Isshin, Mushin, and Zanshin

Image of tree inside glass ballI’m a planner.  In fact, my standard mode of operation has always been to try to anticipate every possible complication or contingency and plan for it.  I’m the classic “if he does this, then I’ll do this” kind of girl.  Since beginning to study the principles of martial arts I’ve been intrigued by the possibility of letting go of such rigid thinking. In theory it sounds like a great idea. In terms of fighting or martial arts it even makes some sense to me.  I had the opportunity to test this a while back in my real life.

The best part of this story for me is….I didn’t pre-plan it. It wasn’t one of those times when I said, “hey I think I’ll see how these principles would work here.”  I was scheduled for a meeting with a lot of different professional people.  In the past these meetings have always felt quite adversarial. I’ve always gone into the meeting wearing my very best power suit and armed to the teeth with copies of the current applicable legal statues, braced for a fight. Typically I would have spent the night before rehearsing in my mind everything that I thought I should say and appropriate responses for any and all objections.

I woke up on the morning of the meeting and had actually forgotten that the meeting was scheduled. I put on a rather feminine (aka “girlie”) dress and went to work. There was only a slight moment of panic when I realized I was deviating from my plan. On the way to the meeting several things happened that weren’t in my game plan, including a change of meeting location and awful traffic. During that drive I reflected briefly on what my desired outcome was and set my intention to reach that goal.

When I arrived in the room I spent a few minutes listening to the mood of the other individuals that had arrived. I paid some attention to the energy that each was giving off. Normally I would have just assumed them all to be hostile. What I found was that most of the people in the room had the same objective that I did. I made a mental note. I also chose to position myself nearest the person who was most likely to be my major opponent. Again, this was in sharp contrast to anything I might have done before.

When my adversary attacked (verbally) I countered. I relied on my previous experience and training to allow me to respond, not some pre-orchestrated response. This worked so well I was amazed. Each time there was a new objection or a diversion I focused again primarily on my objective. I was able to adapt and continue working toward what I believed was the inevitable goal.

The meeting actually went well and my objectives were met. In the past I would have turned tail and literally run away. Instead I stayed and connected with the individuals that were present and made sure that there wouldn’t be any stray items to deal with later.

While all of this was happening I certainly wasn’t thinking of Isshin, Mushin, and Zanshin. It wasn’t until I was driving back to my office that it occurred to me that my meeting is some ways paralleled these principles. I was very excited. While I have studied martial arts principles in the dojo, I was excited to experience the principles in the rest of my world.

Today I Faced The Marshmallow Fluff, and I Lost

This story came from Linda.  She said that she was tired, frustrated, and irritable after her difficult day.  As any good food addict will do – she turned to food.  She wasn’t proud of it, but that day she had faced the marshmallow fluff and it won.  Here is the way we started tapping.  Feel free to tap along.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup: (tapping the karate chop point) Even though I gave into temptation and ate marshmallow fluff by the spoonful today, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though I ate marshmallow fluff in response to being tired and frustrated, I choose to view myself with love and compassion. Even though I ate marshmallow fluff in secret so nobody would know, I choose to get back on track right now.

Eyebrow…I ate marshmallow fluff

Side of Eye…First I put some on my brownie

Under the Eye…Then I ate some on a spoon with some peanut butter

Nose…Then I just ate it off a spoon without anything else

Chin…Knowing that I still have these behaviors makes me feel so defeated sometimes

Collarbone…I wasn’t really hungry, but I was craving something sweet

Under the Arm…It was here, easy, and easy to hide

Top of Head…I didn’t eat enough to do a lot of damage to my diet

Eyebrow…But I did damage my confidence

Side of Eye…I also know that once I start, it is sometimes hard to stop

Under the Eye…It’s good to know that I can tap on that issue too if I need to

Nose…I am angry with myself for eating the fluff

Chin…I’m disappointed with myself for eating the fluff

Collarbone…I feel like a failure

Under the Arm…I feel like a fraud

Top of Head…The fluff won, and I hate that

In this case we just started where she was at the time.  The words of the setup statement state the truth of what happened, but also state where she wanted to end up –acceptance and able to get back on track. It wouldn’t have been beneficial to pretend that it didn’t happen.  During the rest of the tapping the behaviors were described but also some of the negative self talk about eating the fluff.  This part can be expanded to cover all of the feelings that come up.

For Linda it didn’t really take more than this.  As soon as she acknowledged the behavior and expressed her feelings about it while tapping she experienced considerable relief.  She told me later that she did additional tapping on the specific feeling of being a failure at another time and was able to get clarity and relief there too.

As you can see, the tapping doesn’t have to be complicated.  You just have to get started.

Tapping Video: I’m Not Smart Enough

old books side by side on library shelfSometimes reading and studying ancient texts can seem daunting or even impossible.  I like to use tapping to break down the barriers that keep us from being able to explore new or complex ideas.  In the video below I demonstrate tapping on not feeling smart enough and the automatic negative thought of never going to be able to “get it.”  Feel free to tap along.

Book Review – The Third Plate

What do Eight Row Flight, worms, foie gras, mullet, and soil all have in common? They are all things that I couldn’t have imagined in a million years that I would read about or even care about. But, since reading The Third Plate: Field Notes on the Future of Food by Dan Barber I do care.  And frankly, I wish I could go back to my state of ignorance is bliss.  Reading this book will forever change the way you look at food, farming, and consumerism.

I received this book as an advance uncorrected proof through a www.goodreads.com giveaway. Like many of the giveaways, I’m not sure what drew me to the book. When it arrived in the mail I put it on the shelf for later, mostly because it was visually intimidating. It isn’t a small book and there are very few pictures or diagrams. It just felt overwhelming. Fortunately looks CAN be deceiving. It reads quite easily and although it contains a great deal of technical information it didn’t really cause the book to bog down for me. I have already passed it along to a friend.  It was really that informative and good to read.

After finishing the book I made some life changes and have continued to incorporate the information into my life.  The book confirmed what I already knew – fresh produce from an organic garden tastes better than the store-bought produce (even the organic stuff).  Now I know why, companion planting and crop rotations. I also have suspicions about the origins of my food allergies and gluten issues.  I found it difficult to read about the corn, wheat, and soy because, in my mind I have vilified these substances as culprits in my own health issues. The realization that the grains I have consumed have no real resemblance to REAL corn, wheat, and soy and that this imposter phenomenon is what has made me sick actually makes me quite angry. I’m pretty sure that my consumption of meat will continue to decrease and change.

The book speaks to the conceptual and global issues related to farm-to-table eating and sustainable agriculture; however, it leaves me feeling very challenged about how to put this knowledge into practice.  Short of growing my entire food supply myself (not feasible), I don’t know the best way to move forward on some of these issues. Imagine the look on your grocer’s face when you ask not only how fresh the fish is, but also where it was caught and how it was killed. Or better yet, ask what was grown in the field along with my tomato.  And by the way, what crop was grown in that field the previous year?

I highly recommend that you read the book. Maybe your food habits will change. Maybe they won’t.  But I am certain that your view of food WILL change.

Book Review – Energy Tapping for Trauma

Energy Tapping for Trauma by Fred Gallo book cover from amazon.comEnergy Psychology has the power to revolutionize healing. Nowhere is that more evident that in the field of trauma recovery. In the book Energy Tapping for Trauma, as he has with all of his books, Dr. Gallo has included enough technical data and research to satisfy the skeptic, sufficient case summaries to encourage the hesitant, and step-by-step exercises for those who are ready for relief.

The various Energy Psychology techniques presented in this volume will be useful for traumas big and small.  had a bad day? Try the Simple Trauma Technique.  Are you the victim of natural disaster or war? Consider the Trauma Removal Technique. There really is something here for everyone and every situation.

I’ve been using some of these techniques for years and I am a living testament to their benefit. Now I am excited to expand my practice with these other techniques.  Dr. Gallo’s work in this field has made relief as close at hand as our fingertips.  Get busy and start healing your trauma now.

Why All of the Book Reviews?

Book shelves full of colorful books that could be used for bibliotherapyThanks for the question.  The quick answer is that I’m addicted to books.  The long answer is that I believe strongly in bibliotherapy.

The term bibliotherapy may be relative modern; however, the concept of using books for healing is reportedly as old as the sign of the anxiety Grecian library at Thebes which translates as, “the healing place of the soul.”  In the 1930s Dr. Karl Menninger and Dr. William Menninger advocated the use of books within the psychotherapeutic process.

Pardek, an expert in bibliotherapy, defined it as a dynamic interaction which occurs between the personality of the reader and the literature. Others define bibliotherapy as the use of literary work in the treatment of emotional and physical problems.

Bibliotherapy has many uses including:

  • To gain insight into a problem
  • To provide relaxation and diversion
  • To stimulate discussion of problems
  • To encourage one to focus outside of one’s self

NOTE: Books are not a substitute for the therapists’ time and are not to be considered a shortcut.

When you walk through a bookstore or browse online you will likely notice a very large section of books labeled psychology or self-help. Many of these books may be recommended by a therapist during treatment. Bibliotherapy is not limited to that section of books alone. Biographies, novels, non-fiction, comic books, and children’s books may also be used to stimulate growth and wellness. The use of movies and videos has also gained popularity in achieving the same goals.

You can be sure more book reviews are coming……Happy Reading.

Tapping Video: How To Deal With A Chocolate Craving

person's face covered in chocolate to symbolize chocolate cravingCravings can be intense.  Sometimes I’ve been successful with willpower to resist a craving.  More often than not, I haven’t.  That picture really says it all.  When I want chocolate I want it now, I want a lot of it, and I have had fantasies of swimming in a vat of it. Join in with me while I use meridian tapping to address a strong craving for chocolate and a feeling of resistance about even doing the tapping – because I know it works.

Book Review – The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body Confidence

Book Cover of The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss and Body ConfidenceOK.  I’ll admit it.  It was hard for me to read The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence: a Woman’s Guide to Stressing Less, Weighing Less, and Loving More by Jessica Ortner.  It was even harder for me to like it.  But honestly – its great.  I feel the need to explain, I had just written and published a book on tapping and weight loss too when her’s came out called Don’t Diet: Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping. I was definitely feeling defensive and book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tappingbelieved that the release of her book would have a negative impact on my book.  Actually it might have, but that’s not really the point.  I did what I try to always do when I have negative emotions – I started tapping.

Once I had tapped enough to feel comfortable that there is room enough in this world for two books on tapping and weight loss I dove in.  You might even say that I “devoured” it.  It is written in the same charismatic style that all of the materials from The Tapping Solution are written in.  It would be hard to resist smiling at the all-too-honest accounts of self-doubt, overindulgence (food and guilt) and insecurity that Jessica shares.  I definitely could relate.

The tapping examples were fantastic, although I would have preferred a few more. The book design and page layout are enviable. The quotes were inspirational and the stories of real women and their struggles were motivational. If there are any negatives (and I’m not sure that there are) one would be the title. There are so many words on the cover that it was difficult to know what the title was without turning to the copyright page. Also, the topic of self-sabotage or psychological reversal was not highlighted as much as I might have expected given the type of challenge being addressed.

Will I read it again?  Already did.

Will I recommend it to others? Absolutely.  Have even bought copies for gifts.

The book is attractive, informative, inspirational, and potentially life changing.

Tapping Video: Worried About What Others Will Think

Three people in meeting worried about what each other is thinkingDo you worry more about what others think than what you think? Do you let your beliefs about what others might think make your decisions for you?  Would you like to listen to your own inner guidance rather than abdicating your decisions to others? Tap along with the video to gain clarity about the problem and to start the process of change.

 

Tao Te Ching, Holy Bible, and Abraham Lincoln

Book cover of Tao Te Ching: The Definitive Edition by Lao Tzu from amazon.comI have been reading Tao Te Ching: The Definitive Edition by Lao Tzu, translated by Jonathan Star for quite a while now.  Sounds like light lunch time reading, doesn’t it?  In the introduction I was struck with the similarity between the Tao Te Ching and the Holy Bible.  Please hear me out.  The first similarity was the difficulty in preserving a knowledge base that was primarily oral.  Both the Tao Te Ching and the stories of the Holy Bible were oral traditions that were written down at a later time.  There are many similar challenges including the writer’s own biases when hearing and re-telling a story, the political and cultural influences of the time, language translation issues, and poor memory. Have you ever played telephone? By the time you get even 2-3 people deep into the retelling of a message it can often be significantly altered, not just in the details, but in the real message of the story.

The second similarity that struck me was the question of whether picture of open Biblethe story or phrase was intended to be literal or illustrative. This quandary is often evident in Bible stories and there is considerable discord between the factions that believe that everything is literal and those who believe it is a figurative lesson meant to inspire or teach.

A third similarity was that reading the verses of the Tao Te Ching elicits more questions that the answers provided. That has often been my experience when reading from the Bible. I can easily generate long lists of “but what about…?” from either book.

You may be wondering where Abraham Lincoln fits in all of this. Abraham Lincoln statueAs I was thinking about writing this post I recalled an event many years ago when my older son, then about 3 or 4, was almost inconsolable when he asked me about the man whose face was on the penny. I told him about Abraham Lincoln, and he asked me where he was. I explained that he had been killed many years ago.  My son began crying. When asked why he was crying he stated, “because I’ll never get to know him.” That is also the truth of the Tao Te Ching and the Holy Bible.  We will never really know.

As seekers of truth and wisdom we can make best guesses, sit in meditation, engage in prayer, and evaluate the cumulative knowledge of others, but we will never really know. For me it does feel sad.  So much has been lost.

Beyond the wisdom of the texts, what can I learn from this?

  • Don’t assume that others will remember my stories accurately
  • If it is important, I should write it down
  • It is my responsibility to share the stories of my “tribe”, culture, and my life. No one else can really do it.
  • If I want to know the stories and beliefs of my ancestors, I need to ask while they are still here and able to share them with me. I wait at my own peril.