate chop point) Even though I gave into temptation and ate marshmallow fluff by the spoonful today, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though I ate marshmallow fluff in response to being tired and frustrated, I choose to view myself with love and compassion. Even though I ate marshmallow fluff in secret so nobody would know, I choose to get back on track right now.

Eyebrow…I ate marshmallow fluff

Side of Eye…First I put some on my brownie

Under the Eye…Then I ate some on a spoon with some peanut butter

Nose…Then I just ate it off a spoon without anything else

Chin…Knowing that I still have these behaviors makes me feel so defeated sometimes

Collarbone…I wasn’t really hungry, but I was craving something sweet

Under the Arm…It was here, easy, and easy to hide

Top of Head…I didn’t eat enough to do a lot of damage to my diet

Eyebrow…But I did damage my confidence

Side of Eye…I also know that once I start, it is sometimes hard to stop

Under the Eye…It’s good to know that I can tap on that issue too if I need to

Nose…I am angry with myself for eating the fluff

Chin…I’m disappointed with myself for eating the fluff

Collarbone…I feel like a failure

Under the Arm…I feel like a fraud

Top of Head…The fluff won, and I hate that

In this case we just started where she was at the time.  The words of the setup statement state the truth of what happened, but also state where she wanted to end up –acceptance and able to get back on track. It wouldn’t have been beneficial to pretend that it didn’t happen.  During the rest of the tapping the behaviors were described but also some of the negative self talk about eating the fluff.  This part can be expanded to cover all of the feelings that come up.

For Linda it didn’t really take more than this.  As soon as she acknowledged the behavior and expressed her feelings about it while tapping she experienced considerable relief.  She told me later that she did additional tapping on the specific feeling of being a failure at another time and was able to get clarity and relief there too.

As you can see, the tapping doesn’t have to be complicated.  You just have to get started.

Tapping Video: I’m Not Smart Enough

old books side by side on library shelfSometimes reading and studying ancient texts can seem daunting or even impossible.  I like to use tapping to break down the barriers that keep us from being able to explore new or complex ideas.  In the video below I demonstrate tapping on not feeling smart enough and the automatic negative thought of never going to be able to “get it.”  Feel free to tap along.

Tapping Video: How To Deal With A Chocolate Craving

person's face covered in chocolate to symbolize chocolate cravingCravings can be intense.  Sometimes I’ve been successful with willpower to resist a craving.  More often than not, I haven’t.  That picture really says it all.  When I want chocolate I want it now, I want a lot of it, and I have had fantasies of swimming in a vat of it. Join in with me while I use meridian tapping to address a strong craving for chocolate and a feeling of resistance about even doing the tapping – because I know it works.

Book Review – The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body Confidence

Book Cover of The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body ConfidenceOK.  I’ll admit it.  It was hard for me to read The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: a Woman’s Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More by Jessica Ortner.  It was even harder for me to like it.  But honestly – its great.  I feel the need to explain, I had just written and published a book on tapping and weight loss too when her’s came out called Don’t Diet: Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping. I was definitely feeling defensive and book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tappingbelieved that the release of her book would have a negative impact on my book.  Actually it might have, but that’s not really the point.  I did what I try to always do when I have negative emotions – I started tapping.

Once I had tapped enough to feel comfortable that there is room enough in this world for two books on tapping and weight loss I dove in.  You might even say that I “devoured” it.  It is written in the same charismatic style that all of the materials from The Tapping Solution are written in.  It would be hard to resist smiling at the all-too-honest accounts of self-doubt, overindulgence (food and guilt) and insecurity that Jessica shares.  I definitely could relate.

The tapping examples were fantastic, although I would have preferred a few more. The book design and page layout are enviable. The quotes were inspirational and the stories of real women and their struggles were motivational. If there are any negatives (and I’m not sure that there are) one would be the title. There are so many words on the cover that it was difficult to know what the title was without turning to the copyright page. Also, the topic of self-sabotage or psychological reversal was not highlighted as much as I might have expected given the type of challenge being addressed.

Will I read it again?  Already did.

Will I recommend it to others? Absolutely.  Have even bought copies for gifts.

The book is attractive, informative, inspirational, and potentially life changing.

Tapping Video: Worried About What Others Will Think

Three people in meeting worried about what each other is thinkingDo you worry more about what others think than what you think? Do you let your beliefs about what others might think make your decisions for you?  Would you like to listen to your own inner guidance rather than abdicating your decisions to others? Tap along with the video to gain clarity about the problem and to start the process of change.