Finding the Meaning in Everyday Life

Practice Makes Perfect

If you ever took piano lessons as a child I’m sure you heard the words, “practice makes perfect.” While I’m not a fan of the word “perfect”, the general concept that repetition improves performance is valid. There is a caveat, the repetition must be approximating the desired result, not repeating the errors.

The phrase “neurons that fire together wire together” was first used by the Canadian neuropsychologist Donald Hebb in 1949. The gist is that the more frequently you utilize a specific neural pathway, the stronger it becomes. So, if you play the same piano keys in a sequence over and over again that pattern creates somewhat of a superhighway in your brain.

This is great if what you are practicing is something you want to keep in your brain and it serves your greater purpose. Practice makes perfect after all. But what do you think happens if you say to yourself, aloud or silently, that you are stupid, fat, anxious, or worthless? Bingo! That creates a superhighway too.

Black and White Exit Signage on Roadside

Over time, superhighways in the brain become resistant to change and you need to build off ramps. Once the off ramps are created and used frequently, the original negative superhighway crumbles or can be closed. How do you build an off ramp? You can build one by refuting the negative statement and creating a new one.

Examples:

Highway: I am stupid

Off ramp: That wasn’t my best moment but I am a smart person.

Highway: I am fat

Off ramp: I am working with my body to become more lean

Highway: I am anxious

Off ramp: Sometimes I feel nervous just like everybody else and I choose to remain confident in my ability to handle life’s challenges

Highway: I am depressed

Off ramp: My mood has been lower than I would like recently so it is time to take positive action

Highway: I am worthless

Off ramp: I am a wonderful and perfectly created child of God

It is important to use the off ramps at least as often, if not more often than you travel down the negative superhighway.

I usually recommend that you use journaling as you begin the process. There seems to be somethig beneficial about making these statements formally and seeing them in written format. Saying it aloud is also beneficial.

Remember….what you practice will grow stronger. Practice makes perfect. Choose wisely!

I’m Not Joan

One of my favorite growth and development books is The Path, by Laurie Beth Jones. In this book I was introduced to the concept of a peronal mission statement, which is really a written reason for one’s existence. Although there are many examples, the one that stuck with me over the years is Joan of Arc. Her mission statement – Free France! Every decision she made after setting her intention could be weighed against that mission. Clearly, I’m not Joan.

I’ve been using and recommending this book for a long time and have repeated the exercises at different statges of my life. While some components of my personal mission have remained constant, others have changed. Clearly, I’m not Joan.

The author writes that “forgetting your mission leads, inevitably, to getting tangled up in the details–details that can take you completely off your path.” This is where Joan and I are even more dissimilar it would seem. My personal mission isn’t always in the forefront of my consciousness and as a result, I am more easily tossed on the tide of daily living.

My current mission is to recognize, appreciate, and encourage the spark of joy and unique essence in all people I encounter in order to create ripples of compassion and intelligence throughout the world. Seems pretty big! I think I will need reminders to keep on track so I plan to post this on the mirror in my bathroom so I see it first thing in the morning. I’m hopeful it will have a positive impact on my day.

I’ve been thinking of the things I need to work on in order to pursue that mission. The first is mindfulness. I need to remain more present in the current moment in order to recognize the spark of joy and unique essence. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes.

Do you have a personal mission statement? I’d love to hear it.

Back To Basics

It is time for me to get back to basics. Allow me to explain. I have not been feeling well, have been gaining weight at a very rapid rate, and have just not been happy in spite of many positive things happening in my life. I’ve tried analyzing my situation, tried just forcing my way though, and for a brief period even tried to ignore it. I’ve shared little pieces of this on my blog, but I haven’t even written an article for a while. None of that has worked, so it’s back to basics.

There are some obvious contributing factors including my current job. Since beginning this job 3 years ago my health has declined due to the increased sedentary work, no longer having the option to work out at lunch consistently, and generally feeling misunderstood and unappreciated. There is the other obvious factor that each year I get a little older. I really don’t bounce back as quickly as I used to from stress, illness, or injury.

Back to Basics

Read. I have a few “go-to” books that can inspire better self care. My list for the next few weeks includes 1) Go Wild by John Ratey and Richard Manning, 2) Innercise by John Assaraf, 3) The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body Confidence by Jessica Ortner, and 4) Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life by Wayne Dyer. I have read each of these multiple times and they inspire me.
Walk. When I first moved here I walked 2x a day. Religiously – rain, snow, heat, dark. I committed to it and didn’t let anything deter me. It wasn’t always easy and sometimes I only walked for a few minutes and other times I walked for hours. My dogs went with me. Sometimes I had to use a flashlight. I have continued to park pretty far away from my building to work in some extra steps but I rarely go for a walk. I am committing to walking 2x a day beginning today. I already got one walk in at lunch and it felt great. I was amazed at how good it felt to be outside in the middle of my work day. I know I won’t always be able to go outside to walk, but am shooting for at least 50% of my walks to be outside. I’m not setting a time limit/requirement. My only commitment right now is to get started.
Eat only foods that make me feel good physically. I really do know what foods make me feel great and what foods make me feel awful. Unfortunately, the foods that make me feel awful do give me a bit of a brief emotional lift. That feeling doesn’t last and is rarely worth it. While many people preach moderation, I have been trying that unsuccessfully. With many foods, once I start I can’t stop.
Return to pampering myself. When I was having more success with my weight and health I was practicing some pretty “intensive” (by my terms) self care. I was getting regular massages, getting manicures and pedicures, and engaging in activities just for the fun of them. I visited museums and exhibits, and I spent time in nature. Almost all of those things have fallen away and now when I get massages they aren’t really for relaxation, but instead to remedy some physical ailment. While that needs to continue, I need to be aware of the pampering time too.
Schedule management. I have so many wonderful things going on in my life. It is often difficult to prioritize. The reality is that too many wonderful things can also become stress. I don’t know
if I will really drop any of my activities, and am actually considering a new one, but am increasing my mindful participation in each of them instead of letting my mind drift to the things I’ve done in the past or the upcoming demands.
Bloom where I’m planted, but change “gardens” (work) as soon as possible. I’ve already started transitioning to a new “garden” and love it. Just knowing there is a plan in place is beneficial to me. The choice to stay in my current “garden” for a short while longer is just that, a choice. I’m no longer stuck. I’m trading a small portion of time in a less than desirable position for some financial security while making the transition. Unpleasant? Yes. The best choice right now? Probably. Set in stone? Definitely not.

Many people wait until the new year to make resolutions and I was tempted to do that too. But I feel awful now. The new year is pretty far away. So Carpe Diem. Back to Basics.

Do you have some “Back to Basics” that would benefit you right now? Please share.

Primal Power Has Gone Live

Unleash your Primal Power: Totem Tapping for Health and Happiness has gone live. It is now available at bookstores online and locally. I would really appreciate your feedback and reviews are definitely welcome.

It has been a long time coming. Although I’ve written other books, this one was probably the most fun to write. It is actually based on a chapter from my first book Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom. Unleash Your Primal Power expands on the concept that we can find a starting spot for tapping by considering the animals that we either love, fear, or have some sort of a strong feeling about. Of course there isn’t room in a single volume to describe all of the possible tapping options with each animal, but there are many examples that can help you get started on your own journey.

You will also find plenty of information about how to tap, why I tap, and other interesting facts. You can also find additional examples of primal power tapping throughout this website. If you have a particular animal that you would like me to provide some tapping about, just ask. You could also suggest a personality trait or challenge and then we could work backwards by thinking about what animal that might remind you of. The possibilities are almost endless.

Happy Tapping.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

Primal Power has been set free.

I’ve been anticipating the completion of my new book Unleash Your Primal Power: Totem Tapping for Health and Happiness for quite a while now. Well, it is finally completed and available for sale. I am excited to share this book with everyone. It seems like I have been working toward this goal forever and I am pretty pleased with the outcome. Catchy title. Attractive Cover. But most of all, a topic that I am passionate about.

So far, Unleash Your Primal Power is available in softcover and e-book on both Amazon and Balboa Press. If it isn’t already, it should also be available at Barnes and Noble very soon. If you find it other places, please let me know. Once you have read it, honest reviews are appreciated.

One of the questions I was recently asked was what the title meant. The video that follows explains the concept and title. If you have other questions, please ask.

Here is an excerpt from Chapter 22 that also helps to explain the title.

I see primal power as the source or essence of our personality. It is that essential spark that is inherent in all of us and fundamental to the way we interact in our world. It is that part of us that is untainted by life’s hard knocks and is simmering at our core, waiting for expression.

Power is defined as the ability to do something or take action. Common synonyms include ability, capacity, potential, capability, and competence. When you pair the definition of primal with the definition of power you get an ability or potential for doing great things because of a fundamental essence or characteristic.

Then there is the word unleash. That means to release from a leash or similar type of restraint. Common synonyms are release, free, untie, untether, or unshackle. Combining this with the definitions or primal and power, this book has been about helping you to break free of the external and internal forces that have kept you imprisoned or that have made it hard for you to grow into the person you want to become so you can exercise that essential or fundamental ability to act in ways that you choose and desire.

Happy Tapping

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

SEO Fitness Workbook 2019

I’ll admit it. I’m not usually fond of having my intellectual weaknesses highlighted. I know I have them. There are very few people that are awesome at everything. I recently read (listened to) SEO Fitness Workbook 2019 by Jason McDonald. I’ve been trying to work on my social media presence and was very much aware that SEO isn’t my strong suit.

Although I had gotten away from doing book reviews, here is the one I put on Amazon about this book…..

Disclaimer – I started this book as an SEO Idiot. I finished this book as an SEO Idiot with hope. I have spent literally years wondering why I could never get traffic to my website. I’ve been listening to this book on audible, and about 3.5 hours in I had one of those jaw dropping, lightbulb lighting, and forehead smacking experiences that you only see in cartoons. I had to pull off the road – literally – because I was laughing and crying so hard. I decided to listen all the way through once before embarking on the journey to try to correct the problems with my website. I feel pretty confident that, following his advice, I will be able to make some positive changes. In addition, I have just enough knowledge to speak semi-intelligently if I choose to hire someone to help me. I highly recommend this book to ANYONE who wasn’t born with computers, has a business, or just wants to know how this all works.

SEO Fitness Workbook: The Seven Steps to Search Engine Optimization Success on Google (2019 Updated Edition) by [McDonald, Jason]

I really do recommend this book. I’ve listened to it twice now. Maybe the third time will be the charm….and I should probably do the recommended exercises.

Worried About the Economy

No matter which news channel you watch you will find dire predictions from time to time about the economy. Unless you have advanced knowledge in that field it is so hard to know who to believe. This can create significant anxiety about money, finance, and the future. We can use tapping to decrease that anxiety.

Money and the economy can be sources of stress, even for individuals with good jobs, steady incomes, and money in the bank. It seems that money issues are quite common and sometimes very debilitating. In addition to spending a great deal of our time each week in the active pursuite of money, we have many beliefs about money that can disrupt our energy system at times.

Take a minute and write down a few of the thoughts and feelings you have about money, the current economy, or predictions about the future. Set aside some time later to tap on the things that you wrote down. For now, tap along with the following script to get started.

Say this statement aloud, “I’m worried about the economy.” Rate the intensity or truth of that statement on a 0-10 scale, with 10 being very worried and 0 being not worried at all. Write down the rating.

Tap on the karate chop point and repeat these phrases,”Even though I am worried about the economy, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I am worried about the economy, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and all of my worries. Even though I am worried about the economy and it makes me feel uncertain about my future, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.”

Eyebrow…I am worried about the economy.

Side of Eye…The news is always bad

Under the Eye…No one seems to have enough money

Under the Nose…I am afraid for the future since the economy is so bad

Chin…I am worried about the economy

Collarbone…Feeling very insecure about money

Under the Arm…With the economy being as bad as it is

Top of Head…It makes sense to worry about money

Eyebrow…Even though I am worried about the economy

Side of Eye…I choose to look for options

Under the Eye…It seems like no one has enough money

Under the Nose…But there are people who seem to be doing fine

Chin…Instead of looking at the problems

Collarbone…I choose to look for the solutions

Under the Arm…When I feel insecure about money

Top of Head…I choose to feel calm and confident anyway

Take a deep breath and let it out. Check the intensity of your original statement by saying it aloud, “I’m worried about the economy.” Record your rating. Continue to tap using these, or more personal statements until the intensity is much lower.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

Happy Tapping.

Ready, Set, Wait a Bit Longer for Unleash Your Primal Power

It has been an exciting week. On Friday I saw the cover design and interior layout for Unleash Your Primal Power: Totem Tapping for Health and Happiness. While a few tweaks will be necessary, the finish line for getting this book “on the shelves” is starting to come into view.

Just the title is enough to make you feel that something is happening. After all, the word UNLEASH gives you the sense that something powerful is about to be set free. Indeed I hope that is true for you. I believe that most, if not all people, have an inner wisdom or spirit, that if we just allowed it to flow freely or be “unleashed,” would guide and improve our lives.

Unleash Your Primal Power combines the technique – tapping, with animal characteristics to form an easily learned technology for lasting personal change. The book will guide you through multiple examples, using different animal characteristics, to help you get started.

Try this exercise:

What is the first animal you would like to visit at the zoo if you could just walk straight to it?
Name at least 3 characteristics of that animal that you admire or enjoy.
How similar are you to that animal?
In your daily life do you exhibit those 3 characteristics above? Do you behave somewhat different, or opposite of those 3 characteristics?
How would it help you to be more like the animal?
What situations do you see yourself in that, if you behaved or thought more like that animal, you would benefit?
Have there been specific times when you behaved the opposite?
Was there a specific time when you “learned” that having those characterstics was unsafe?
Is it still unsafe?
Imagine yourself exhibiting the characteristics of the animal. How does it feel?

I hope you wrote down your answers. Now, start tapping using the questions and answers above. Change tapping spots as you are guided by your intuition. When you are done, be sure to write down any thoughts or feelings that you had.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

Tapping In My Own Life

I was recently asked how I use tapping in my own life. I was hesitant to answer this one because it is a bit embarrassing (tap, tap, tap). My confession is that sometimes I don’t. I was concerned that my readers would think I was a fraud. I have heard others talk about this too. It seems incongruent that I would believe in tapping, teach it to others, and then not always use it.

I forget. I know that sounds lame, but even after all of these years I forget about tapping. Jessica Ortner, from the Tapping Solution, has talked about how she doesn’t always remember to use tapping, because emotionally or energetically she isn’t at her current, adult, tapping-expert stage. She is in that upset inner child frame of mind and her inner child doesn’t know tapping. I was so relieved to hear her say that. I get there too.

I use tapping frequently to manage the minor inconveniences and hassles of daily living. Stuck in traffic – I tap. Feel foolish because I dropped or spilled something – I usually tap. Over-the-top angry with someone close to me – I sometimes tap. Upset about a repetitive pattern that extends back to childhood and makes me feel inadequate – I almost never remember to tap right away.

I manage this by having other people in my life that remind me to tap when I am getting that overwhelmed and haven’t started tapping on my own. They bring me back into my adult self so that I can use the tools I’ve honed over the years.

Happy Tapping.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

How Long Does Tapping Take?

How long does tapping take? That question has two different components. First, the question could be how long does tapping take to learn? The second question seems to be how long does it take to bring relief from a problem or challenge? The first question is the easiest so lets start there.

Learning the basics of how to tap takes less than 10 minutes. All you need to do is learn the tapping points (or if you are really in a hurry all you need is to look at a tapping point chart or tap along to a video).

Tapping is one of those skills that gets easier and more effective with practice though. What can sometimes take the longest about tapping is to learn how to get to the heart of the matter that is bothering you. Sometimes we are really resistant (on a subconsious level). That is why I usually recommend that you start, without any of the words that you see people using when they tap, and just experience the relief from the physical tapping first. Then, as you become more comfortable with that part, you can add words to help you “tune in” to whatever is going on.

The question about how long it takes to get relief is more difficult. How long seems to be a very specific to each individual and problem. That is not to say that problems causing severe distress take longer and minor distress resolves quickly. Some problems have been there longer, and in my practice seem to take longer to resolve. They often involve habitual ways of thinking and responding that have been reinforced by multiple life experiences.

For me that takes more tapping. That said, there can be significant relief within the first round or two of tapping, but there is more work to be done. I’ve managed the overwhelm and pain of physical therapy within a few minutes. Managing the frustration of needing physical therapy because of an injury has taken much longer. That is because of the negative self talk involved.

I have also found that the sooner you start tapping about something that is currently going on, the more quickly it will resolve. Stuck in traffic and frustrated? Tap while you are waiting and the emotional distress melts away. Wait 15 years to tap about something someone said to you in high school and it might take longer.

Happy Tapping.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.