If you perceive all instances where you were not successful as failure, you are probably pretty miserable. Most people do not get something right the first time. Most people do not evey get it all right the second time. Do you think that Edison invented the light bulb on his first try? If he had decided not to try to second, third, and hundredth time because he had “failed” we would all still be living in the dark.
It is not true that not trying protects you from failure either. Not trying could be perceived as failure. Further, there is no truth to the belief that failure leads to embarrassment. It is time to challenge that automatic thought.
Tapping is a great tool to use to change this type of thinking.
Say the following statement aloud. “If I don’t try, I don’t risk the embarrassment of failure.” Rate how true you believe this statement is on a 0-10 scale where 10 = completely true, and write it down.
Repeat this statement three times while tapping gently on the karate chop point. “Even though I believe I can avoid the embarrassment of failure by not trying anything – I choose to love, forgive, and accept myself and all of my limiting beliefs.”
Eyebrow – I don’t want to feel embarrassed
Side of Eye – And I will feel embarrassed if I fail
Under the Eye – So I keep myself safe by not trying at all
Nose – But it doesn’t really keep me safe
Chin – And it doesn’t avoid failure
Collarbone – And I am embarrassed anyway
Under the Arm – I believe I will fail
Top of Head – I know I will fail
Eyebrow – I can predict the future
Side of Eye – My failure is certain
Under the Eye – My failure is absolute
Nose – No it’s not!
Chin – Not trying is failure too
Collarbone – It is safe to try
Under the Arm – I can be successful
Top of Head – I KNOW I can take risks and succeed
Take a deep breath and check the intensity of your original statement. “If I don’t try, I don’t risk the embarrassment of failure.” Rate the truth of the statement again on the 0-10 scale. Continue tapping with these or similar statements until your rating is quite low (below 3).
What happens inside you when you think about the number of times you have “failed” at something before? Is it a negative feeling? Is it a positive feeling? Is it neutral? My hope for you is that it is either neutral or positive, but I suspect you will really feel more negative. I know that my response is usually negative.
So you have “failed”. I say GOOD! That means you have tried something. Do you have a number in your head for how many times it is okay to fail at something before you should give up? Is that number the same as the number of times that you think it is okay for other people to try something before they give up? If there is a difference, try to understand why. It will likely be another belief that you will want to tap on in the future. Be sure to write it down in your tapping journal for later if you don’t have time right now.