Setting limits on myself can be difficult. I often wonder, “how much do I need?” This video is about looking deeper into the reasons why I might be resistant to setting those limits.
If you didn’t see the background story click here.
Are you struggling with your weight? I am, and I’m finding it a little hard to accept since I literally wrote a book on losing weight. I was successful for quite a few years but recently have gained some weight. I’m inviting you to join me as I re-start my weight loss/health improvement journey.
This video is the first in what I hope will be a series of very real, very personal, and very successful tapping experiences to get me back on track. As with all good journeys we need a starting point so listen in on my back story and future plan.
Stay tuned. The next video will be on resistence to doing portion control.
What is it you are really ordering when you go to a restaurant? Do you order food or are you ordering comfort? Many people who struggle with weight are ordering comfort. They are not thinking about how they will feel nourished. They are not thinking about how they will feel healthier.
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – When I go to a restaurant, I don’t really order food, I order comfort. I think about how I will feel more than how it will nourish my body. I am pretty sure I would be healthier if I thought about nourishment when eating and thought about comfort when I am doing other things. Even though I have food and comfort somehow confused, I love and accept myself and am thankful that I am finally getting some clarity about this issue. It seems that I have confused food and comfort in the past; however, I am excited about a new way of thinking about this. Even though I have confused food and comfort in the past, and I am feeling just a little stubborn about giving it up, I love and accept myself anyway.
Eyebrow…I need comfort
Side of Eye…And I do it with food
Under the Eye…I have confused food with comfort
Under the Nose…And I would like to find a way to deal with that
Chin…I want comfort
Collarbone…I haven’t been good about getting it except through food
Under the Arm…I want that to change
Top of Head…This need to get comfort through food
Eyebrow…I have a need to get comfort through food
Side of Eye…Even though I want comfort
Under the Eye…I choose to let food be food
Under the Nose…It is ok to enjoy it
Chin…But it doesn’t – CAN’T – fill up the empty spot inside of me
Collarbone…It is ok to want comfort
Under the Arm…It is ok to like food
Top of Head…I choose to seek other ways to get comfort in my life
BONUS TAPPING: Begin tapping on the spots. Repeat the word “failure” aloud. Continue tapping while focusing on the thoughts and feelings associated with failure as it relates to your eating habits.
There are many people who enjoy a glass or two of wine and feel that it helps them to relax. There are also people who are watching their calories and know that wine doesn’t help much with that daily calorie count. Here is a tapping that might help with that decision-making.
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though wine helps me relax in the evening, I know that it adds to the calories I’m taking in each day. I don’t even want to think about giving that up too. I’ve already given up so many foods that I love in order to lose weight. Giving up my wine just doesn’t feel like it is even possible. What would I do to relax in the evening instead? Even though this conflict feels very uncomfortable to me, I am open to wisdom and clarity. Even though I am reluctant to give up my glass of wine in the evening, and I suspect that it is making it harder for me to reach my weight loss goals, I love and accept myself anyway.
Eyebrow…Wine helps me relax in the evening
Side of Eye…I just don’t know what I would do without it
Under the Eye…I am afraid that I would be uptight and anxious
Under the Nose…I certainly don’t want that
Chin…Besides, they say wine is good for you
Collarbone…It is almost a health food
Under the Arm…I really do know better than that
Top of Head…I don’t like the idea that I have to drink wine just to relax
Eyebrow…It wold be nice if I could come up with some other things that relax me too
Side of Eye…Maybe things that don’t have so many calories
Under the Eye…Or even things that burn calories
Under the Nose…That would be nice
Chin…I could ask for help so I don’t feel overwhelmed
Collarbone…Wine does help be relax in the evening
Under the Arm…Adding all of the those calories on to the end of my day isn’t really what I want in the long run
Top of Head…But I don’t want anybody to take it away from me
Eyebrow…I am choosing what calories I want to put in my body
Side of Eye…Sometimes I might plan my day so that I have a glass of wine
Under the Eye…Some days I might not
Under the Nose…Nothing bad will happen to me if I don’t drink wine
Chin…There are lots of ways I can take care of myself
Collarbone…It feels good to know that I have choices
Under the Arm…It feels good to take care of myself
Top of Head…It feels good to know I can always tap if I need to relax
If you aren’t feeling completely calm about this yet, keep tapping. Use your own words and describe how you really feel about the situation to get the most relief.
There is a thing that happens when we get off track with our diet plan. The thought “I might as well eat whatever I want because I already blew it” pops in. Sometimes I am able to think “get back on track right now”, but usually I set some date in the future to resume healthy eating. The tapping exercise below may help.
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – I already blew my diet so I might as well eat whatever I want. There’s no point in controlling my food now. I’ve already pointed the guilt finger at myself. I’m already wallowing in blame. So I might as well eat. Even though all of these things are true, I want to love and accept myself anyway. It is pretty hard to love and accempt myself with all of this guilt and shame, but I am open to the possibility that I could do it. Even though I am a quitter and planning to give up immediately just because I slipped off my food plan, I want to choose to start again right now.
Eyebrow…I already blew it
Side of Eye…I already ate something that is on my forbidden list
Under the Eye…I ate way too much of it too
Under the Nose…I feel the guilt and shame
Chin…I might as well go ahead and eat whatever I want
Collarbone…That is what quitters do
Under the Arm…I am a guilt and shameful quitter
Top of Head…Ouch. That smarts.
Eyebrow…Sometimes I give up
Side of Eye…Sometimes I don’t
Under the Eye…I don’t have to give up just because I made a mistake
Under the Nose…I have options
Chin…I have choices
Collarbone…”I already blew it” might not be totally accurate
Under the Arm…I wouldn’t tell anyone else to give up just because of a simple error
Top of Head…I am not going to tell myself that right now either. I can start back on my food plan whenever I choose, including now.
This example is shorter and for illustration only. With a topic like this, I probably would not switch from the negative to the positive so quickly in real life. After the first round of negative tapping I recommend checking in to see how much change has occurred. In this case “I already blew it” should have an intensity below 3 before moving on to the positive tapping in order to fully deal with this issue.
Just for today, I can ignore my health. That is a great example of unhealthy thinking. But it is also an example of something most of us really think. If you think it is harmful to your body why do you want to eat it on your birthday, or any other time? I don’t have an answer for you, but I do have a short tapping to get you started.
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I feel entitled to overeat on my birthday, I choose to keep my goals in mind. I feel that I really deserve to blow my diet since it is a special occasion but I choose to consider finding ways to celebrate without hurting my body or my health. Even though there is a possibility that I will “blow it”, I deeply and completely accept myself including the parts of me that want this indulgence.
Eyebrow…It’s my birthday
Side of Eye…I deserve to eat whatever I want
Under the Eye…It doesn’t seem fair to have to say no to food on my birthday
Under the Nose…I want steak or lobster
Chin…I want cake and ice cream
Collarbone…I want pancakes and bacon for breakfast
Under the Arm…How can my day be special without those things?
Top of Head…Of course I could eat all of that but just eat smaller portions
Eyebrow..But I’m not sure that would satisfy me either
Side of Eye…Shouldn’t I be able to have whatever I want on my birthday?
Under the Eye…The answer is yes. But, maybe I should look closer at what I really want.
Under the Nose…Will those foods make me feel good about myself?
Chin…No they won’t
Collarbone…Will overeating make me feel loved?
Under the Arm…No it won’t
Top of Head…I want to choose to find ways to love myself on my birthday without hurting my health
Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Now is the time to keep tapping with the answers to some of those questions. What do you really want? How can you show yourself love without hurting your health?
BONUS TAPPING: Name 3 comfort foods. While tapping through the points, describe them in as much detail as you possibly can. Continue tapping while you describe your first memory of these foods. Spend some time thinking about what these foods mean to you, when you crave them the most, and how you feel when you eat them.
Have you lost the same 5, 10, or 15 pounds over and over again? You work really hard to get them off, yet you seem to gain them back almost over night. Then, you do it all over again. This sequence of events is addressed in today’s tapping example.
Tapping
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before; however, I choose to be amazed at how easy it will be to keep it off this time. Even though I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before I respect my choice to lose it, or not lose it again. Even though I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before I love and accept myself with or without those 5 pounds.
Eyebrow…I am so depressed
Side of Eye…Because I’ve lost the same 5 pounds before
Under the Eye…Not just once
Under the Nose…But over and over again
Chin…That feels like failure to me
Collarbone…I know it doesn’t have to keep happening that way
Under the Arm…But it feels like this cycle will never stop
Top of Head…I acknowledge my frustration
Eyebrow…I acknolwedge that I am feeling bad about this
Side of Eye…I don’t want to continue the struggle
Under the Eye…I would like to find a way to make this easier
Under the Nose…Stressing out over it won’t help me reach my goal
Chin…I am proud of myself for not giving up
Collarbone…I’d like to keep it off this time
Under the Arm…And I am open to having it be much easier
Top of Head…I love and accept myself, with or without this struggle.
Take a deep breath and let it out gently. How do you feel about the 5 pounds now? This exercise isn’t really about the 5 pounds. Most people’s weight fluctuates and the truth is that the ups happen much more easily for some people than the downs. How we feel about those fluctuations is the real issue and can set us up for even more difficulty. The key to this exercise is asserting that you can love and accept yourself no matter what your weight.
Bonus Exercise
Are you feeling brave? If so, take a look at your stomach. Take a really good look at it from the front, the side, clothed, and naked. Write down the first words that pop into your mind and then tap about those.
People have many different emotions about their body. Although there are some people who are completely satisfied with their weight and appearance, I don’t personally know very many. What I hear more often is people that are angry about their weight and body. Unfortunately, being angry with yourself doesn’t generally lead to resolution and change. That’s where tapping can help.
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I feel angry about the way my body looks, I deeply and completely love and accept myself right now. Even though I feel angry about the way my body looks, I am open to the possibility that I could feel differently about this tomorrow. Even though I feel angry about the way my body looks, I choose to take inspired action rather than reacting to this negative emotion.
Eyebrow…I am so angry
Side of Eye…I hate the way my body looks
Under the Eye…And I did this to myself
Under the Nose…I am so angry about the way my body looks
Chin…Doing anything about this feels almost impossible
Collarbone…This anger isn’t very healthy for me
Under the Arm…And probably makes it even harder to lose weight
Top of Head…I acknowledge my anger
Eyebrow…I acknowledge my challenges
Side of Eye…I accept who I am, even with this less than perfect body
Under the Eye…I have been so angry
Under the Nose…I have been angry about my body’s appearance
Chin…And I blame myself for it
Collarbone…That means I’ve been angry with myself
Under the Arm…I accept where I am right now
Top of Head…And I look forward to a future where I can accept my body too.
Take a deep breath and let it out gently. At first glance it may seem that we haven’t changed anything with this tapping. This is a necessary starting point for creating any lasting change around weight and body issues. It is absolutely essential to first accept the truth of where we are openly and honestly, and without blame or shame. From that place of acceptance, miracles can happen.
There are those days when I just have the strong urge and I need chocolate NOW! They don’t happen as often as they used to, and I can usually tap my way past it. This is one version of the tapping that I use to manage those strong cravings.
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I really want chocolate right now, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though chocolate isn’t part of my food plan right now, I acknowledge that I want it anyway. Even though I am craving chocolate right now, I choose to look for other ways to take care of my emotions first. I accept my cravings. I accept my emotions. I am open to clarity.
Eyebrow…I really want chocolate right now
Side of Eye…The craving is very strong
Under the Eye…Chocolate is the only thing that will fix it
Under the Nose…Fix what?
Chin…It will make me feel better
Collarbone…It will fix the problem
Under the Arm…I don’t even know what the probhlem is
Top of Head…Then how do I know chocolate is the answer?
Eyebrow…I am open to clarity about my emotions
Side of Eye…It won’t really fix the problem
Under the Eye…It does taste good
Under the Nose…It is ok to eat chocolate because it tastes good, but not to manage my emotions
Chin…I am glad I have tapping to handle these strong emotions
Collarbone…I choose to remain in control of my eating
Under the Arm…I can manage my emotions in many ways
Top of Head…I like chocolate but I am learning to love myself with or without it
This tapping is usually enough to take the edge off of the craving, but hopefully leads to recognition of the underlying emotion that caused the strong craving. At the nose point we asked ourselves, “Fix what?” The answer to that question is a source for additional tapping and greater long-term relief.
For some people food feels like their only pleasure. This is not currently true for me, but it has been true at other times in my life. Just the thought of giving up highly pleasurable foods can cause panic and despair. Try tapping along to release your desire for food pleasure.
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I am afraid to give up my food pleasure, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I am afraid to give up my food pleasure, I choose to feed my body with love and logic. Even though I am afraid to give up my food pleasure, I am open to feeling joy and pleasure in other ways.
Eyebrow…I am afraid to give up my food pleasure
Side of Eye…If I give up some of these foods, I may never feel any pleasure ever again
Under the Eye…I have so few pleasures now that I don’t want to give any of them up
Under the Nose…What would I ever have to look forward to if I didn’t have these foods?
Chin…I am so afraid to give up my food pleasure
Collarbone…Sometimes it feels like that is all I’ve got
Under the Arm…I don’t think I can give up my food pleasure
Top of Head…Without my food pleasure, there would be no end to my misery
Eyebrow…The pleasure of food keeps the sadness away
Side of Eye…The pleasure of food keeps the boredom away
Under the Eye…The pleasure of food keeps the loneliness away
Under the Nose…I wonder if there is a way to keep some of the pleasure of food
Chin…Without overeating and making myself fat?
Collarbone…That would be a great compromise
Under the Arm…I am open to the small possibility that I don’t have to eat so much in order to feel pleasure
Top of Head…I am open to the small possibility that I don’t have to eat foods that are bad for my body in order to feel pleasure.
Do you have questions about tapping about diet and exercise or just questions about tapping in general? Many of your questions may be answered in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping. I’d also love to hear from you. If you are uncomfortable asking your questions in this public forum, you can email me at dontdietbook@gmail.com.