Unfortunately I am no stranger to feeling out of control with food. It is a huge issue that I have not completely eliminated. Fortunately the fear of of losing control is something that rarely sneaks up on me, so when I first notice it I can usually find relief in tapping. What follows is a short tapping that you can use when you start to worry about losing control.
Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though I am afraid I will lose control if confronted with any of my favorite foods, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I am afraid that I will lose control and eat too much or eat foods that are not healthy for me, I choose to focus on loving myself and my healthy body instead. Even though I am afraid that I will lose control and eat like a pig, I choose to feel calm and confident, even twhen those comfort foods are readily available.
Eyebrow…I am afraid I will lose control
Side of Eye…I am afraid I will eat like a pig
Under the Eye…I am afraid my food plan will go right out the window
Under the Nose…I can’t control myself around those foods
Chin…I am afraid I will lose control
Collarbone…I am afraid I will eat too much
Under the Arm…I am afraid I will eat unhealthy foods
Top of Head…I am afraid I will lose control
Continue with these or similar phrases until you feel relief
Did you benefit from this tapping? I’d love to hear about your success.
Who likes the feeling of deprivation? I certainly don’t. Dread related to feeling deprived can stop
people from making positive changes in their diet, particularly if they currently
partake in something known to be less than healthy or even dangerous. Today’s tapping is short, but is a starting
place for addressing the fear of deprivation.
Say this statement aloud, “I will feel deprived if I cannot
eat my favorite foods.” How true does
that feel to you? Rate it on the 0-10 scale
(10=is very strong or very true.)
Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though I am afraid of how I
will feel if I don’t eat my favorite foods. I choose to love and accept myself
anyway. Even though I am sure I will feel deprived without my favorite foods, I
am hopeful that I can find other sources of pleasure in my life. Even though the fear of deprivation is very
strong for me, I am beginning to consider small diet changes that will help me
to be healthy and happy.
Eyebrow…I feel deprived
Side of Eye…I want to eat my favorite foods
Under the Eye…I don’t want to feel deprived
Under the Nose…I need to eat or I will feel deprived
Chin…I will do anything to avoid that feeling
Under the Arm…Fear of deprivation
Top of Head…This strong feeling of deprivation
Say the original statement again, “I will feel deprived if I
cannot eat my favorite foods?” How true
does that feel to you now? Did specific
foods pop in your mind? Continue tapping
about how it would feel to not eat those foods or to eat them less often. Did your mind drift to specific thoughts,
feelings, or sensations related to deprivation?
Continue tapping about how much you want to avoid those thoughts,
feelings, and sensations.
you know that there are more than 10,000 ant species? I didn’t. I knew that there were red ones, brown ones,
black ones, ants that bite, and ants that don’t. Ants are social insects and usually live in
communities that have a queen ant. The
worker ants are female. They have no
wings, don’t reproduce, but have many duties within the colony such as foraging
for food, caring for the queen’s baby ants, and protecting the community. Male ants have only one job – making baby
ants with the queen. After they are done
with that task they usually die.
very long ago I had an interesting infestation of ants in my kitchen. Actually it really wasn’t an infestation with
swarms of ants everywhere; it was more of a semi-constant trickle. I did some cleaning and they seemed to be
gone. That lasted about 3 hours then I
saw another one walking across the kitchen floor. A few hours later I saw one walking across a kitchen
don’t harbor an intense dislike of ants and I don’t usually go out of my way to
kill them if they are outside, but I don’t want them on my kitchen counters or
in my drawers, and I don’t want to squish them under my bare feet when walking
in the kitchen. Since they broke our “agreement”
to stay outside I decided to spray the baseboards to try to stop them from
coming in. That lasted for about 8
hours, then more ants.
this ant battle was going on I was also having some struggles at work. I felt that I was being treated as insignificant,
not being allowed to exercise my own judgment and creativity, and just felt
that I was generally not appreciated. ON the inside I was rebelling about all
of this as was trying to assert my individualism within a culture that clearly
doesn’t value that.
ants kept coming and I continued to feel dissatisfied. One morning while doing
my lap swim I had the thought, “what if the ants are acting as one of my
totems?” I started thinking about the ant characteristics that I’ve been
writing about and became even more sure of it.
I phoned a friend and shared my insight, thinking that it was hilarious
that I had overlooked this possibility and quipped, “wouldn’t it be hysterical
if the ants were gone when I get home?” After all, I had finally received the
message about being industrious, fitting in, stamina, and perseverance.
I got home the ants were indeed gone. I’m
sure that I have more work to do pertaining to managing employment while
nurturing my own dreams. I am glad the ants were persistent and that I finally
caught on. It does make me wonder how
many other times there have been animal totems willing to point me in the right
direction, but I somehow missed out on getting the message.
get started, lets do a tapping meditation to get in touch with some of the
characteristics associated with ants and to get ready for whatever messages
ants might have for you.
Side of Eye
Under the Eye
Under the Nose
Solves complex problems
Under the Arm
Top of Head
Side of Eye
Under the Eye
Under the Nose
Under the Arm
Top of Head
Side of Eye
Under the Eye
Under the Nose
Under the Arm
Top of Head
Side of Eye
Under the Eye
Under the Nose
What message to you have for me?
Under the Arm
Top of Head
Open to the message of ants
Keep tapping while considering the knowledge, experiences,
and meaning that the ant may have for you. Be sure to write down any thoughts,
beliefs, or feelings that arise when you have finished the tapping meditation.
Which characteristics of the ant would you want more of? Which characteristics
do you have in abundance?
For me, the ant is a fairly neutral symbol. I was raised on the image of ants being a nuisance
when they visit a picnic. I have also
seen the painful bites or stings from fire ants. I’ve been intrigued by ant hills and loved
the movie Ants. I even had an ant farm
when I was growing up.
Ants are actually pretty important in Native American
culture and lore. The Hope, Pueblo, and Akimal O’odham tribes have Ant Clans.
The Cherokee celebrate with an Ant Dance. In the Cahuilla creation myth ants spread the
earth out for people and animals to live upon. In a Hopi myth the ant people
provided shelter to the humans during the destruction of the First World. The industriousness and cooperative spirit
associated with ants is often the focus of these stories.
Ants are also a common feature in literature. Ants are mentioned in the Bible and in the
Quran. Ants were featured in A Tramp
Abroad by Mark Twain, The Once and Future King by T.H. White, Les Fourmis by
Bernard Werber, and The Empire of the Ants by H.G. Wells. Do you remember the cartoon Atom Ant? Did you have an ant farm when you were
growing up? Did you play the game Ants
in the Pants? Maybe you are more
familiar with the movies Antz by Dream Works Animation in which Z-4195 longs
for the opportunity to express himself or the movie A Bugs Life from Pixar
Animation Studios in which the misfit ant Flik fancies himself to be an individualist
The above selection was from my upcoming book Unleash Your Primal Power: Totem Tapping for Health and Happiness. If you read my first book Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT you might remember that there was a chapter devoted to using animal characterstics to guide tapping on personality characteristics and change. The upcoming book is an expansion of the concept.
As we continue our resolutions related to food, exercise, and health in 2019 we will continue to use tapping to increase our odds of success. The next tapping exercise begins to address some of the emotional reasons we eat. In this case it is the feeling that food is our friend. For some people, food may feel like their only friend.
Say this statement aloud, “Food is my only friend.” How true does that feel to you? It may be a stronger feeling on some days than others. Rate it on the 0-10 scale (10=is very strong or very true.)
Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though it feels sometimes
like food is my only friend, I deeply and completely love and accept myself
anyway. Even though I eat junk food when
I am lonely, and I am afraid of losing my only friend if I stop eating, I
choose to find other ways to manage this feeling. Even though it is terrifying to think of
changing my relationship with my food/friend.
I am open to a new way of being.
Eyebrow…Food is my friend
Side of Eye…How can I give that up?
Under the Eye…Sometimes I think food is my only friend
Under the Nose…I have no idea what I would do instead of
eating when I feel lonely
Chin…Even the thought makes me want to eat more
Collarbone…Food feels like my best friend
Under the Arm…Everyone wants a best friend
Top of Head…And it’s always there when I need it
Eyebrow…Food never lets me down
Side of Eye…I always feel better when I eat ice cream or
Under the Eye…At least for a little while
Under the Nose…Later I feel pretty bad
Chin…I am open to others ways of handling these feelings
Collarbone…Food is just food
Under the Arm…It is ok to enjoy it, but I can learn how to
handle these other feelings in different ways
Top of Head…Feelings are just feelings, and I can handle
Say the original statement again, “Food is my only
friend.” How true does that feel to you
now? Did other thoughts or feelings come
up? Did you find yourself arguing with
any of the statements? Those are great
opportunities to continue your tapping on this issue until the truth of the
original statement is very low.
Are you still on the path for improved health and wellness in 2019? Is the resolution still firmly in mind? Hopefully our last tapping was a good starting point for managing the barriers to success. One of the things that came up for me when thinking about my love-hate relationship with food was the quality of my thinking. I’m just not very rational when I think about food. That is what today’s tapping is about. Say this statement: “I have trouble thinking about food in a rational way.” How true is that for you on the 0-10 scale (10=very rue).
Setup (karate chop
point): Even though I have trouble thinking about food in a rational way, I
deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though food is a highly emotional subject for me, I am working
toward a different way of relating to food, meals, and eating. Even though I have an emotional reaction to
food, I love and accept myself, knowing that I am a work in progress.
irrational about food
Side of Eye…Thinking about food makes me emotional
Under the Eye…Thinking about not having certain foods makes
Under the Nose…Thinking about limiting certain foods makes
Chin…Everything about food and eating makes me emotional
Collarbone…And don’t say the word diet to me
Under the Arm…I am working on changing these emotional
Top of Head…I look forward to seeing food in a new way.
Now say that beginning statement again, “I have trouble
thinking about food in a rational way.”
Rate it again on the 0-10 scale.
Was there any change? It may have
gone up, gone down, or stayed the same.
The relative change is new information to use in your tapping. Here are some suggestions to make it more
Substitute a particular food instead of the word
“food” to make it more specific if there is a food or group of foods that
brings the strongest emotional reaction.
Tap while thinking about how much you believe
you would miss a particular food
Tap while using your original rating number,
“This 9-feeling in my gut when I think about not eating _____”
If you are feeling particularly impatient with
the slow progress….tap about your lack of patience with an affirmation about
being a work in progress.
Whenever the word should shows up in your thoughts or conversations it is a pretty good sign that prior programming is at work. Should is a very dangerous word. It leads to feelings of guilt and shame. Although your mother might disagree with me, there are very few real shoulds in this world. Most of the time you could substitute “I would prefer it if you would” or “I want you to”, or “it might be easier/better/safer if” instead of the word should.
Say this problem statement aloud, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” Rate the intensity on the 0-10
point scale and record your rating.
Setup (karate chop point): Even though I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I choose to love, accept, and forgive myself anyway. Even though I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I choose to love, accept, and forgive myself anyway. Even though I know I shouldn’t be feeling this way, I choose to love, accept, and forgive myself anyway.
Eyebrow…I shouldn’t be feeling this way Side of Eye…I don’t even know why it is bothering me Under the Eye…I don’t think I should be feeling this way Under the Nose…Just admitting that I feel this way really bothers me Chin…I feel bad that I feel this way Collarbone…I’d like to pretend that I feel something different Under the Arm…Then no one would know that I feel this way Top of Head…No one would judge me for feeling this way Eyebrow…I shouldn’t be feeling this way Side of Eye…But my feelings are real Under the Eye…And my feelings are ok Under the Nose…I don’t need to be afraid of my feelings Chin…And I don’t need to judge my feelings Collarbone…My feelings happen naturally Under the Arm…No matter what my feelings are – I’m in control of how I express them Top of Head…I choose to acknowledge my feelings, whatever they are Eyebrow…Who told me I shouldn’t feel this way? Side of Eye…What do they know about this? Under the Eye…They are MY feelings Under the Nose…My feelings are an acceptable part of who I am Chin…I do feel this way Collarbone…I accept my feelings just as they are Under the Arm…I accept my feelings and I accept that they are MY feelings Top of Head…My feelings are good and I am good
Take a deep breath and check the intensity of your original problem statement. “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.” Record your new intensity rating. This is an exercise that often sparks additional thoughts and feelings. It is quite likely that other early programming remarks made their way into your consciousness. Be sure to add them to your tapping journal for later work.
It is a new year and many people, myself included, have an intention to do something positive related to diet, exercise, or health in the new year. Unfortunately, that forward momentum lasts for only a short time. I’ve heard it is an average of only 12 days. With tapping, I think we can do a lot better than that. Ready to get started? A good place for me to start is my love-hate relationship with food.
The Setup: (karate chop point) Even though I have this love-hate relationship with food, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even thgough I love food, but I hate what it does to my body, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though my relationship wtih food and with my body is quite problematic for me at times, I deeply and completely flove myself and accept all of these feelings.
Eyebrow…I have a love/hate relationship with food
Side of Eye…This love/hate relationship with food
Under the Eye…I hate what my love of food sometimes does to my body
Under the Nose…I love food but I hate my body
Chin…I hate food but I love my body
Collarbone…This love/hate relationship with food
Under the Arm…Even though I have this love/hate relationship with food
Top of Head…I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway
You might be thinking that this was pretty short and didn’t change anything. You would likely be correct. This is just a starting point. Think of it as the diving board where you are poised to jump/dive off. If you were really paying attention to the words they likely caused you to react in some way, whether to agree or to balk. That is where the magic of this tapping exercise can be found. Continue to tap at the points while stating aloud all of those things that popped in your head.
Welcome back to our tapping about weight loss and getting ready to be successful in our New Year’s Resolutions. Take out those lists from last time. You should have a list of the top 10 reasons for wanting to change your weight and a list of the cons or down-side to weight loss. Next we are going to consider the positive things we associate with being overweight. I can hear everybody screaming that there is nothing positive, but stay with me.
If someone were to ask you what you get out of being overweight, you might be tempted to punch them. Of course you don’t get anything out of being overweight – or do you? Being overweight does have advantages for some people. Our excess weight can serve as a protection from other people or from our own sexuality. Keeping the excess weight also allows us to maintain the status quo rather than risk the possibility of frustration and failure. For some people, being overweight serves as a connection to current family members and to generations past. When you hear someone say “All of the women in my family have been heavy” that is a strong statement of identification that could be lost if the individual was to lose weight. These conscious and unconscious benefits of being overweight can have a tremendous impact on your energy system and can be sufficient to stop a weight loss effort. Be brutally honest and write down the positive things that are associated with being overweight.
Automatic thoughts, often negative, are just that – automatic. They pop into our minds and have a tremendous impact, not only on our current mood but also on our energy system. What thoughts pop into your mind when you hear or think about the words diet, exercise, or weight loss? Write them down in as much detail as you possible can.
Put those lists back in a safe place. In the final article in this series we will use those lists to pull it all together into a very effective tapping plan to boost your success.
In preparation for New Year Resolutions about weight loss I thought I would give you some tools for increasing the probability of success. This series will help you fine-tune your goals and get started with some success-building tapping. It is time for self-discovery.
What are your main reasons for wanting to change your weight? Your answers will probably be similar to mind and to those of most of your friends. The standard answers include things such as to be healthy, to look good at my next class reunion, so my doctor will get off my back about my weight, and so I can enjoy physical activity more easily. Those are really good answers, but you will have more success if you can be even more specific about your reasons. Check out these examples below.
I want to be healthy
So that my chest doesn’t hurt when I climb stairs
To look good at my next class reunion
Because I want to see the look on Joe’s face when he realizes what he gave up when he dumped me
So my doctor will get off my back about weight
To be eager to get on the scales instead of dreading ig
So I can enjoy physical activity more easily
So I can fit in the swings when I go to the playground with my children
On a piece of paper, or better yet it your tapping journal, list your top 10 reasons for wanting to change your weight. Be as specific as you possible can. Include as much information as it takes for you to get a clear image of what YOU really want. This is not the time to write down things that you think you should want or what other people tell you that they want. This is all about YOU.
This next exercise may be a bit more challenging. What is the downside for you in changing your weight? How can there be a downside? I can think of many. Perhaps you are not looking forward to the feelings of deprivation that you are expecting. Maybe you have concerns about the time it might take to prepare healthy meals or to exercise. What about fear of failure? Do you experience panic when considering how you are going to manage your moods if you don’t have food to rely upon? It is time to identify at least 10 factors that you would consider the cons or negative side of changing your weight. Write them down on that paper or in your tapping journal.
Wow, that was a lot of work. Stay tuned. The next article will continue this process of self-discovery. Put your lists in a safe place so that you can find them easily.
I love music. I have always enjoyed singing. I have usually also suffered from pre-performance jitters. Sometimes the excitement can improve my performance, but other times it really interferes. This tapping demonstrates using tapping to not only reduce the immediate jitters, but also to reinforce visualizations of optimal performance.