Wanting More Attention

This tapping seemed appropriate since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. It is a day that highlights both the good and the not so good about being in a relationhip. Although we seem to want intimate relationships, they can be quite stressful. This is an area where people tend to judge whether their feelings are justified PRIOR to deciding to tap. I urge you to begin tapping without judgement.

Say this statement aloud “My husband (boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, significant other, etc) never pays enough attention to me.” Rate the intensity on the 0-10 point scale and record your rating.

illustration for karate chop point

Tap on your karate chop point and repeat these setup statements. “Even though my husband doesn’t pay attention to me the way I want him to, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though my husband has been a selfish jerk lately and hasn’t paid much attention to me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I want more attention from my hsuband and I don’t know how to get it from him, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Side of Eye…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Under the Eye…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Under the Nose…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Chin…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Collarbone…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Under the Arm…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Top of Head…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. Continue with the following reminder phrases at each of the tapping spots

Eyebrow…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Side of Eye…And I need his attention

Under the Eye…It feels like he doesn’t care about me at all

Under the Nose…I do all kinds of things for him

Chin…But he doesn’t do anything for me

Collarbone…I know that is not really true

Under the Arm…He does things for me

Top of Head…Just not the things I want him to do right now

Eyebrow…I’m not getting what I want from him

Side of Eye…And, rather than tell him what I want

Under the Eye…I want him to guess

Under the Nose…That’s not working so well for me

Chin…I want his attention and I’m afraid to just ask for it

Collarbone…I wonder what it is that I really want or need right now?

Under the Arm…Asking for what I want or need is the best thing I could do

Top of Head…I feel relieved to realize that my husband does pay attention to me and I choose to feel empowered to ask to have my needs met.

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Check the intesnity of your original problem statement, “My husband never pays enough attention to me.” Notice any changes and make notes for future tapping. This is a complex topic and likely to need some additional tapping to resolve all of the aspects. This tapping is an adaptation of one found in Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT.

Not Feeling Respected Because of Politics

Believe it or not, this is a very old tapping exercise, but it seems appropriate for today’s social climate. It was included in a chapter about current stressors in my first book Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom with EFT. This tapping is about the intense emotions people experience when talking about politics.

Some people may actually be afraid to do this tapping because they equate the decrease in intense emotions with lack of conviction. Tapping on the intense emotions will not take away your conviction but it will allow for better control and more ease around others that may believe differently than you do.

The story begins with Joe, a normally reasonable and mild-mannered man who was having difficulty at family gatherings because his political views were radically different from those of other family members. Joe and his wife actually dreaded holidays such as Thanksgiving where there was extended contact that allowed ample time for such discussions. Joe really wanted to be able to control his emotions better when family members disagreed with him, failed to listen to his views, or even provoked him to just get a reaction. Tapping was a perfrect tool for the situation.

Is this scenario something you can relate to? Let’s tap.

Say this problem statement aloud, “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Rate the intensity (or truth) of this statement on a 0-10 scale (10 is very true). Write down your number.

illustration for karate chop point

Say these setup statements while tapping on the karate chop point: Even though I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I get really angry when other people don’t agree with my political views, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though it feels like other people aren’t respecting my political views when they disagree with me, and I don’t handle it very well, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and all of my feels on this subject.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views

Side of Eye…I get pretty upset when others disagree with my politics

Under the Eye…It is dangerous to discuss politics with anyone that doesn’t agree with my view

Under the Nose…Because I can’t handle it

Chin…I’m so sure that my political views are right

Collarbone…That I can’t handle it when anyone has a different opinion

Under the Arm…I can’t handle it when anyone can’t see the value of my political views

Top of Head…I can’t handle any challenge to my political views without getting very upset

Take a deep breath and let it out. Check the intensity of your original problem statement “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Record your new rating. Continue tapping with these statements until your intensity rating is low. Once your rating is below a 3 or 4, feel free to move on to the positive affirmation reminder phrases below.

Eyebrow…Even though I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views right now

Side of Eye…I am trying to maintain an open mind

Under the Eye…Even though I haven’t been able to handle it as well as I would like in the past

Under the Nose…I am open to feeling more comfortable with challenges to my views in the future

Chin…Even though I’m pretty convinced that I am right

Collarbone…I am trying to be okay with others’ opinions

Under the Arm…Even when I feel they are wrong

Top of Head…I love and respect my own views and calmly allow allows to have their views.

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. Check the intensity of your original problem statement “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Write down your new rating.

If politics is one of your stressors, be sure to notice what additional thoughts and feelings come up and write them down for future tapping. It may be important for you to tap on those additional issues.

Would you like more examples of tapping about every day stressors? Check out Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT.


I’m Afraid I Will Lose Control

Unfortunately I am no stranger to feeling out of control with food. It is a huge issue that I have not completely eliminated. Fortunately the fear of of losing control is something that rarely sneaks up on me, so when I first notice it I can usually find relief in tapping. What follows is a short tapping that you can use when you start to worry about losing control.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though I am afraid I will lose control if confronted with any of my favorite foods, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I am afraid that I will lose control and eat too much or eat foods that are not healthy for me, I choose to focus on loving myself and my healthy body instead. Even though I am afraid that I will lose control and eat like a pig, I choose to feel calm and confident, even twhen those comfort foods are readily available.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I am afraid I will lose control

Side of Eye…I am afraid I will eat like a pig

Under the Eye…I am afraid my food plan will go right out the window

Under the Nose…I can’t control myself around those foods

Chin…I am afraid I will lose control

Collarbone…I am afraid I will eat too much

Under the Arm…I am afraid I will eat unhealthy foods

Top of Head…I am afraid I will lose control

Continue with these or similar phrases until you feel relief

Did you benefit from this tapping? I’d love to hear about your success.

Want more tapping scripts? Check out Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping.

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

I Will Feel Deprived

Who likes the feeling of deprivation?  I certainly don’t.  Dread related to feeling deprived can stop people from making positive changes in their diet, particularly if they currently partake in something known to be less than healthy or even dangerous.  Today’s tapping is short, but is a starting place for addressing the fear of deprivation.

Say this statement aloud, “I will feel deprived if I cannot eat my favorite foods.”  How true does that feel to you?  Rate it on the 0-10 scale (10=is very strong or very true.)

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though I am afraid of how I will feel if I don’t eat my favorite foods. I choose to love and accept myself anyway. Even though I am sure I will feel deprived without my favorite foods, I am hopeful that I can find other sources of pleasure in my life.  Even though the fear of deprivation is very strong for me, I am beginning to consider small diet changes that will help me to be healthy and happy.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I feel deprived

Side of Eye…I want to eat my favorite foods

Under the Eye…I don’t want to feel deprived

Under the Nose…I need to eat or I will feel deprived

Chin…I will do anything to avoid that feeling

Collarbone…This deprivation

Under the Arm…Fear of deprivation

Top of Head…This strong feeling of deprivation

Say the original statement again, “I will feel deprived if I cannot eat my favorite foods?”  How true does that feel to you now?  Did specific foods pop in your mind?  Continue tapping about how it would feel to not eat those foods or to eat them less often.  Did your mind drift to specific thoughts, feelings, or sensations related to deprivation?  Continue tapping about how much you want to avoid those thoughts, feelings, and sensations. 

Remember you can find these and other tapping exercises to assist in your health and wellness in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

Questions or suggestions?  I’d love to hear from you.

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

Ants

Did you know that there are more than 10,000 ant species? I didn’t.  I knew that there were red ones, brown ones, black ones, ants that bite, and ants that don’t.  Ants are social insects and usually live in communities that have a queen ant.  The worker ants are female.  They have no wings, don’t reproduce, but have many duties within the colony such as foraging for food, caring for the queen’s baby ants, and protecting the community.  Male ants have only one job – making baby ants with the queen.  After they are done with that task they usually die.

Not very long ago I had an interesting infestation of ants in my kitchen.  Actually it really wasn’t an infestation with swarms of ants everywhere; it was more of a semi-constant trickle.  I did some cleaning and they seemed to be gone.  That lasted about 3 hours then I saw another one walking across the kitchen floor.  A few hours later I saw one walking across a kitchen counter.

I don’t harbor an intense dislike of ants and I don’t usually go out of my way to kill them if they are outside, but I don’t want them on my kitchen counters or in my drawers, and I don’t want to squish them under my bare feet when walking in the kitchen.  Since they broke our “agreement” to stay outside I decided to spray the baseboards to try to stop them from coming in.  That lasted for about 8 hours, then more ants.

While this ant battle was going on I was also having some struggles at work.  I felt that I was being treated as insignificant, not being allowed to exercise my own judgment and creativity, and just felt that I was generally not appreciated. ON the inside I was rebelling about all of this as was trying to assert my individualism within a culture that clearly doesn’t value that.

The ants kept coming and I continued to feel dissatisfied. One morning while doing my lap swim I had the thought, “what if the ants are acting as one of my totems?” I started thinking about the ant characteristics that I’ve been writing about and became even more sure of it.  I phoned a friend and shared my insight, thinking that it was hilarious that I had overlooked this possibility and quipped, “wouldn’t it be hysterical if the ants were gone when I get home?” After all, I had finally received the message about being industrious, fitting in, stamina, and perseverance.

When I got home the ants were indeed gone.  I’m sure that I have more work to do pertaining to managing employment while nurturing my own dreams. I am glad the ants were persistent and that I finally caught on.  It does make me wonder how many other times there have been animal totems willing to point me in the right direction, but I somehow missed out on getting the message.

Tapping Meditation

To get started, lets do a tapping meditation to get in touch with some of the characteristics associated with ants and to get ready for whatever messages ants might have for you.

diagram of the tapping points
Eyebrow Ant
Side of Eye Social
Under the Eye Ant
Under the Nose Colony
Chin Ant
Collarbone Solves complex problems
Under the Arm Ant
Top of Head Interactive
Eyebrow Ant
Side of Eye Industrious
Under the Eye Ant
Under the Nose Cooperative effort
Chin Ant
Collarbone Hard work
Under the Arm Ant
Top of Head Group-minded
Eyebrow Ant
Side of Eye Perseverance
Under the Eye Ant
Under the Nose Self discipline
Chin Ant
Collarbone Teamwork
Under the Arm Ant
Top of Head Orderly
Eyebrow Ant
Side of Eye Stamina
Under the Eye Ant
Under the Nose Honor
Chin Ant
Collarbone What message to you have for me?
Under the Arm Ant
Top of Head Open to the message of ants

Keep tapping while considering the knowledge, experiences, and meaning that the ant may have for you. Be sure to write down any thoughts, beliefs, or feelings that arise when you have finished the tapping meditation. Which characteristics of the ant would you want more of? Which characteristics do you have in abundance?

For me, the ant is a fairly neutral symbol.  I was raised on the image of ants being a nuisance when they visit a picnic.  I have also seen the painful bites or stings from fire ants.  I’ve been intrigued by ant hills and loved the movie Ants.  I even had an ant farm when I was growing up.

Ants are actually pretty important in Native American culture and lore. The Hope, Pueblo, and Akimal O’odham tribes have Ant Clans. The Cherokee celebrate with an Ant Dance.  In the Cahuilla creation myth ants spread the earth out for people and animals to live upon. In a Hopi myth the ant people provided shelter to the humans during the destruction of the First World.  The industriousness and cooperative spirit associated with ants is often the focus of these stories.

Ants are also a common feature in literature.  Ants are mentioned in the Bible and in the Quran.  Ants were featured in A Tramp Abroad by Mark Twain, The Once and Future King by T.H. White, Les Fourmis by Bernard Werber, and The Empire of the Ants by H.G. Wells.  Do you remember the cartoon Atom Ant?  Did you have an ant farm when you were growing up?  Did you play the game Ants in the Pants?  Maybe you are more familiar with the movies Antz by Dream Works Animation in which Z-4195 longs for the opportunity to express himself or the movie A Bugs Life from Pixar Animation Studios in which the misfit ant Flik fancies himself to be an individualist and inventor.

The above selection was from my upcoming book Unleash Your Primal Power: Totem Tapping for Health and Happiness.  If you read my first book Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT you might remember that there was a chapter devoted to using animal characterstics to guide tapping on personality characteristics and change. The upcoming book is an expansion of the concept.

Cover Image of Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT by Dr. Leanna Manuel

Food Is My Only Friend

As we continue our resolutions related to food, exercise, and health in 2019 we will continue to use tapping to increase our odds of success.  The next tapping exercise begins to address some of the emotional reasons we eat.  In this case it is the feeling that food is our friend.  For some people, food may feel like their only friend.

illustration for karate chop point

Say this statement aloud, “Food is my only friend.”  How true does that feel to you?  It may be a stronger feeling on some days than others.  Rate it on the 0-10 scale (10=is very strong or very true.)

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though it feels sometimes like food is my only friend, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.  Even though I eat junk food when I am lonely, and I am afraid of losing my only friend if I stop eating, I choose to find other ways to manage this feeling.  Even though it is terrifying to think of changing my relationship with my food/friend.  I am open to a new way of being.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…Food is my friend

Side of Eye…How can I give that up?

Under the Eye…Sometimes I think food is my only friend

Under the Nose…I have no idea what I would do instead of eating when I feel lonely

Chin…Even the thought makes me want to eat more

Collarbone…Food feels like my best friend

Under the Arm…Everyone wants a best friend

Top of Head…And it’s always there when I need it

Eyebrow…Food never lets me down

Side of Eye…I always feel better when I eat ice cream or chocolate

Under the Eye…At least for a little while

Under the Nose…Later I feel pretty bad

Chin…I am open to others ways of handling these feelings

Collarbone…Food is just food

Under the Arm…It is ok to enjoy it, but I can learn how to handle these other feelings in different ways

Top of Head…Feelings are just feelings, and I can handle them.

Say the original statement again, “Food is my only friend.”  How true does that feel to you now?  Did other thoughts or feelings come up?  Did you find yourself arguing with any of the statements?  Those are great opportunities to continue your tapping on this issue until the truth of the original statement is very low.

Remember you can find these and other tapping exercises to assist in your health and wellness in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping. 

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

Questions or suggestions?  I’d love to hear from you.

I Can’t Be Rational About Food

Are you still on the path for improved health and wellness in 2019?  Is the resolution still firmly in mind?  Hopefully our last tapping was a good starting point for managing the barriers to success.  One of the things that came up for me when thinking about my love-hate relationship with food was the quality of my thinking.  I’m just not very rational when I think about food.  That is what today’s tapping is about. Say this statement: “I have trouble thinking about food in a rational way.”  How true is that for you on the 0-10 scale (10=very rue).

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (karate chop point): Even though I have trouble thinking about food in a rational way, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  Even though food is a highly emotional subject for me, I am working toward a different way of relating to food, meals, and eating.  Even though I have an emotional reaction to food, I love and accept myself, knowing that I am a work in progress.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I get irrational about food

Side of Eye…Thinking about food makes me emotional

Under the Eye…Thinking about not having certain foods makes me emotional

Under the Nose…Thinking about limiting certain foods makes me emotional

Chin…Everything about food and eating makes me emotional

Collarbone…And don’t say the word diet to me

Under the Arm…I am working on changing these emotional responses

Top of Head…I look forward to seeing food in a new way.

Now say that beginning statement again, “I have trouble thinking about food in a rational way.”  Rate it again on the 0-10 scale.  Was there any change?  It may have gone up, gone down, or stayed the same.  The relative change is new information to use in your tapping.  Here are some suggestions to make it more powerful.

  1. Substitute a particular food instead of the word “food” to make it more specific if there is a food or group of foods that brings the strongest emotional reaction.
  2. Tap while thinking about how much you believe you would miss a particular food
  3. Tap while using your original rating number, “This 9-feeling in my gut when I think about not eating _____”
  4. If you are feeling particularly impatient with the slow progress….tap about your lack of patience with an affirmation about being a work in progress.
book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

Remember you can find these and other tapping exercises to assist in your health and wellness in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping.  I’d love to hear back from you about your successes or to answer any questions.

I Have a Love-Hate Relationship With Food

It is a new year and many people, myself included, have an intention to do something positive related to diet, exercise, or health in the new year. Unfortunately, that forward momentum lasts for only a short time. I’ve heard it is an average of only 12 days. With tapping, I think we can do a lot better than that. Ready to get started? A good place for me to start is my love-hate relationship with food.

illustration for karate chop point

The Setup: (karate chop point) Even though I have this love-hate relationship with food, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even thgough I love food, but I hate what it does to my body, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though my relationship wtih food and with my body is quite problematic for me at times, I deeply and completely flove myself and accept all of these feelings.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I have a love/hate relationship with food

Side of Eye…This love/hate relationship with food

Under the Eye…I hate what my love of food sometimes does to my body

Under the Nose…I love food but I hate my body

Chin…I hate food but I love my body

Collarbone…This love/hate relationship with food

Under the Arm…Even though I have this love/hate relationship with food

Top of Head…I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway

You might be thinking that this was pretty short and didn’t change anything. You would likely be correct. This is just a starting point. Think of it as the diving board where you are poised to jump/dive off. If you were really paying attention to the words they likely caused you to react in some way, whether to agree or to balk. That is where the magic of this tapping exercise can be found. Continue to tap at the points while stating aloud all of those things that popped in your head.

Check back frequently for more tapping exercises to keep you in alignment with your health goals and check out the book Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping if you want more examples so you can move forward with more confidence.


book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

Preparing for Weight Loss – New Year’s Resolution – Part III

weight loss - apple with tape measureThis is it, the conclusion of this series designed to help you prepare for successful weight loss when you consider make your New Year’s Resolution. Are you ready to put it all together?  I know that I am

Step Five:

What is your emotional or energetic response to the following words, phrases, and statements.  Rate each one on the 1-10 SUDs scale with 10 being very true or very strong.

I don’t deserve to lose weight. Rating It is not safe for me to lose weight Rating
Deprivation Rating Failure Rating
I’ll just regain the weight Rating I don’t believe I can change Rating
Lonely Rating Unlovable Rating
Sexy Rating Security Rating
Expectations Rating It’s too late Rating
I want them to love me for who I am, not what I look like Rating Sugar Addict Rating
Cravings Rating Obsessions Rating
Irritable Rating Anxious Rating
Lazy Rating Resentment Rating

 

Each of these words or statements that caused a reaction for you is a potential item that is holding you back from your weight loss success and can be addressed through tapping.

Take out your lists that you made.  Follow the example above and make an intensity rating for your top reasons for losing weight, the cons of losing weight, the benefits of not losing weight, and any automatic thoughts about diet, exercise, or weight loss.

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian TappingNow you are ready to do some life-changing tapping. If you are having trouble getting started, consider checking out the book Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping.  It has 229 examples of tapping based on this process.  You can also keep reading the blog posts as I tackle some of my own food, diet, and exercise hang-ups.

 

Remember the basic formula.

  1. Make a statement that describes what needs to change.
  2. Rate the emotional intensity associated with that statement
  3. Repeat a setup statement or statements while tapping the karate chop point
  4. Tap on the meridians using the tapping points while using a reminder statement
  5. Repeat the original statement
  6. Rate the intensity again.

Your statements don’t have to be fancy.  The standard setup statement of –

“Even though (insert thought or feeling) I deeply and completely love and accept myself” –

Is a good one and works well.  Then for the reminder statement just say the thought or feeling at each point or shorten it to just a few key words.

 

For a video demonstrating the whole tapping process click here.

 

Happy Tapping.

Preparing for Weight Loss – New Year’s Resolution – Part II

Welcome back to our tapping about weight loss and getting ready to be successful in our New Year’s Resolutions.  Take out those lists from last time.  You should have a list of the top 10 reasons for wanting to change your weight and a list of the cons or down-side to weight loss.  Next we are going to consider the positive things we associate with being overweight.  I can hear everybody screaming that there is nothing positive, but stay with me.

Step Three:

If someone were to ask you what you get out of being overweight, you might be tempted to punch them.  Of course you don’t get anything out of being overweight – or do you? Being overweight does have advantages for some people.  Our excess weight can serve as a protection from other people or from our own sexuality.  Keeping the excess weight also allows us to maintain the status quo rather than risk the possibility of frustration and failure. For some people, being overweight serves as a connection to current family members and to generations past.  When you hear someone say “All of the women in my family have been heavy” that is a strong statement of identification that could be lost if the individual was to lose weight.  These conscious and unconscious benefits of being overweight can have a tremendous impact on your energy system and can be sufficient to stop a weight loss effort.  Be brutally honest and write down the positive things that are associated with being overweight.

Step Four:

Automatic thoughts, often negative, are just that – automatic.  They pop into our minds and have a tremendous impact, not only on our current mood but also on our energy system.  What thoughts pop into your mind when you hear or think about the words diet, exercise, or weight loss? Write them down in as much detail as you possible can.

Put those lists back in a safe place. In the final article in this series we will use those lists to pull it all together into a very effective tapping plan to boost your success.