Finding the Meaning in Everyday Life

I’m Not Good At It

An earlier post described one of my excuses that it takes too long. Today’s post addresses a second excuse “I’m not good at it.”If you’ve been following along you know that I have a resistance to meditation even though I know all of the benefits, have recommended it to others, and generally believe it would be a good thing in my life.

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I’m not good at meditation, I’m okay. Even though I’m not good at meditation, and I have lots of examples to support that, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and my belief that I have to be good at everything I do. Even though I’m not good at meditation, I choose to relax and go with the flow.

Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation

Side of Eye…And I’ve got proof

Under the Eye…As soon as I sit to meditate something hurts

Under the Nose…And that distracts me

Chin…And I have to move to make it stop hurting

Collarbone…And then when that stops hurting

Under the Arm…Then something else starts to hurt

Top of Head…So I never get anything accomplished by trying to meditate

Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation

Side of Eye…I get a serious case of monkey brain

Under the Eye…The thoughts in my head seem to actually speed up

Under the Nose…Until there are no gaps between them

Chin…It could be my to-do list

Collarbone…It could be random things like why grapes come in so many different colors

Under the Arm…Or trying to decide what book I want to read next

Top of Head…So I never get anything accomplished when I try to meditate

Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation

Side of Eye…A lot of the time if I am too comfortable I fall asleep

Under the Eye…While that may address the relaxation part of meditation

Under the Nose…It does nothing to help with learning to control my mind

Chin…And isn’t that the point of it all?

Collarbone…I seem to have a lot of rules and expectations about meditation for myself

Under the Arm…That I don’t have for anyone else

Top of Head…And they are getting in my way

Eyebrow…Monkey Brain is just part of the process

Side of Eye…And so are the distractions coming from my body

Under the Eye…I know I am not supposed to judge them

Under the Nose…But I definitely do

Chin…I judge the distractions and I judge myself for having them

Collarbone…I think it is time for a different approach

Under the Arm…I’ve done long weekends of meditation before

Top of Head…And they were generally miserable

Eyebrow…But it doesn’t have to miserable when I meditate on my own

Side of Eye…There are no rules

Under the Eye…Unless I make them

Under the Nose…I could choose to take a gentler approach

Chin…And I could even redefine what being good at meditation means

Collarbone…I like that idea. I could define being good at meditation with being consistent

Top of Head…Beginning today, being good at meditation simply means doing meditation.

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Those Same 5 Pounds

Have you lost the same 5, 10, or 15 pounds over and over again? You work really hard to get them off, yet you seem to gain them back almost over night. Then, you do it all over again. This sequence of events is addressed in today’s tapping example.

Tapping

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before; however, I choose to be amazed at how easy it will be to keep it off this time. Even though I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before I respect my choice to lose it, or not lose it again. Even though I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before I love and accept myself with or without those 5 pounds.

Eyebrow…I am so depressed

Side of Eye…Because I’ve lost the same 5 pounds before

Under the Eye…Not just once

Under the Nose…But over and over again

Chin…That feels like failure to me

Collarbone…I know it doesn’t have to keep happening that way

Under the Arm…But it feels like this cycle will never stop

Top of Head…I acknowledge my frustration

Eyebrow…I acknolwedge that I am feeling bad about this

Side of Eye…I don’t want to continue the struggle

Under the Eye…I would like to find a way to make this easier

Under the Nose…Stressing out over it won’t help me reach my goal

Chin…I am proud of myself for not giving up

Collarbone…I’d like to keep it off this time

Under the Arm…And I am open to having it be much easier

Top of Head…I love and accept myself, with or without this struggle.

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. How do you feel about the 5 pounds now? This exercise isn’t really about the 5 pounds. Most people’s weight fluctuates and the truth is that the ups happen much more easily for some people than the downs. How we feel about those fluctuations is the real issue and can set us up for even more difficulty. The key to this exercise is asserting that you can love and accept yourself no matter what your weight.

Bonus Exercise

Are you feeling brave? If so, take a look at your stomach. Take a really good look at it from the front, the side, clothed, and naked. Write down the first words that pop into your mind and then tap about those.

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Happy Tapping.

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

It Takes Too Long – Resistance to Meditation Part 1.

I promised you a tapping exercise to address resistance to meditation and I’m a girl who keeps her promises, except those made to herself when I promise I’m going to meditate. Guess how many times I meditated since I posted the article about the benefits of meditation. That’s right! Zero! I had better get started tapping to discover what the problem(s) actually might be.

The first excuse that popped into my head was “It takes too long.” I’m going to use that as my problem statement or MPI (most pressing issue) and I would rate that as an 8 on my 10-point SUD scale. (Very true)

Setup (karate chop point) – Even though I can’t meditate because it takes too long, I deeply and completely love and accept myself right now. Even though I can’t meditate because it takes to long and I already feel like there are not enough hours in the day, I deeply and completely love and accept myself right now and am open to new wisdom. Even though I can’t meditate because it takes too long, I love myself and accept myself, even with my excuses, and am open to seeing this in a different way.

Eyebrow…I can’t meditate

Side of Eye…It takes too long

Under the Eye…I don’t have enough time

Under the Nose…For all of the things I need to do

Chin…Or the things I want to do

Collarbone…This resistance to meditation

Under the Arm…It takes too long

Top of Head…I can’t meditate

Eyebrow…I can’t quit going to work

Side of Eye…And I really can’t go without my sleep

Under the Eye…My exercising is important too

Under the Nose…Nobody would tell me to quit exercising

Chin…I guess I can’t meditate

Collarbone…I wonder if there is a different way to look at this?

Under the Arm…I don’t think so

Top of Head…But what if there is?

Eyebrow…The article in Science Daily said that the benefits show up after just one meditation session

Side of Eye…If that is true it could make everything else I do easier

Under the Eye…And more effective

Under the Nose…Creating even more time for meditation

Chin…But it feels like I will have to give something up

Collarbone…And probably something I enjoy

Under the Arm…Or can already see the benefit of doing

Top of Head…I DO NOT want to give anything up

Eyebrow…If time is really my issue

Side of Eye…I wonder if there is some other way

Under the Eye…I really do believe that meditation is beneficial

Under the Nose…And I feel like a hypocrite

Chin…I’ve been recommending meditation to other people for years

Collarbone…I ususally tell them that they don’t have to do it for a long time

Under the Arm…And that they can start with just 5 minutes if that is all the time they can spare

Top of Head…If I’m really honest, I probably could find 5 minutes

Eyebrow…I could probably dedicate 5 minutes at work

Side of Eye…Which is my least favorite portion of my day

Under the Eye…And when I need it most

Under the Nose…I’d probably have to set a reminder on my phone

Chin…Because there is always work to fill that time

Collarbone…If I don’t set a high priority reminder.

Under the Arm..I don’t have time to meditate

Top of Head…Truthfully, yes I do.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out gently. When I say that problem statement again the intensity is down to about a 3 or 4. That’s a lot better but I know I haven’t cleared the whole issue because my certainty that I will meditate tomorrow at work is still pretty low. That means that my resistance to meditation must have several different aspects (factors) that create the problem. If I were to take a wild guess, some of the aspects that still need work are my belief that I’m not very good at it (from past experience), my anxiety that I will not be able to put all of my other stressors aside for even 5 minutes without more stress building up, and some internal dialogue that somehow I must be inadequate because I need meditation. Those thoughts came up in the background while doing the previous tapping and should keep me busy for a while.

I hope you tapped along and found it useful. I’d love to hear about your experiences with the tapping. Let me know what happened for you or how you motivate yourself to meditate.

Happy Tapping!

Talk About Yourself

The new wisdom is: don’t talk TO yourself, talk ABOUT yourself. I grew up hearing that if you talked to yourself it was bad. It was even worse if you referred to yourself in third person. According to Science Daily, researchers at Michigan State University found that talking about yourself in third person can help to reduce stress.

The rationale for this is very similar to something I have been saying for a long time. We need to shift perspective and get emotional distance when we are in a stressful situation. What these researchers are saying is that by talking about ourselves and the situation in third person it creates the change in perspective and allows the emotional distance that is otherwise very difficult to accomplish. Otherwise, we tend to get stuck in seeing things from inside our emotions.

So, instead of saying OMG, OMG, OMG over and over again, it might be better to ask “Why is Lea so upset?” or “What is Lea seeing that is causing her to be frightened?” Another example, “I am angry.” or “I am noticing some tension in my shoulders that I interpret as anger.”

This might take some practice but seems very reasonable. I think I might just try to think the thoughts rather than speaking out loud. Whoever is listening might have grown up like I did and would worry about me.

I Feel Shame About My Eating

One of the most frequent comments I get about tapping is that people don’t know where to start. They know, or have some basic idea, what the problem is but they get all hung up on the words. It is worth repeating – the words themselves are not magic. Tapping without words still works. I always encourage people to start where they are. After you start tapping, inspiration will come. The following tapping models how to tap about feeling shame about eating. It starts with the very basic setup “Even though I feel ashamed about my eating” and uses the reminder phrase “This eating shame.”

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I feel ashamed about my eating I choose to love and accept myself anyway. Even though I feel ashamed about my eating, I choose to love and accept myself unconditionally. Even though I feel ashamed about my eating, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Eyebrow…This eating shame

Side of Eye…This eating shame

Under the Eye…This eating shame

Under the Nose…This eating shame

Chin…This eating shame

Collarbone…This eating shame

Under the Arm…This eating shame

Top of Head…This eating shame

So you might look at this and think, “She just repeated the same thing over and over.” That’s right! You can make a lot of headway just repeating that phrase if it really is what you are feeling. Then, when you start feeling or thinking something different, tap on that. Keep repeating until you feel a shift. In my experience, something always comes up. It might be a memory of when someone else shamed you about your eating. I can share with you that when I did this one about 10 times a memory popped up of someone specifically saying to me “You should be ashamed of yourself.” That was my next thing to tap on in order to release the shame.

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Happy Tapping.

No Thanks, I Want to Keep My Anxiety

“No thanks, I want to keep my anxiety.” Can you imagine saying that? Or perhaps you might say, I’m too busy to take the time to meditate. Unfortunately those two statements are the same. Researchers in Michigan have found that anxiety (and cardiovascular disease) can be decreased with only ONE mindfulness meditation session.

Confession time: Although meditation is on my daily to-do list EVERY SINGLE DAY, I rarely do it. I always think I’m either too busy, too tired, or will get to it tomorrow. Reading about the study in Science Daily was a fantastic reminder.

The thought of meditation can be daunting. Although a topic for another post, there are many different ways to do mindfulness meditation. There are many free apps to download for your phone. There are youtube videos. And, there are lots of books on the topic. You can be silent, you can stand, you can sit, you can use a mantra. Which one you choose isn’t the important part. What is important is that you simply try one.

It sure is a good thing I know tapping. Over the next couple of weeks I’m going to do a series of tapping exercises to help clarify my resistance to meditating regularly. At this point I have no idea what the problem is, but I’m sure that I don’t want to keep my anxiety! Don’t worry, I intend to share my tapping.

Experimental Biology 2018. “Even a single mindfulness meditation session can reduce anxiety: People with anxiety show reduced stress on the arteries after 1-hour introductory session.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 23 April 2018.

Frustration

I have discovered that one of my triggers for mindless eating is frustration. Frustration is defined as a negative emotion that occurs because of the inability to change or achieve something. When I am in that state I seek relief through any means necessary, and fortunately (or unfortunately) I have found that food works – at least for a little while. In that instance, tapping about the food cravings doesn’t seem to work. Instead, I needed to tap on the feeling of frustration in order to break the pattern.

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – I’m frustrated, not just about one thing, but about many things. I don’t like this feeling. I can’t seem to fix the things that I’m frustrated about, so I want something sweet and delicious to make me feel better. Even though I am feeling frustrated by all of these things, I choose to manage the real issue, not just cover it up with a sugar high. Even though I am feeling frustrated and just want it to magically go away, I choose to remain open to solutions instead of causing another problem with poor food choices. Even though I really want to eat sweet things right now, I choose to release the frustration instead.

Eyebrow…I’m frustrated

Side of Eye…This frustration

Under the Eye…I’m really feeling frustrated

Under the Nose…I’m frustrated

Chin…This frustration

Collarbone…I want this frustration to just go away

Under the Arm…I’m frustrated

Top of Head…This frustration

Eyebrow…I’m so frustrated

Side of Eye…But I am open to seeing options

Under the Eye…I am frustrated

Under the Nose…But I am open to seeking solutions

Chin…I am frustrated

Collarbone…But I choose to allow an easy resolution

Under the Arm…I am frustrated

Top of Head…But I choose to take care of myself without relying on food

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. By giving your emotion a voice and acknowledging how you feel and how you are responding it breaks the pattern and gives you the freedom to address the real issue that is frustrating you from a place of clarity and calm.

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Fear of Public Speaking

Fear of public speaking is a big one for many people. Even the thought of tapping about it can feel overwhelming. It is not always necessary to confront fears and anxieties head on. We could tap about the physical sensations of fear such as a knot in the stomach, lump in the throat, queesiness, sweaty palms, tense muscles, or difficulty breathing. We can tap about the mental processes or thoughts that we become of aware of such as not believing that we can handle the situation, thinking that we are going to “lose it”, or hating the feared object. We can also tap on past experiences with the feared object or situation.

Although it sounds quite odd, you can also tap about future experiences with the feared object or situation. You can envision yourself in the future facing your fear or phobia. You might include data about how comfortable you are and how you intend to think and feel in the situation.

Say this problem statement aloud, “I have a fear of public speaking.” Rate the intensity that you experience when saying this statement on the 0-10 point scale and record your rating.

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I have this fear of public speaking, I accept myself with all of my problems and limitations. Even though I feel ridiculous being so afraid of public speaking, I choose to be awed and amazed at how easy it will be for me in the future. Even if I never completely get over this fear of public speaking, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway.

Eyebrow…I am afraid of public speaking

Side of Eye…I am afraid of public speaking

Under the Eye…I am afraid of public speaking

Under the Nose…I am afraid of public speaking

Chin…I am afraid of public speaking

Collarbone…I am afraid of public speaking

Top of Head…I am afraid of public speaking

Karate Chop Point…Even though I get a lump in my throat when I begin to speak in public, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though I tense up and get a lump in my throat every time I try to speak in public, I choose to feel confident – no matter what. Even though this lump in my throat makes it very difficult for me to speak in public, I accept myself anyway with all of my problems and limitations.

Eyebrow…I am terrified of public speaking

Side of Eye…I always get a lump in my throat

Under the Eye…That is a horrible feeling

Under the Nose…I get tense

Chin…Anticipating that lump in my throat

Collarbone…Really terrifies me

Under the Arm…I know I am going to choke

Top of Head…Literally and figuratively

Eyebrow…I have been terrified of public speaking

Side of Eye…I always tense up

Under the Eye…But a part of me knows

Under the Nose…That the lump isn’t real

Chin…It’s just my body trying to protect me

Collarbone…It’s my body’s outdated way of trying to keep me safe

Under the Arm…I needed that in the past

Top of Head…But I’m not sure I need that anymore

Eyebrow…I can find new ways of being safe

Side of Eye…I am open to exploring what I need now

Under the Eye…I am looking forward to widening my comfort zone

Under the Nose…Terrified of public speaking

Chin…Getting tense

Collarbone…This lump in my throat

Under the Arm…I needed these things before

Top of Head…But not any more.

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. Notice what you feel. Write down any memories about specific public speaking events that popped up so you can tap away that trauma too.

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I’m Angry About My Body

People have many different emotions about their body. Although there are some people who are completely satisfied with their weight and appearance, I don’t personally know very many. What I hear more often is people that are angry about their weight and body. Unfortunately, being angry with yourself doesn’t generally lead to resolution and change. That’s where tapping can help.

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I feel angry about the way my body looks, I deeply and completely love and accept myself right now. Even though I feel angry about the way my body looks, I am open to the possibility that I could feel differently about this tomorrow. Even though I feel angry about the way my body looks, I choose to take inspired action rather than reacting to this negative emotion.

Eyebrow…I am so angry

Side of Eye…I hate the way my body looks

Under the Eye…And I did this to myself

Under the Nose…I am so angry about the way my body looks

Chin…Doing anything about this feels almost impossible

Collarbone…This anger isn’t very healthy for me

Under the Arm…And probably makes it even harder to lose weight

Top of Head…I acknowledge my anger

Eyebrow…I acknowledge my challenges

Side of Eye…I accept who I am, even with this less than perfect body

Under the Eye…I have been so angry

Under the Nose…I have been angry about my body’s appearance

Chin…And I blame myself for it

Collarbone…That means I’ve been angry with myself

Under the Arm…I accept where I am right now

Top of Head…And I look forward to a future where I can accept my body too.

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. At first glance it may seem that we haven’t changed anything with this tapping. This is a necessary starting point for creating any lasting change around weight and body issues. It is absolutely essential to first accept the truth of where we are openly and honestly, and without blame or shame. From that place of acceptance, miracles can happen.

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Hiding My True Nature

How comfortable are you with letting other people see the real you? Is your social image very different from your private image? Are you hiding your true nature? Many people say there is a difference, but to varying degrees. Some people are afraid to let others get too close, usually because they fear rejection. The following tapping can help us get clarity about the issue and is a good starting point with this topic.

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I am afraid to let others see the real me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though I am afraid to let others know me too well, I love and accept who and what I am. Even though it is scary to let anyone get close enough to really know me, I love and accept myself.

Eyebrow…Afraid to let others see the real me

Side of Eye…Hiding my true nature

Under the Eye…Afraid to let others see the real me

Under the Nose…Hiding my true nature

Chin…Afraid to let others see the real me

Collarbone…Afraid to let others see the real me

Under the Arm…Afraid to let others see the real me

Top of Head…Fear of rejection if they really knew me

Eyebrow…Fear of rejection if they really knew me

Side of Eye…Fear of rejection if they really knew me

Under the Eye…Fear of rejection if they really knew me

Under the Nose…Fear of rejection

Chin…I’m trying to only let them see some of me

Collarbone…The parts I think are most acceptable

Under the Arm…I’ve been hiding my true nature

Top of Head…From them, and maybe also from me.

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. What did you notice? Did you become aware of which parts you think are acceptable to share and which ones you feel you need to hide? Write them down. Next to each of them, write down a few thoughts or memories that might explain how you have learned to value parts of yourself and reject other parts. That would be your starting point for some really awesome tapping.