Mindfulness

Lea standing at Grand Canyon

I am sure you have heard the word mindfulness. In my lifetime it has evolved from a “hippie” word to a mainstream buzzword. I think that is for good reason. It can be helpful to think about mindfulness as both a group of techniques and a lifestyle. For me, mindfulness as a lifestyle is more aspirational, but I do believe that frequent practice of the techniques can lead in that direction. I define mindfulness as the practice of actively engaging the full mind in the present moment without simultaneously carving out space for reviewing the past or planning the future.

Mindfulness is often associated with meditation. They can can go together, but I prefer to see them as separate. I consider meditation as one technique or one method to engage in mindfuless. It can also be practiced in other ways that don’t seem particularly meditative or spiritual.

Two examples that come to mind include mindful toothbrushing and mindful eating. Toothbrushing and eating are often done without any mental focus or effort. If you switch your toothbrush or fork to your nondominant hand, you have to come into the present moment and focus on the mechanics. There is no mental space for reflection on the past or projecting into the future unless you want to make a mess.

Mindfulness meditation is also beneficial, but can be strenuous. Most people think they are terrible at it and have unrealistic expectations. My first real experience of this was at a 2-day meditation retreat. That’s right! I started with 2 days! This is something I do NOT recommend. I had the expectation that my mind should be clear of all thoughts and I would avoid all distractions if I was doing it right.

What I experienced was almost instant and continuous monkey mind. Sitting in silence felt painful, and I didn’t do much better with walking meditation. I noticed everything around me and started mentally describing everything I saw. It took real effort to return my thoughts to the present moment over and over again.

I thought I was getting the hang of things on the second day…until the bird flew into the window. At that point I started worrying about whether or not it was dead. That storyline continued all the way to wondering whether cats eat dead birds. If that wasn’t enough, my brain engaged in comparing myself to the others at the retreat. They all looked like they were doing it right.

Yes, it is hard. It makes one wonder, “why try?” There are so many reasons.

  1. Mind mastery. If you can repeatedly return to the present moment in meditation practice (or while brushing your teeth), you will be more likely to be able to do it in real life situations.
  2. Greater joy in the moment. Being fully present while eating that fragrant, visually beautiful, and incredibly tasty pizza will bring so much more pleasure than worrying about whether they will find something awful when you have your colonoscopy 20 years from now and how you will handle that.
  3. Decreased anxiety. If you consider anxiety as unproductive thinking about a future possibility that has not yet happened, mindfulness or being in the present moment does not allow space or energy for anxious thinking.

There are many books and references about mindfulness. I recommend Good Morning I Love You, by Shauna Shapiro as a good introduction. Easy to read, well-written, and gentle, it includes practical exercises for readers at all levels of mindfulness and meditation practice.

Accept that it will not come naturally at first. That’s ok. Mindfulness is not a destination. It is simply a practice.

All The Plates Will Fall – Resistance to Meditation Part III

I am still resistant to doing meditation and I apparently have an abundance of excuses about why I can’t meditate. I find that mildly humorous since I have been re-reading one of my favorite books, Eat Pray Love, in which there is at least a third of the book that addresses meditation.

One of my excuses is that it feels like all of the plates will fall down (the ones I have to keep spinning) if I stop to meditate. Although not as bad as at other times in my life, I often feel frantic because of all that I try to do and accomplish. Just a momentary lapse in trying to control my universe feels like it would be a disaster.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop point) – Even though I am still resisting meditation I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though I have what seems to be a million excuses why I can’t meditate, I choose to relax and know that I am ok just as I am. Even though it often feels like the world will tumble down around me if I stop to meditate for even a minute, I love and accept myself with or without all of my excuses.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I am still resisting meditation

Side of Eye…No matter how much I promise myself that I will do it

Under the Eye…I just can’t seem to stop for long enough

Under the Nose…And just considering it feels like I am courting disaster

Chin…While I logically know that meditation will help me do almost anything better

Collarbone…And with more ease

Under the Arm…It feels just the opposite

Top of Head…If feels like stopping to meditate

Eyebrow…Will allow all of those plates that I am trying to keep spinning in my life

Side of Eye…To fall to the ground and smash into tiny pieces

Under the Eye…Nothing but constant vigilance

Under the Nose…Can keep that from happening

Chin…This doesn’t seem to be just about meditation

Collarbone…But also about the lifestyle that I have accepted

Under the Arm…I may have to address more than one thing

Top of Head…In order to be successful with meditation

Eyebrow…I choose to consider the possibility

Side of Eye…That all of this is an illusion

Under the Eye…To keep myself safe

Under the Nose…Safe from what?

Chin…Probably safe from myself

Collarbone…Just like avoiding meditation, I can be my own worst enemy

Under the Arm…It might be time to consider a change

Top of Head…I could gently put down the plates

Eyebrow…I could ask someone to spin them for me

Side of Eye…Or I could let the plates take care of themselves during my meditation time

Under the Eye…The plates obviously take care of themselves when I am sleeping and my world doesn’t crumble

Under the Nose…The plates obviously take care of themselves when I am at work (at least most of the time)

Chin…I think I have revealed this to just be an excuse

Collarbone…And now I might consider letting it go

Under the Arm…I may still resist meditation and that is ok

Top of Head…But fear of falling plates is not a valid reason to avoid it

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. It is likely that different thoughts popped into your mind. For me, I think I have some work to do about my serious control issues.

Happy Tapping.

I’m Not Good At It

An earlier post described one of my excuses that it takes too long. Today’s post addresses a second excuse “I’m not good at it.”If you’ve been following along you know that I have a resistance to meditation even though I know all of the benefits, have recommended it to others, and generally believe it would be a good thing in my life.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I’m not good at meditation, I’m okay. Even though I’m not good at meditation, and I have lots of examples to support that, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and my belief that I have to be good at everything I do. Even though I’m not good at meditation, I choose to relax and go with the flow.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation

Side of Eye…And I’ve got proof

Under the Eye…As soon as I sit to meditate something hurts

Under the Nose…And that distracts me

Chin…And I have to move to make it stop hurting

Collarbone…And then when that stops hurting

Under the Arm…Then something else starts to hurt

Top of Head…So I never get anything accomplished by trying to meditate

Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation

Side of Eye…I get a serious case of monkey brain

Under the Eye…The thoughts in my head seem to actually speed up

Under the Nose…Until there are no gaps between them

Chin…It could be my to-do list

Collarbone…It could be random things like why grapes come in so many different colors

Under the Arm…Or trying to decide what book I want to read next

Top of Head…So I never get anything accomplished when I try to meditate

Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation

Side of Eye…A lot of the time if I am too comfortable I fall asleep

Under the Eye…While that may address the relaxation part of meditation

Under the Nose…It does nothing to help with learning to control my mind

Chin…And isn’t that the point of it all?

Collarbone…I seem to have a lot of rules and expectations about meditation for myself

Under the Arm…That I don’t have for anyone else

Top of Head…And they are getting in my way

Eyebrow…Monkey Brain is just part of the process

Side of Eye…And so are the distractions coming from my body

Under the Eye…I know I am not supposed to judge them

Under the Nose…But I definitely do

Chin…I judge the distractions and I judge myself for having them

Collarbone…I think it is time for a different approach

Under the Arm…I’ve done long weekends of meditation before

Top of Head…And they were generally miserable

Eyebrow…But it doesn’t have to miserable when I meditate on my own

Side of Eye…There are no rules

Under the Eye…Unless I make them

Under the Nose…I could choose to take a gentler approach

Chin…And I could even redefine what being good at meditation means

Collarbone…I like that idea. I could define being good at meditation with being consistent

Top of Head…Beginning today, being good at meditation simply means doing meditation.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

It Takes Too Long – Resistance to Meditation Part 1.

I promised you a tapping exercise to address resistance to meditation and I’m a girl who keeps her promises, except those made to herself when I promise I’m going to meditate. Guess how many times I meditated since I posted the article about the benefits of meditation. That’s right! Zero! I had better get started tapping to discover what the problem(s) actually might be.

The first excuse that popped into my head was “It takes too long.” I’m going to use that as my problem statement or MPI (most pressing issue) and I would rate that as an 8 on my 10-point SUD scale. (Very true)

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (karate chop point) – Even though I can’t meditate because it takes too long, I deeply and completely love and accept myself right now. Even though I can’t meditate because it takes to long and I already feel like there are not enough hours in the day, I deeply and completely love and accept myself right now and am open to new wisdom. Even though I can’t meditate because it takes too long, I love myself and accept myself, even with my excuses, and am open to seeing this in a different way.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I can’t meditate

Side of Eye…It takes too long

Under the Eye…I don’t have enough time

Under the Nose…For all of the things I need to do

Chin…Or the things I want to do

Collarbone…This resistance to meditation

Under the Arm…It takes too long

Top of Head…I can’t meditate

Eyebrow…I can’t quit going to work

Side of Eye…And I really can’t go without my sleep

Under the Eye…My exercising is important too

Under the Nose…Nobody would tell me to quit exercising

Chin…I guess I can’t meditate

Collarbone…I wonder if there is a different way to look at this?

Under the Arm…I don’t think so

Top of Head…But what if there is?

Eyebrow…The article in Science Daily said that the benefits show up after just one meditation session

Side of Eye…If that is true it could make everything else I do easier

Under the Eye…And more effective

Under the Nose…Creating even more time for meditation

Chin…But it feels like I will have to give something up

Collarbone…And probably something I enjoy

Under the Arm…Or can already see the benefit of doing

Top of Head…I DO NOT want to give anything up

Eyebrow…If time is really my issue

Side of Eye…I wonder if there is some other way

Under the Eye…I really do believe that meditation is beneficial

Under the Nose…And I feel like a hypocrite

Chin…I’ve been recommending meditation to other people for years

Collarbone…I ususally tell them that they don’t have to do it for a long time

Under the Arm…And that they can start with just 5 minutes if that is all the time they can spare

Top of Head…If I’m really honest, I probably could find 5 minutes

Eyebrow…I could probably dedicate 5 minutes at work

Side of Eye…Which is my least favorite portion of my day

Under the Eye…And when I need it most

Under the Nose…I’d probably have to set a reminder on my phone

Chin…Because there is always work to fill that time

Collarbone…If I don’t set a high priority reminder.

Under the Arm..I don’t have time to meditate

Top of Head…Truthfully, yes I do.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out gently. When I say that problem statement again the intensity is down to about a 3 or 4. That’s a lot better but I know I haven’t cleared the whole issue because my certainty that I will meditate tomorrow at work is still pretty low. That means that my resistance to meditation must have several different aspects (factors) that create the problem. If I were to take a wild guess, some of the aspects that still need work are my belief that I’m not very good at it (from past experience), my anxiety that I will not be able to put all of my other stressors aside for even 5 minutes without more stress building up, and some internal dialogue that somehow I must be inadequate because I need meditation. Those thoughts came up in the background while doing the previous tapping and should keep me busy for a while.

I hope you tapped along and found it useful. I’d love to hear about your experiences with the tapping. Let me know what happened for you or how you motivate yourself to meditate.

Happy Tapping!

No Thanks, I Want to Keep My Anxiety

“No thanks, I want to keep my anxiety.” Can you imagine saying that? Or perhaps you might say, I’m too busy to take the time to meditate. Unfortunately those two statements are the same. Researchers in Michigan have found that anxiety (and cardiovascular disease) can be decreased with only ONE mindfulness meditation session.

Confession time: Although meditation is on my daily to-do list EVERY SINGLE DAY, I rarely do it. I always think I’m either too busy, too tired, or will get to it tomorrow. Reading about the study in Science Daily was a fantastic reminder.

The thought of meditation can be daunting. Although a topic for another post, there are many different ways to do mindfulness meditation. There are many free apps to download for your phone. There are youtube videos. And, there are lots of books on the topic. You can be silent, you can stand, you can sit, you can use a mantra. Which one you choose isn’t the important part. What is important is that you simply try one.

It sure is a good thing I know tapping. Over the next couple of weeks I’m going to do a series of tapping exercises to help clarify my resistance to meditating regularly. At this point I have no idea what the problem is, but I’m sure that I don’t want to keep my anxiety! Don’t worry, I intend to share my tapping.

Experimental Biology 2018. “Even a single mindfulness meditation session can reduce anxiety: People with anxiety show reduced stress on the arteries after 1-hour introductory session.” ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 23 April 2018.