I Don’t Want To

Kettle bells to represent exerciseDo you ever have a plan for when you are going to exercise, but when the time comes, you don’t really feel like it?  It happens to me all the time. This is the meridian tapping I have used before getting on the bike or treadmill. I hope it inspires you.

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping on the karate chop point): Even though it is time to exercise right now, and I don’t want to, I honor and respect my thoughts about this. Even though It’s time to exercise right now, and I don’t want to, I honor and respect my feelings about this. Even though its time to exercise right how, and I don’t want to, I honor and respect myself anyway.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…It is time to exercise

Side of Eye…And I don’t want to

Under the Eye…Thats ok

Under the Nose…I don’t always have to want to do something

Chin…There might be a good reason

Collarbone…And I am open to clarity

Under the Arm…This might also be an excuse

Top of Head…And I am open to clarity

Eyebrow…This might also be self-sabotage

Under the Eye…Not wanting to do something isn’t such a big deal

Under the Nose…I can choose to exercise right now anyway

Chin…I can choose to exercise later

Collarbone…I can listen to my inner guidance and decide if I will exercise or not

Under the Arm…I choose to make this decision with love and respect for my feelings

Top of Head…I choose to make this decision with love and respect for myself.

 

The hard part of this tapping is actually doing it.  Even those it is short it is usually enough to get me back on track.  Unfortunately part of the issue could be self-sabotage. In that case I can be very resistant to doing the tapping because I know it will actually work.

Give it a try and let me know how it worked for you.

Setting Boundaries

brown wooden fence to illustrate setting boundariesWhy is it so hard to set boundaries with other people?

This is something that I have struggled with most of my life.  For me, setting boundaries gets all mixed up with religious teachings about loving other people, societal values, and the general admonition to be nice.  Intellectually I know that one can set boundaries without being mean.  Emotionally, it usually still feels mean.  Try this tapping.

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (tapping karate chop point):  Even though I find it hard to set boundaries with other people, I deeply and completely accept myself and all of my feelings.  Even though I have found it hard to set boundaries with other people in the past, I accept myself and all of my feelings about this.  Even though I find it hard to set boundaries with other people, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and am looking forward to feeling better about this in the future.

 

Eyebrow…I find it hard to set boundaries with other peoplediagram of the tapping points

Side of Eye…I get all nervous

Under the Eye…And I feel it in the pit of my stomach

Under the Nose…And my jaw tightens up

Chin…Even worse, sometimes I stutter

Collarbone…When I do set boundaries, I’m usually very mad

Under the Arm…Then I’m more aggressive than assertive

Top of Head…Or a total basket case

Eyebrow…That’s not really setting boundaries with others

Side of Eye…That is just reacting

Under the Eye…I want to learn more about why it has been hard for me

Under the Nose…I think I’m afraid they won’t like me

Chin…There have been times when I’ve said no

Collarbone…And sometimes it works well

Under the Arm…And sometimes people react badly

Top of Head…I can’t really control other people’s reactions

Eyebrow…And by not setting boundaries, I’m attempting to feel like I’m in control

Side of Eye…But it is really false control

Under the Eye…Because my needs aren’t being met

Under the Nose…I’m looking forward to catching myself in this unhealthy pattern more often

Chin…So that I can observe it and change it

Collarbone…I am open to understanding my motivations in each situation

Under the Arm…I am open to learning new ways to set boundaries with other people

Top of Head…I am looking forward to respecting my own needs while still respecting other people.

 

This tapping sequence is just a jumping off point.  One way to take this further is to tap while telling the story about a specific time that you had trouble setting boundaries.  Include what happened, the thoughts in your head at the time if you remember, the feelings that were present during the event, the feelings that you have now when you think about the event, and even how you wished you might have handled it differently.  The more specific you get, the better the result.

Nothing Calms Me Down Better Than Food

picture of burger and fries to illustrate unhealthy eatingHow true is this statement for you?

NOTHING CALMS ME DOWN BETTER THAN FOOD!

Most days it is a 10 for me.  Try this tapping exercise and see if it helps.

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup: Nothing calms me down better than food. Whenever I get upset I turn to food. It always works for me. Even though nothing calms me down better than food, I don’t like what it does to my body. I am open to learning new ways of feeling calm. I’m also open to learning more about the things that upset me so that I don’t even need to use food to calm myself.

 

Eyebrow…when I get upset, nothing calms me down better than fooddiagram of the tapping points

Side of Eye…when I get upset, nothing calms me down faster than food

Under the Eye…when I get upset, nothing calms me down better than food

Nose…when I get upset, nothing calms me down faster than food

Chin…when I get upset, nothing calms me down better than food

Collarbone…when I get upset, nothing calms me down faster than food

Under the Arm…when I get upset, nothing calms me down better than food

Top of Head…when I get upset, nothing calms me down faster than food

Eyebrow…Food calms me down

Side of Eye…but it also makes me fat

Under the Eye…when I get upset, nothing calms me down better than food

Nose…And I often need to calm down

Chin…I get upset pretty often

Collarbone…And I use food to calm down

Under the Arm…It is quick, easy, and painless

Top of Head…Well, maybe not painless

Eyebrow…Being overweight is definitely painful

Side of Eye…It is painful both physically and emotionally

Under the Eye…I probably need to learn new ways to deal with my emotions

Nose…Food is quick, but the side effects are long

Chin…I choose to learn to manage my stress in other ways

Collarbone…I can learn to calm myself another way

Under the Arm…Even though I have used food to calm myself in the past

Top of Head…I am excited that there is a possibility of learning a new way.

Just Be Me- Lessons from the Tao Te Ching

illustration for karate chop pointSetup: (tapping on the karate chop point) It is hard to just be me. We’re not human doings we are human beings.  I say that all the time to other people but I’m not sure how to apply it to myself.  I am very much a human doing.  Do. Do. Do. I know I need to spend time reflecting on who I am, rather than what I do. I seem to have lost the lesson that Katie (my daughter) taught me.  Being is enough. I choose to love and accept myself – my being.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…Just be

Side of Eye…Just be here and fully present in this moment

Under the Eye…I don’t have to dwell in the past all of the time

Under the Nose…I don’t have to anticipate the future all of the time

Chin…I want to practice being in the now

Collarbone…I don’t want to fill my NOW with business and activity

Under the Arm…I know I get confused sometimes and think that my value is based on what I do, not who I am

Top of Head…I’m able to remember that more often when thinking about other people than I do when thinking about myself

Eyebrow…Honestly, there is room for improvement all the way around

Side of Eye…Just be

Under the Eye…It’s tempting to ask, “just be what?”

Under the Nose…But that is missing the whole point

Chin…Just be me

Collarbone…In every minute of every day – be me

Under the Arm…It seems a little scary.   No it seems a lot scary.

Top of Head…But that’s ok.  I can be scared if that’s the way I really feel.  I’ll just be me.

Dieting is Getting Really Hard

Sometimes it is easy to eat a healthy diet, and other times — not so much!  Here is a tapping sequence I’ve used during those tougher times.

illustration for karate chop pointThe setup (tap on karate chop point).  This dieting is getting really hard. Anything that is this hard is probably too hard for me. Controlling my appetite is hard. Controlling my cravings is even harder than controlling my appetite. Planning ahead is hard. Avoiding sugary snacks is hard. Reading labels is hard. Eating a healthy diet is getting really hard.  I don’t want to do hard things.  I want everything to be easy. I feel like giving up because this is hard. I acknowledge my frustration. I acknowledge my fatigue. I acknowledge my cravings. I acknowledge my appetite. I acknowledge my lack of energy and motivation. Most of all, I acknowledge that these feelings are okay and I’m okay.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…Dieting is really hard

Side of Eye…It’s too hard for me

Under the Eye…I feel like giving up

Nose…I want to eat more food than my body needs

Chin…I don’t want to plan ahead anymore

Collarbone…It is too much work

Under the Arm…It takes too much time

Top of Head…I want it to be easy

Eyebrow…I am really frustrated right now

Side of Eye…I am frustrated with my body

Under the Eye…I am frustrated with my metabolism

Nose…I am so tired of this

Chin…This dieting is so very hard

Collarbone…I am losing my motivation

Under the Arm…This dieting is getting really hard

Eyebrow…I don’t like these feelings

Side of Eye…I don’t believe I should really feel this way

Under the Eye…I’m supposed to enjoy everything all the time

Nose…There must be something wrong with me

Chin…I am trying

Collarbone…I haven’t given up yet

Under the Arm…These feelings are only temporary

Top of Head…It may be hard but I choose to remember that I am worth it.

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly.  Did anything shift for you?  I’d love some feedback on this.  Let me know how it worked for you.

 

Happy Tapping.

Hoarding or Stocking Up Leads to Scarcity, Not Abundance

What is your mindset?  Are you focused on scarcity or are you focused on abundance?

 

illustration for karate chop pointBegin by tapping on the karate chop point.  Setup: I have a tendency to hoard things. Not like hoarding you see on television, but I sure have trouble throwing things away.  Probably more important than that, I have the mindset that I need to save things in case things go wrong in the future. That mindset goes against what I know about the law of attraction. I know this must be a real issue for me because I don’t even want to look at it. I’ll take that as a sign that I have work to do on this.  I choose to at least begin looking at this issue. I accept myself. I accept my feelings. And I accept my reluctance too.

Eyebrow…I have issues with abundance and scarcity.

Side of Eye…These issues may really be holding me back.

Under the Eye…If I am really using energy anticipating bad things happening

Nose…I am creating those bad things to some extent

Chin…Worrying about worst case scenario is my primary mode

Collarbone…I’ve always thought that by being ready for the worst

Under the Arm…I could handle anything

Top of Head…It is overwhelming to think about how that may be impacting me in the long run

Eyebrow…It certainly has gotten in the way of me enjoying the moment as much as perhaps I could

Side of Eye…I want to embrace this concept more fully

Under the Eye…I suspect it is going to take quite a while for me to really make those changes in my way of interacting with life

Nose…But even small changes can have a big impact

Chin…I’m still feeling some resistance here

Collarbone…I choose to be patient with myself

Under the Arm…I can sit here and tap on this issue until I feel more calm

Top of Head…I can tap on this issue any time I need to

Take a deep breath and let it out.  What did you notice?  When I did this tapping originally a lot of interesting messages came up including things I heard and experienced in childhood, news stories, and information from classes I’ve taken that have led to my previous views on this topic.  If things came up for you, please write them down so you can continue tapping to release any negative beliefs that might be holding you back.

I Want To Be Special. Do You?

baby polar bear walking underneath grown up polar bearI think everyone wants to be special.  When I say that I want to be special it feels somehow WRONG.  There are all kinds of automatic negative thoughts that pop into my head when I say that.  Sometimes I hear specific people from my past telling me that I’m not special.  I thought I would share a tapping exercise that I used when caught in the confusion of wanting to be special but having an internal dialogue that it is wrong to want to be special.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (on the karate chop point): I really do want to be special. My thoughts get all jumbled when I try to sort out what I really mean by that. I can see that my desire to be special in some way may be an attempt to elevate myself above others, but that doesn’t feel like the truth to me. I am open to understanding this aspect of myself more.  Even though I sometimes feel that wanting to be special is somehow wrong, I chose to love myself and accept myself anyway.  Even though I have mixed messages about wanting to be special, I chose to love myself and offer forgiveness to myself and to anyone else that has purposefully or accidentally contributed to these feelings.

Eyebrow…I want to be special

Side of Eye…I want to feel special

Under the Eye…Sometimes all it takes is for someone to be kind to me and I feel special

Chin…In my more lucid times I know that their kindness is really about them, not about me

Collarbone…I just like thinking it is about me

Under the Arm…I want other people to sometimes put what I want above what is easy for them

Top of Head…That makes me feel like I am special

Eyebrow…At least special enough to go out of their way for

Side of Eye…But again, that shows more about them than it does about me

Under the Eye…I suspect that I sometimes confuse feeling loved with being special

Under the Nose…Special is a very interesting word isn’t it

Chin…When I say that something is special to me I am assigning importance to it

Collarbone…In my mind, it doesn’t change the status of anything else

Under the Arm…If I were standing with another person and someone said the other person was special

Top of Head…I would wonder what was wrong with me that I wasn’t special too

Eyebrow…It is an interesting contrast

Side of Eye…I am open to knowing what this means

Under the Eye…O am open to experiencing “specialness” in a different way

Under the Nose…I resolve to be more careful in my allocation of specialness toward others so that feelings don’t get hurt

Chin…I’ve been taught that we are all special in God’s eyes

Collarbone…Then what does special mean

Under the Arm…I think in that case it just means that I am important to God

Top of Head…Am I ok with that definition

Eyebrow…No, not really

Side of Eye…But I am open to discovering more truth about this

Under the Eye…I choose to work to decrease my reliance on such arbitrary labels

Under the Nose…I choose to use labels, such as special, more carefully

Chin…I choose to embrace my uniqueness without needing to be “special”

Collarbone…I choose to embrace the uniqueness of others

Under the Arm…I do not need to diminish others in order to feel good about myself

Top of Head…I choose to think and act in ways that allow me to feel good about myself.

Take a deep breath and release it gently.  Has anything shifted?  I know I have a lot more work to do on this need to be or feel special but I did feel something shift when I did the tapping and it felt good.

Today I Faced The Marshmallow Fluff, and I Lost

This story came from Linda.  She said that she was tired, frustrated, and irritable after her difficult day.  As any good food addict will do – she turned to food.  She wasn’t proud of it, but that day she had faced the marshmallow fluff and it won.  Here is the way we started tapping.  Feel free to tap along.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup: (tapping the karate chop point) Even though I gave into temptation and ate marshmallow fluff by the spoonful today, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though I ate marshmallow fluff in response to being tired and frustrated, I choose to view myself with love and compassion. Even though I ate marshmallow fluff in secret so nobody would know, I choose to get back on track right now.

Eyebrow…I ate marshmallow fluff

Side of Eye…First I put some on my brownie

Under the Eye…Then I ate some on a spoon with some peanut butter

Nose…Then I just ate it off a spoon without anything else

Chin…Knowing that I still have these behaviors makes me feel so defeated sometimes

Collarbone…I wasn’t really hungry, but I was craving something sweet

Under the Arm…It was here, easy, and easy to hide

Top of Head…I didn’t eat enough to do a lot of damage to my diet

Eyebrow…But I did damage my confidence

Side of Eye…I also know that once I start, it is sometimes hard to stop

Under the Eye…It’s good to know that I can tap on that issue too if I need to

Nose…I am angry with myself for eating the fluff

Chin…I’m disappointed with myself for eating the fluff

Collarbone…I feel like a failure

Under the Arm…I feel like a fraud

Top of Head…The fluff won, and I hate that

In this case we just started where she was at the time.  The words of the setup statement state the truth of what happened, but also state where she wanted to end up –acceptance and able to get back on track. It wouldn’t have been beneficial to pretend that it didn’t happen.  During the rest of the tapping the behaviors were described but also some of the negative self talk about eating the fluff.  This part can be expanded to cover all of the feelings that come up.

For Linda it didn’t really take more than this.  As soon as she acknowledged the behavior and expressed her feelings about it while tapping she experienced considerable relief.  She told me later that she did additional tapping on the specific feeling of being a failure at another time and was able to get clarity and relief there too.

As you can see, the tapping doesn’t have to be complicated.  You just have to get started.

Tapping Exercise: I hate situps

I really like the idea of exercise.  I feel good about myself after I do exercise.  But I don’t like ALL exercise equally.  I really hate situps (or pretty much any other core exercise).

illustration for karate chop pointStart tapping on your karate chop point and use the setup statements below.

Setup: I really hate situps. I know that working on our core is crucial to having good health.  I just can’t seem to make myself do them. Even though I really hate situps and rarely do any core strengthening exercises, I choose to love and accept myself anyway. Even though I have definitely neglected my core, I deeply and completely love and accept that part of myself that is at least trying to do what my body needs.  Even though I really hate situps, I choose to be amazed by how easy they could seem in the future.

Eyebrow…I hate situps

Side of Eye…I really hate situps

Under the Eye…They are hard for me

Nose…I know that strengthening my core muscles would be a good thing

Chin…I know that doing situps or other exercises would help me lose even more weight

Collarbone…But I have been unable to make myself do them in the past

Under the Arm…What if there is a way to actually feel good about doing them?

Top of Head…What if they don’t have to be awful?

Eyebrow…I could focus on hos good those muscles feel to actually receive some attention

Side of Eye…I could focus on how my waist measurement is changing as I am faithful with my workouts

Under the Eye…I could use my situp time to acknowledge everything that I have to be grateful for

Nose…I could use my core workouts as a time to send positive energy to situations and people who are important to me

Chin…I am open to feeling more positive about working on my core muscles

Collarbone…I am hopeful that I can feel more confident in my ability to do situps and other core exercises

Under the Arm…It really wouldn’t add that much more time to my daily workouts

Top of Head…And I am excited to think that this workout could make me feel and look even better.

Tapping Exercise: Who I Am is Constantly Changing

Black-eyed-susans with Embrace New Beginnings signSay this statement aloud, “Who I am is constantly changing.” How true does that feel to you?  Rate it on a scale of 0-10 (10=very true) and write down your number.

Begin tapping on the karate chop point and say the setup statements.

Setup: Sometimes I am confused about who I am. It seems that who I am is constantly changing. When I think I know something about myself it feels really good. When I’m uncertain about something I feel somewhat unbalanced. Accepting the changing nature of who I am is uncomfortable to me.  In spite of this discomfort, I choose to love, honor, and accept myself.

Eyebrow…Who I am is constantly changing

Side of Eye…And that is ok

Under the Eye…Who I am is constantly changing

Nose…I am open to learning to accept those changes more gracefully

Chin…Who I am is constantly changing

Collarbone…I am choosing to see that changing nature as more positive than negative

Under the Arm…Who I am is constantly changing

Top of Head…But sometimes it still makes me feel uncomfortable

Eyebrow…Who I am is constantly changing

Side of Eye…Sometimes that fills me with joy

Under the Eye…Who I am is constantly changing

Nose…Perhaps evolving would be a more comfortable word

Chin…Who I am is constantly changing

Collarbone…I choose to see the positive aspects of my changes

Under the Arm…Who I am is constantly changing

Top of Head…Expecting and accepting that change is part of the process of life

Eyebrow…Who I am is constantly changing

Side of Eye…My ideas and viewpoints change as I learn new things

Under the Eye…Who I am is constantly changing

Nose…My feelings and thoughts change as situations unfold

Chin…Who I am is constantly changing

Collarbone…I’d like to think that my wisdom is expanding

Under the Arm…Who I am is constantly changing

Top of Head…I deeply and completely love and accept myself and choose to embrace my evolution.