One of the most unsatisfying answers to a question is “it depends.” Of course it makes perfect sense, but it doesn’t often bring the feeling of closure I’m seeking. When I Googled “it depends” I found this, used to express uncertainty or qualification in answering a question. They offered the example, “It depends. There could be, and there could not be.” The Cambridge Dictionary wasn’t much better. “Something is not decided yet or can change according to a particular thing.” It is no wonder that this answer is not satisfying. It really doesn’t seem like much of an answer at all.
Humans (particularly me) generally crave certainty. It helps us feel safe and secure. The ability to make accurate predictions about what will or won’t happen is essential to that feeling of security, and provides us with a sense of control. CONTROL, one of my favorite words. When it depends enters into the equation my feeling of control dwindles quickly. I’m keenly aware that control is really just a perception, but it is a perception I really like.
I have been trying, with varying amounts of success, to embrace uncertainty. My success depends on how many other factors the outcome might depend upon. If I plan to go to the pool but it rains, I can switch to a different activity pretty easily, knowing that swimming outside depends on the weather. But when something depends on the actions or behaviors of another person, or depends on a factor that isn’t obvious to me I have more difficulty.
Clint Eastwood, in Heartbreak Ridge quoted the Navy Seal motto, “Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome.” Who doesn’t want to look and feel as confident as Clint Eastwood or a Navy Seal? I have heard an adaptation of this “Improvise, Adapt, Overcome, then Adapt Again.” I try to keep that motto in mind when I am facing something with obvious uncertainty or too many “it depends” options. When I enter into something acknowledging that I may need to be flexible it works better than assuming it will all work the way I wanted or intended it to.
What are your favorite tips or techniques for remaining calm in uncertainty? Please share them.
