I Want To Be Special. Do You?

baby polar bear walking underneath grown up polar bearI think everyone wants to be special.  When I say that I want to be special it feels somehow WRONG.  There are all kinds of automatic negative thoughts that pop into my head when I say that.  Sometimes I hear specific people from my past telling me that I’m not special.  I thought I would share a tapping exercise that I used when caught in the confusion of wanting to be special but having an internal dialogue that it is wrong to want to be special.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (on the karate chop point): I really do want to be special. My thoughts get all jumbled when I try to sort out what I really mean by that. I can see that my desire to be special in some way may be an attempt to elevate myself above others, but that doesn’t feel like the truth to me. I am open to understanding this aspect of myself more.  Even though I sometimes feel that wanting to be special is somehow wrong, I chose to love myself and accept myself anyway.  Even though I have mixed messages about wanting to be special, I chose to love myself and offer forgiveness to myself and to anyone else that has purposefully or accidentally contributed to these feelings.

Eyebrow…I want to be special

Side of Eye…I want to feel special

Under the Eye…Sometimes all it takes is for someone to be kind to me and I feel special

Chin…In my more lucid times I know that their kindness is really about them, not about me

Collarbone…I just like thinking it is about me

Under the Arm…I want other people to sometimes put what I want above what is easy for them

Top of Head…That makes me feel like I am special

Eyebrow…At least special enough to go out of their way for

Side of Eye…But again, that shows more about them than it does about me

Under the Eye…I suspect that I sometimes confuse feeling loved with being special

Under the Nose…Special is a very interesting word isn’t it

Chin…When I say that something is special to me I am assigning importance to it

Collarbone…In my mind, it doesn’t change the status of anything else

Under the Arm…If I were standing with another person and someone said the other person was special

Top of Head…I would wonder what was wrong with me that I wasn’t special too

Eyebrow…It is an interesting contrast

Side of Eye…I am open to knowing what this means

Under the Eye…O am open to experiencing “specialness” in a different way

Under the Nose…I resolve to be more careful in my allocation of specialness toward others so that feelings don’t get hurt

Chin…I’ve been taught that we are all special in God’s eyes

Collarbone…Then what does special mean

Under the Arm…I think in that case it just means that I am important to God

Top of Head…Am I ok with that definition

Eyebrow…No, not really

Side of Eye…But I am open to discovering more truth about this

Under the Eye…I choose to work to decrease my reliance on such arbitrary labels

Under the Nose…I choose to use labels, such as special, more carefully

Chin…I choose to embrace my uniqueness without needing to be “special”

Collarbone…I choose to embrace the uniqueness of others

Under the Arm…I do not need to diminish others in order to feel good about myself

Top of Head…I choose to think and act in ways that allow me to feel good about myself.

Take a deep breath and release it gently.  Has anything shifted?  I know I have a lot more work to do on this need to be or feel special but I did feel something shift when I did the tapping and it felt good.

Sugar Addiction – Video 3 of 3

Photo of easter candy representing sugar addiction at EasterSometimes it is difficult to predict how different aspects of a problem or challenge will appear. In this video there is an update on my sugar addiction tapping and also a general tapping on food anxiety. I thought the re-post of sugar addiction tapping would be absolutely appropriate as we face the Easter basket candy.  Please join in.

Sugar Addiction – Video 2 of 3

This video addressed some of the emotions that can drive a sugar sugary snackaddiction such as anger and embarrassment.

Say this statement “I am a sugar addict.”  How true does that feel to you on a 0-10 scale (10=very true)?  Write that number down before you start tapping to release the hold that sugar addiction has on you.

Today I Faced The Marshmallow Fluff, and I Lost

This story came from Linda.  She said that she was tired, frustrated, and irritable after her difficult day.  As any good food addict will do – she turned to food.  She wasn’t proud of it, but that day she had faced the marshmallow fluff and it won.  Here is the way we started tapping.  Feel free to tap along.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup: (tapping the karate chop point) Even though I gave into temptation and ate marshmallow fluff by the spoonful today, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though I ate marshmallow fluff in response to being tired and frustrated, I choose to view myself with love and compassion. Even though I ate marshmallow fluff in secret so nobody would know, I choose to get back on track right now.

Eyebrow…I ate marshmallow fluff

Side of Eye…First I put some on my brownie

Under the Eye…Then I ate some on a spoon with some peanut butter

Nose…Then I just ate it off a spoon without anything else

Chin…Knowing that I still have these behaviors makes me feel so defeated sometimes

Collarbone…I wasn’t really hungry, but I was craving something sweet

Under the Arm…It was here, easy, and easy to hide

Top of Head…I didn’t eat enough to do a lot of damage to my diet

Eyebrow…But I did damage my confidence

Side of Eye…I also know that once I start, it is sometimes hard to stop

Under the Eye…It’s good to know that I can tap on that issue too if I need to

Nose…I am angry with myself for eating the fluff

Chin…I’m disappointed with myself for eating the fluff

Collarbone…I feel like a failure

Under the Arm…I feel like a fraud

Top of Head…The fluff won, and I hate that

In this case we just started where she was at the time.  The words of the setup statement state the truth of what happened, but also state where she wanted to end up –acceptance and able to get back on track. It wouldn’t have been beneficial to pretend that it didn’t happen.  During the rest of the tapping the behaviors were described but also some of the negative self talk about eating the fluff.  This part can be expanded to cover all of the feelings that come up.

For Linda it didn’t really take more than this.  As soon as she acknowledged the behavior and expressed her feelings about it while tapping she experienced considerable relief.  She told me later that she did additional tapping on the specific feeling of being a failure at another time and was able to get clarity and relief there too.

As you can see, the tapping doesn’t have to be complicated.  You just have to get started.

Tapping Video: I’m Not Smart Enough

old books side by side on library shelfSometimes reading and studying ancient texts can seem daunting or even impossible.  I like to use tapping to break down the barriers that keep us from being able to explore new or complex ideas.  In the video below I demonstrate tapping on not feeling smart enough and the automatic negative thought of never going to be able to “get it.”  Feel free to tap along.

Tapping Video: How To Deal With A Chocolate Craving

person's face covered in chocolate to symbolize chocolate cravingCravings can be intense.  Sometimes I’ve been successful with willpower to resist a craving.  More often than not, I haven’t.  That picture really says it all.  When I want chocolate I want it now, I want a lot of it, and I have had fantasies of swimming in a vat of it. Join in with me while I use meridian tapping to address a strong craving for chocolate and a feeling of resistance about even doing the tapping – because I know it works.

Tapping Video: Worried About What Others Will Think

Three people in meeting worried about what each other is thinkingDo you worry more about what others think than what you think? Do you let your beliefs about what others might think make your decisions for you?  Would you like to listen to your own inner guidance rather than abdicating your decisions to others? Tap along with the video to gain clarity about the problem and to start the process of change.

 

Tapping Exercise: I hate situps

I really like the idea of exercise.  I feel good about myself after I do exercise.  But I don’t like ALL exercise equally.  I really hate situps (or pretty much any other core exercise).

illustration for karate chop pointStart tapping on your karate chop point and use the setup statements below.

Setup: I really hate situps. I know that working on our core is crucial to having good health.  I just can’t seem to make myself do them. Even though I really hate situps and rarely do any core strengthening exercises, I choose to love and accept myself anyway. Even though I have definitely neglected my core, I deeply and completely love and accept that part of myself that is at least trying to do what my body needs.  Even though I really hate situps, I choose to be amazed by how easy they could seem in the future.

Eyebrow…I hate situps

Side of Eye…I really hate situps

Under the Eye…They are hard for me

Nose…I know that strengthening my core muscles would be a good thing

Chin…I know that doing situps or other exercises would help me lose even more weight

Collarbone…But I have been unable to make myself do them in the past

Under the Arm…What if there is a way to actually feel good about doing them?

Top of Head…What if they don’t have to be awful?

Eyebrow…I could focus on hos good those muscles feel to actually receive some attention

Side of Eye…I could focus on how my waist measurement is changing as I am faithful with my workouts

Under the Eye…I could use my situp time to acknowledge everything that I have to be grateful for

Nose…I could use my core workouts as a time to send positive energy to situations and people who are important to me

Chin…I am open to feeling more positive about working on my core muscles

Collarbone…I am hopeful that I can feel more confident in my ability to do situps and other core exercises

Under the Arm…It really wouldn’t add that much more time to my daily workouts

Top of Head…And I am excited to think that this workout could make me feel and look even better.