Do I Have To Be Right?

Verse 2: Tao Te Ching

Everyone recognizes beauty only because of ugliness

Everyone recognizes virtue only because of sin

Life and death are born together

Difficult and easy

Long and short

High and low — all these exist together and arrive together

Sound and silence blend together

Before and after

 

The Sage acts without action and teaches without talking

All things flourish around him and he does not refuse any one of them

He gives but not to receive

He works but not for reward

He completes but not for results

He does nothing for himself in this passing world so nothing he does ever passes

In this passage I was made to consider the duality of existence.  The dichotomy that sprang to mind for me was right vs wrong.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping the karate chop point): I don’t always have to be right. I don’t really believe that.  Of course I always have to be right.  There may be more to this.  I am open to looking at how my need to always be right might be hurting myself in other ways.  There are two sides to everything.  I suspect this verse may be telling me that there are some things that may be more important than being right.  I choose to consider each situation independently and consider prayerfully how important being right is.  I deeply and completely accept myself, even in my stubborn need to always be right.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…I always need to be right

Side of Eye…That has been a major force in my life

Under the Eye…Being right feels good

Under the Nose…I’m becoming aware that the cost may sometimes be too high

Chin…I choose to consider that I WANT to be right but I may not always NEED to be right

Collarbone…I am open to experiencing the difference

Under the Arm…Meditations on the Tao suggest that my need to be right drives my judgments that others are wrong

Top of Head…The Tao also suggests that accepting right and wrong as coexisting together rather than being separate is another option

Eyebrow…I sometimes get glimpses of that but certainly don’t live it

Side of Eye…I MUST be right all of the time

Under the Eye…No I don’t

Under the Nose…Sometimes relationships may be more important than proving I’m right

Chin…Taking action based on reasonable information may be preferable to researching to prove that I’m right before acting

Collarbone…I need to learn when enough is enough

Under the Arm…Being right can sometimes hurt other people

Top of Head…Obviously being right can sometimes hurt me too

Eyebrow…I choose to be open to learning a new way

Side of Eye…I choose to be open to practicing a new way

Under the Eye…I choose to be open to experiencing a new way

Under the Nose…Being right feels good

Chin…I hope to learn how to also accept not being right

Collarbone…It may not be as much tied to who I am as I previously thought

Under the Arm…Not proving that I’m right may not really be a life-ending disaster

Top of Head…I guess that is up to me

Eyebrow…I always have to be right

Side of Eye…That doesn’t feel as true for me as it did before

Under the Eye…One day at a time

Under the Nose…I am open to experiencing life as it comes

Chin…It is not about right or wrong

Collarbone…I think I’ll start by not needing to prove that others are wrong so that I can be right

Under the Arm…I choose to continue growing so that I don’t need others to be wrong

Top of Head…I choose to love and accept myself along this journey

My Cravings Always Win

cravings always win when faced with donutsAlthough this is not as true as it used to be, I do sometimes feel my cravings always win.  Some days are definitely worse than others.  What follows is a tapping exercise for those rough days.  One way to make this even more effective is to have the item you are craving right there where you can see it and smell it.  If you choose that option please be sure to rate the intensity of your craving on the 0-10 scale (10 is severe) before you get started.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping the karate chop point):  Even thought it seems like my cravings always win, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.  Even though it seems like my cravings always win, I choose to continue to try.  My cravings are part of me, and I accept myself.

 

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…My cravings always win

Side of Eye…So it doesn’t seem worth it to even try to resist

Under the Eye…I might as well just go ahead and eat it

Under the Nose…If I fight it and then lose, I just end up feeling worse

Chin…Even though it seems that my cravings always win

Collarbone…I know that it isn’t really true

Under the Arm…Sometimes I am able to resist

Top of Head…I am open to learning about what makes me more successful

Eyebrow…At one time and less successful at another

Side of Eye…My cravings don’t always win

Under the Eye…My cravings sometimes win

Under the Nose…In reality, my cravings aren’t against me

Chin…They are part of me

Collarbone…My cravings are a signal that something needs my attention

Under the Arm…I can choose to deal with it with or without food

Top of Head…I can choose to continue toward my goals

 

Take a deep breath and let it out.  Now say the statement aloud “My cravings always win” and re-rate the intensity.  What do you notice now?  Did anything shift?  Once the intensity is at or below a 3, consider tapping on what your cravings might be signaling for you.

My Brain is Lying To Me Right Now

woman sleepingDid you know that your brain can tell lies?  Perhaps it would be more kind to say that it misinterprets information.  The end result is the same. There have been multiple times when I have thought that I was hungry but my brain is lying.

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping your karate chop point): Even though my brain is lying to me right now and telling me I am hungry, I choose to remember that I ate a short while ago and this is just a misperception.  Even though my brain is lying to me right now and telling me that I should eat, I choose to remember my health goals. Even though my brain is telling me I am hungry, I know that this cannot be the truth and I choose not to eat based on a lie.

Eyebrow…I can’t sleep because I’m hungry

diagram of the tapping pointsSide of Eye…I want to get up out of bed and get a snack

Under the Eye…That will help me sleep

Under the Nose…No one can fall asleep when they are hungry

Chin…Certainly not me

Collarbone…But I know I’m not really hungry

Under the Arm…I ate a healthy meal just a few hours ago

Top of Head…My body got everything it needed

Eyebrow…What I’m feeling right now isn’t really hungry

Side of Eye…That is just what my brain is calling it

Under the Eye…I am probably tired, frustrated, angry, lonely, sad, or uncomfortable

Under the Nose…Food won’t fix any of those things

Chin…In fact, eating more food than my body needs will only make them worse

Collarbone…I choose to eat based on facts, not lies, misinterpretations, or misperceptions

Under the Arm…Even though I am convinced that I am hungry right now

Top of Head…I choose to love and accept myself just as I am.

Just Because Its There

Eating Food Just Because It Is ThereI confess.  Sometimes I eat food just because it is there.  I don’t think it really is  out of boredom because I’m almost never bored.  I have lots of things that I want to do and enjoy doing.  Perhaps it is just habit.

In the tapping example below I have added a tapping point that isn’t part of my regular tapping routine.  It is labeled wrists.  At the point turn the underside of your wrists toward each other and tap them together.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping karate chop point): Even though I have a tendency to eat food just because it is there, I love and accept myself, even though I have unhealthy behaviors.  Even though I eat food without any real good reason, I am learning to love and accept myself anyway.  Even though I eat food, and I don’t even know why, I choose to love and accept myself anyway.

 

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…I seem to eat food for no good reason

Side of Eye…If it is there — I eat it

Under the Eye…I eat food even when I’m not hungry

Under the Nose…Heck, sometimes I eat food that I don’t particularly like

Chin…My tendency to eat food just because it is available

Collarbone…Is not good for my body

Under the Arm…And when I notice what I am doing

Wrists…I feel like a failure

Top of Head…This tendency to constantly eat is not a behavior that I want to continue

Eyebrow…I’ve tried to manage it by not having food around

Side of Eye…But that isn’t realistic

Under the Eye…I can limit the choices, but it won’t stop my overeating

Under the Nose…I don’t really believe that I eat food just because it is there

Chin…I believe there is another reason. One I am not yet aware of

Collarbone…When I catch myself eating I choose to stop and consider why

Under the Arm…There is a reason behind everything I do

Wrists…It is up to me to figure out why

Top of Head…Then I can change my behavior more easily.

I Plan to Follow the Diet Plan Perfectly

weight loss This tapping includes a tapping point that I don’t always include.  At the spot labeled “wrist”, tap your wrists together so that the underside of one wrist taps on the inside of the other wrist.

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping the karate chop point):  I always plan to follow the diet perfectly.  Sometimes it doesn’t work out.  I can usually maintain it for a few hours, days, or weeks, but then I always fail.  Maybe the problem is my need to be perfect.  Since I can’t be perfect, I end up back where I started, or never get started.  This pattern isn’t working for me anymore.  I choose to try a different way.

Eyebrow…I always plan to diet perfectly

diagram of the tapping pointsSide of Eye…I always fail

Under the Eye…I am so tired of that failure

Under the Nose…I am so discouraged

Chin…Instead of following a diet plan perfectly

Collarbone…Maybe I can try a new way

Under the Arm…Those diets are someone else’s plan

Top of Head…I know a lot about diet, health, and nutrition

Eyebrow…I could make my own plan

Side of Eye…And follow it closely

Under the Eye…I could allow for some variation and change

Nose…Then there would be no real failure

Chin…Better yet, I could listen to my body

Collarbone…I usually listen to my emotions

Wrist…But my body knows what it needs and what is bad for it

Under the Arm…It gives me clear signals

Top of Head…I’m not perfect, so I might not always understand what my body wants and needs

Eyebrow…But I’ll probably get it right most of the time

Side of  Eye…And that would be much better than what I’m doing to myself right now

Under the Eye…I could view this as an experiment or an adventure

Under the Nose…That might help me to stop thinking in terms of perfection

Chin…Even though I’ve always tried to follow the plan perfectly

Collarbone…I haven’t had a perfect plan

Under the Arm…My new plan won’t be perfect either and I won’t follow it perfectly.

Top of Head…I choose to love and accept myself anyway and feel proud of whatever successes I have.

Judge Less and Listen More

prayer flagsThe tapping exercise below also comes from my study of the Tao Te Ching.

 

 

 

 

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping karate chop point): I have a tendency to make snap judgments about people, places, events, circumstances – really, just about everything. Even when I take the time to think about things, I’m still making judgments. I often pride myself on being a good listener, but I even make judgments about what I expect other people to say.  I sometimes start thinking about how I want to respond to what people are saying before they even finish saying it.  That is a definite clue that I’m not really listening.  Even though I have this tendency to judge, I choose to move toward judging less.  Even though I often fail to really listen to other people, I choose to move toward listening more.  Even though I have a tendency to judge and a tendency not to really listen, I choose to judge less and listen more.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…I am a very judgmental person

Side of Eye…That doesn’t feel like a very flattering statement

Under the Eye…I can hardly admit that to myself

Under the Nose…I certainly don’t want to admit that to anyone else either

Chin…Even the statement that something is good is a judgment

Collarbone…My need to evaluate or judge things is a sign of my resistance to just experiencing life as it comes

Under the Arm…It sounds to zen to say that there is no good or no bad – there just is

Top of Head…I’m not at a place where I really believe that

Eyebrow…I am open to learning to judge less

Side of Eye…I am open to believing that I could experience more of life without adding judgments about whatever is happening

Under the Eye…I may not be as good a listener as I would like to think

Under the Nose…I get caught up in my own thoughts and fail to really listen to the thoughts of others

Chin…If I am not listening to them – I’m still in my own reality

Collarbone…That means I can’t really understand where they are coming from

Under the Arm…I choose to listen more

Top of Head…I am excited to see where these choices will lead me

It Doesn’t Always Need a Label

Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life by Wayne DyerI have posted quite a few tapping examples lately that were based on my reading of the Tao Te Ching.  I was inspired to delve into the Tao Te Ching after reading Dr. Wayne Dyer’s book Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao.  His discussion of each of the verses has been very meaningful to me.  Considering the magnitude of change that embracing these lessons could bring caused me to start tapping while reading just to manage the anxiety.  Here is another tapping example.  I welcome your comments and questions and hope you will share your experiences.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping the karate chop point): According to Wayne Dyer’s advice we should practice letting go of always naming and labeling. This advice makes me feel sick to my stomach.  I’m really good at naming and labeling.  Naming and labeling is the way that I manage my life and my world.  I cannot imagine what life would be like without the names and labels.  While on one level I know that the names and labels don’t really define the thing, and that those names and labels really only define me – they make me feel safe and secure. In spite of this very, very, very, very strong tendency to name and label, I want to be open to experiencing the world without those names and labels.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…Names and labels

Side of Eye…I love them

Under the Eye…The idea that the names and labels may really limit my experience of the world isn’t new

Under the Nose..Even Shakespeare in Romeo and Juliet makes reference to that fact when discussing the rose

Chin…I just can’t imaging what it would be like to experience something without a name or label

Collarbone…That’s probably not true

Under the Arm…I experience things all of the time without names and labels

Top of Head…I usually tend to call it anxiety

Eyebrow…I call that out of control

Side of Eye…Or I make the judgment in response that I must be stupid because I cannot name or label it

Under the Eye…The Tao suggests that names and labels aren’t really necessary in order to experience the world

Under the Nose…The Tao also suggests that my need to label and name may stem from my inability to accept the mystery

Chin…So true!

Collarbone…The word mystery is very much like the word surprise to me

Under the Arm…Very scary stuff

Top of Head…I want to be open to the possibility that I could do it differently

Eyebrow…Maybe I could use my senses to understand something before jumping to the name

Side of Eye…I could lose myself in the fragrance or color of a flower before giving it a name

butterfly on flowerUnder the Eye…I want to experience being in the presence of a butterfly without knowing what kind it is

Under the Nose…I suspect that once I name it I really stop experiencing it

Chin…It is exciting to think that my experiences could be more intense and more real than ever before

Collarbone…I commit myself to more experiencing

Under the Arm…I commit myself to letting go of my need for instant names and labels

Top of Head…I commit myself to considering the mystery

I Don’t Have Time to Exercise

Getting Ready to ExerciseI don’t have time to exercise.”  I say these words a lot.  I’m a very busy person.  Intellectually I know that what I mean is that I don’t have time that I want to allocate to exercise, but the feeling that I don’t have time is quite real.  Tap along with the exercise and see what comes up for you.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (tapping on karate chop point): I don’t have time to exercise. I’m a very busy person.  Where would I find the time? I have way too many things to do so I don’t think I really have the time to exercise.  In spite of all my excuses about time to exercise, I choose to love and accept myself anyway.  Even though I have an amazing number of excuses about why I don’t have time to exercise, I honor that part of me that knows that I really do.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…I don’t have time to exercise

Side of Eye…Sometimes that feels really true

Under the Eye…Sometimes I know it is just an excuse

Under the Nose…I AM really busy

Chin…I have a lot on my plate

Collarbone…Other people rely upon me to get things done

Under the Arm…I often feel overwhelmed with all I have to do

Top of Head…Lets face it, adding exercise to the mix seems pretty daunting

Eyebrow…At the very least it could be quite inconvenient

Side of Eye…I don’t know how I would fit it into my day

Under the Eye…What other things would I have to give up?

Under the Nose…If I get other people to do their own stuff I could probably find some time to exercise

Chin…But that will mean conflict

Collarbone…If I asked for help with some of my own stuff I probably could find some time to exercise

Under the Arm…But asking for help is hard

Top of Head…I realize that I don’t have to do it all at once

Eyebrow…I could do a little bit at a time

Side of Eye…Like just parking one spot farther out in the parking lot

Under the Eye…If I really wanted to exercise

Under the Nose…I could be creative in my scheduling

Chin…The first step is deciding that I really want to do this

Collarbone…Then I can decide what exercise or exercises I want to do

Under the Arm…I might be fun to take a class

Top of Head…And learn something new

Eyebrow…I could get the whole family involved some of the time

Side of Eye…Or I could have this as “me time”

Under the Eye…It feels somewhat good to thing about doing this for myself

Under the Nose…I have the same amount of time each day

Chin…That everyone else does

Collarbone…It is up to me to decide how to use it

Under the Arm…I will have to make some choices

Top of Head….Making me a priority

Deeply Ashamed

This is a tapping exercise that I first used in 2011.  It pains me to tell you, but it was true again this week.  I am once again deeply ashamed of how out of control I am about food. In my own defense, it isn’t always true, but some things have obviously changed in my life and another aspect has clearly shown up, so I’m bringing this one back — for me.  Hopefully it will be beneficial for you too.

I have gained a little clarity about why the problem has returned.  I’ve noticed that the time right after work is the most perilous for me and I don’t have the same problem on the weekends usually.  There seems to be something about my lack of control with my job and my lack of control with food.  (We will likely address that in a tapping video very soon.

illustration for karate chop pointThe Setup (tapping on the karate chop point). I am so ashamed of my inability to control my eating. Even when I am eating, my brain and inner self often tell me to stop.  But I am out of control.  Something takes over and I just keep eating and eating and eating.  In spite of being like an out of control animal about food, I want to let go of the shame and guilt about this situation. Even though I have shame and guilt about my eating habits at times, I am trying to learn new skills and new ways of relating to food.  I get out of control around food and I am ashamed of my lack of control.  Even with this “character flaw” of mine, I choose to take baby steps to regain a healthier way of eating and living with food (although I’d definitely be ok with giant steps too.)

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…I am ashamed of my eating

Side of Eye…I am often out of control

Under the Eye…I should be able to control my eating better

Under the Nose…I should be able to control myself better

Chin…Its not like I don’t know any better

Collarbone…I blame myself for this

Under the Arm…I am supposed to be a smart person

Top of Head…Obviously Not!!!

Eyebrow…Other people would be appalled if they really knew how I am with food

Side of Eye…I am so ashamed of myself

Under the Eye…I’m not really out of control all of the time

Under the Nose…Just some of the time

Chin…But I am ashamed all of the time

Collarbone…That doesn’t make sense

Under the Arm…I don’t want to be out of control

Top of Head…I don’t want to feel so much guilt and shame either

Eyebrow…I wonder if there might be something about this that I could change

Side of Eye…I wonder if there is a way I could be more mindful about my eating

Under the Eye…I wonder if there is a way to be more gentle with myself

Under the Nose…Feeling out of control is scary

Chin…Guilt and shame are awful

Collarbone…I would like to feel a little bit better about myself

Under the Arm…I could probably let go of these feelings, at least sometimes

Top of Head…I can control myself when I eat salad

Eyebrow…I can control myself when I eat vegetables

Under the Eye…There’s no reason to feel guilt and shame there

Under the Nose…I can control myself when I eat apples

Chin…Another reason to reject guilt and shame

Collarbone…I may have a bad habit of guilt and shame

Under the Arm…I choose to stop beating myself up when it isn’t appropriate

Top of Head…I choose to love myself into better health