I think everyone wants to be special. When I say that I want to be special it feels somehow WRONG. There are all kinds of automatic negative thoughts that pop into my head when I say that. Sometimes I hear specific people from my past telling me that I’m not special. I thought I would share a tapping exercise that I used when caught in the confusion of wanting to be special but having an internal dialogue that it is wrong to want to be special.
Setup (on the karate chop point): I really do want to be special. My thoughts get all jumbled when I try to sort out what I really mean by that. I can see that my desire to be special in some way may be an attempt to elevate myself above others, but that doesn’t feel like the truth to me. I am open to understanding this aspect of myself more. Even though I sometimes feel that wanting to be special is somehow wrong, I chose to love myself and accept myself anyway. Even though I have mixed messages about wanting to be special, I chose to love myself and offer forgiveness to myself and to anyone else that has purposefully or accidentally contributed to these feelings.
Eyebrow…I want to be special
Side of Eye…I want to feel special
Under the Eye…Sometimes all it takes is for someone to be kind to me and I feel special
Chin…In my more lucid times I know that their kindness is really about them, not about me
Collarbone…I just like thinking it is about me
Under the Arm…I want other people to sometimes put what I want above what is easy for them
Top of Head…That makes me feel like I am special
Eyebrow…At least special enough to go out of their way for
Side of Eye…But again, that shows more about them than it does about me
Under the Eye…I suspect that I sometimes confuse feeling loved with being special
Under the Nose…Special is a very interesting word isn’t it
Chin…When I say that something is special to me I am assigning importance to it
Collarbone…In my mind, it doesn’t change the status of anything else
Under the Arm…If I were standing with another person and someone said the other person was special
Top of Head…I would wonder what was wrong with me that I wasn’t special too
Eyebrow…It is an interesting contrast
Side of Eye…I am open to knowing what this means
Under the Eye…O am open to experiencing “specialness” in a different way
Under the Nose…I resolve to be more careful in my allocation of specialness toward others so that feelings don’t get hurt
Chin…I’ve been taught that we are all special in God’s eyes
Collarbone…Then what does special mean
Under the Arm…I think in that case it just means that I am important to God
Top of Head…Am I ok with that definition
Eyebrow…No, not really
Side of Eye…But I am open to discovering more truth about this
Under the Eye…I choose to work to decrease my reliance on such arbitrary labels
Under the Nose…I choose to use labels, such as special, more carefully
Chin…I choose to embrace my uniqueness without needing to be “special”
Collarbone…I choose to embrace the uniqueness of others
Under the Arm…I do not need to diminish others in order to feel good about myself
Top of Head…I choose to think and act in ways that allow me to feel good about myself.
Take a deep breath and release it gently. Has anything shifted? I know I have a lot more work to do on this need to be or feel special but I did feel something shift when I did the tapping and it felt good.