The tapping today is short, and at first glance might seem like it wouldn’t help. I encourage you to give it a try anyway. Put on your very best whiny voice and really throw yourself into it. Can you hear yourself, or someone else, saying that something isn’t fair? I’ve only written out one round, but that should be enough to get going. You might even want to throw yourself on the floor and have a tantrum — I’m not kidding. The more emotion you put behind this, the better the results.
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though it doesn’t feel fair that I have to diet while others eat all of the food they want, I deeply and completely love and accept myself just the way I am. Even though it isn’t fair that I have to limit my food in order to get to the weight I desire, I deeply and completely love and accept myself no matter what. Even though other people can eat more than I can and eat different foods than I can, I choose to focus on having the body I really want.
Eyebrow…Its not fair
Side of Eye…Its just not fair
Under the Eye…They can eat anything they want
Under the Nose…I can’t
Chin…Its not fair
Collarbone…I want to eat anything I want and still have a great body and good health
Think about the neck of the giraffe. Now imagine it reaching up to grab a tasty leaf hanging high above. The stretching and reaching associated with the giraffe may be physical, but the giraffe as a totem may also be instructing us about stretching and reaching for a goal or simply stretching ourselves beyond our comfort zone.
Say this statement aloud, “I’m afraid to leave my comfort zone.” How true does that feel on the 0-10 SUD scale?
Setup (Karate Chop Point): I have this image of the giraffe stretching and reaching with its amazingly long neck. I also have an image of myself closed safely into my comfort zone without taking any risks. In that image I am small like a mouse, not majestic and tall like a giraffe. Most of the time I reject the comfort zone image and will urge myself to stretch beyond whatever it is that I, or others, think I can accomplish. Although I would prefer to be continually reaching for more, I love and accept the part of myself that sometimes wishes for comfort and safety instead. Even though I feel that I don’t always risk enough, I love and accept myself completely. Even though sometimes I have trouble reaching, risking, or leaving my comfort zone I deeply and completely love, accept, and honor all parts of myself and choose to allow my intuition to guide me.
Eyebrow…Feeling small
Side of Eye…But wanting to be big
Under the Eye…Prefering to stay in my comfort zone
Under the Nose…But also wanting to reach for more
Chin…It is true that sometimes I take risks
Collarbone…But in reality
Under the Arm…It is less often than I wish
Top of Head…I like to imagine myself
Eyebrow…Sticking my neck out more often
Side of Eye…Sometimes I think about doing it
Under the Eye…And sometimes I actually do it
Under the Nose…And sometimes I don’t act at all
Chin…I’d like to know more about
Collarbone…My choices
Under the Arm…I would like to think that I am listening to my intuition
Top of Head…And that my intuition is flawlessly guiding me
Eyebrow…To take risks when appropriate
Side of Eye…And to stay in my comfort zone
Under the Eye…When that is in my best interest too
Under the Nose…But I suspect that it is my willingness
Chin…To listen to my intuition that really is making the difference
Collarbone…I definitely have more growth
Under the Arm…Coming my way in this risk taking thing
Top of Head…Perhaps my willingness to take a risk
Eyebrow…Or to reach for more
Side of Eye…And leave my comfort zone
Under the Eye…Is somehow a product of my values and priorities
Under the Nose…Actually makes some sense to me
Chin…Reaching for more may be much easier
Collarbone…When the goal I’m reaching for is very important
Under the Arm…And when the goal is neutral or perhaps not really desirable
Top of Head…I hold back
Eyebrow…So when I think about reaching for more
Side of Eye…I need to identify some things
Under the Eye…That are worth reaching for
Under the Nose…Things that feel important
Chin…Things that match my values
Collarbone…Reaching for more
Under the Arm…Reaching for more purpose
Top of Head…Reaching for what matters
Take a deep breath and let it out gently. Say the starting statement aloud again, “I’m afraid to leave my comfort zone.” Re-rate the emotional reaction on the 0-10 scale and notice any change.
Do you ever feel like giving up because dieting is too hard? I think we have all felt that way, not just about dieting, but about a lot of things. This short tapping may be just what you need to renew your motivation for self care.
Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though it feels like dieting is just to hard, I am open to considering baby steps that could make a difference for me. Even though it feels like dieting is just too hard, I choose to remember that I don’t have to do it all at once. Even though is feels like dieting is just too hard, I love and accept myself anyway.
Eyebrow…Dieting is just too hard
Side of Eye…I don’t want to do anything that is so hard
Under the Eye…It is just too hard
Under the Nose…It seems overwhelming to me
Chin…It is so hard that I don’t think I can even face it
Collarbone…Dieting is just too hard
Under the Arm…It is too hard
Top of Head…Dieting is way too hard
Eyebrow…Dieting is so very hard
Side of Eye…But I am open to some baby steps towards my goals
Under the Eye…Dieting seems way too hard
Under the Nose…But I don’t have to do it all at once
Chin…Dieting is just too hard
Collarbone…I choose to love and accept myself anyway
Under the Arm…I am open to the possibility that it could be easier than I think
Top of Head…I choose to look for the possibility of success
This probably sounds more like advice for a sporting endeavor rather than parenting advice, although I could make a good case that parenting is a sporting event. What I am really speaking about here is the need to set things up as much as possible so that kids are able to do what we want them to rather than waiting until they mess up so we can punish them.
For example, if Mark always runs away from his mom when she takes him with her to the grocery store, why does she take him with her? When I ask mom that, she is likely to tell me that she doesn’t have any other choice or that he begged to come with her and promised he wouldn’t do it this time. While sometimes there really is no other choice, most of the time we can come up with other options such as paying a babysitter, trading off babysitting with a friend or family member, or asking someone else to pick up what you need from the store. Believing Mark’s promise is a setup for failure.
Consider Bethany who generally irritates and annoys her playmates in the first 30 minutes when they get together because of her bossiness and tantrums. Her mom and dad know this, but continue to schedule play dates for her and allow her to play for extended periods of time with only intermittent supervision until the real fighting and yelling starts between Bethany and her friends.
In both of these cases, the parents need to take a more active role in supervision and decision-making. The case of Bethany may be a bit easier. Bethany’s parents need to schedule shorter playtimes until Bethany can demonstrate that she can handle extended visits from her friends. Bethany’s parents also need to remain present to actively supervise Bethany’s play and teach her better ways to interact with her peers. Think of the teaching, interacting, limit-setting, and supervision as the offensive plan for more prosocial behavior in Bethany’s future. Of course the goal is to gradually decrease the amount of parental intervention, but only when she is ready to handle it.
For Mark, mom may need to set up situations in which she takes him with her, but has planned for a clear exit at the first sign of his misbehavior. Expectations are reviewed prior to going into the store. If he breaks a rule, mom takes him out of the store immediately and he experiences consequences as soon as possible. He is not allowed to try again for at least the next 5 visits mom makes to the store. A visual chart to show him how long he must wait because of his behavior might be helpful. Alternatively, someone else could be designated to remove Mark from the store and take him home to wait for mom while she continues shopping. Again, Mark experiences consequences immediately for his behavior and is not allowed to try again for a specified time.
In both of these cases, there is significant pre-planning and energy on the parents’ part. You may also see these as punishments, and in some sense you would be right. For Mark, there are definite consequences for misbehavior, but he is not allowed to continue bad behavior once it begins. Further, there is a predetermined plan for dealing with the anticipated behavior rather than a blind hope that it won’t occur again this time. For Bethany, there is an emphasis on more structure and limits that acknowledges her current level of function and does not allow her the opportunity to exceed her ability to cope.
With a good offense, you could expect significantly more parental satisfaction and reduced stress. Does this sound overwhelming? Learn meridian tapping to reduce your distress.
This tapping seemed appropriate since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. It is a day that highlights both the good and the not so good about being in a relationhip. Although we seem to want intimate relationships, they can be quite stressful. This is an area where people tend to judge whether their feelings are justified PRIOR to deciding to tap. I urge you to begin tapping without judgement.
Say this statement aloud “My husband (boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, significant other, etc) never pays enough attention to me.” Rate the intensity on the 0-10 point scale and record your rating.
Tap on your karate chop point and repeat these setup statements. “Even though my husband doesn’t pay attention to me the way I want him to, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though my husband has been a selfish jerk lately and hasn’t paid much attention to me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I want more attention from my hsuband and I don’t know how to get it from him, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”
Eyebrow…My husband never pays enough attention to me
Side of Eye…My husband never pays enough attention to me
Under the Eye…My husband never pays enough attention to me
Under the Nose…My husband never pays enough attention to me
Chin…My husband never pays enough attention to me
Collarbone…My husband never pays enough attention to me
Under the Arm…My husband never pays enough attention to me
Top of Head…My husband never pays enough attention to me
Take a deep breath and let it out gently. Continue with the following reminder phrases at each of the tapping spots
Eyebrow…My husband never pays enough attention to me
Side of Eye…And I need his attention
Under the Eye…It feels like he doesn’t care about me at all
Under the Nose…I do all kinds of things for him
Chin…But he doesn’t do anything for me
Collarbone…I know that is not really true
Under the Arm…He does things for me
Top of Head…Just not the things I want him to do right now
Eyebrow…I’m not getting what I want from him
Side of Eye…And, rather than tell him what I want
Under the Eye…I want him to guess
Under the Nose…That’s not working so well for me
Chin…I want his attention and I’m afraid to just ask for it
Collarbone…I wonder what it is that I really want or need right now?
Under the Arm…Asking for what I want or need is the best thing I could do
Top of Head…I feel relieved to realize that my husband does pay attention to me and I choose to feel empowered to ask to have my needs met.
Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Check the intesnity of your original problem statement, “My husband never pays enough attention to me.” Notice any changes and make notes for future tapping. This is a complex topic and likely to need some additional tapping to resolve all of the aspects. This tapping is an adaptation of one found in Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT.
What kinds of excuses do you use to skip out on exercise? I’ve heard (and used) many creative excuses. One of my favorites is “If I exercise now I will be too tired later.” This tapping script is to help eliminate this excuse and get you (and me) back on track.
Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though I am avoiding exercise right now, I love and accept myself anyway. Even though I am worried that I will be too tired later if I exercise now, I acknowledge that I am a work in progress. Even though I am worried that I will be too tired to do the rest of the things I have planned for my day if I exercise now, I know that I can change this negative way of thinking.
Eyebrow…If I exercise now I wil be too tired later
Side of Eye…I am already tired
Under the Eye…How can I do the things I need to do if I exercise now?
Under the Nose…I know I am just making excuses
Chin…But they seem to have worked for me before
Collarbone…At least they have worked to keep me from exercising
Under the Arm…This excuse hasn’t helped me to get any healthier
Top of Head…I know that it isn’t even true
Eyebrow…When I do exercise I am tired for a little while
Side of Eye…And then I have even more energy
Under the Eye…When I exercise regularly
Under the Nose…My energy level stays up
Chin…This is just a negative message my brain has made up
Collarbone…To keep me right where I am
Under the Arm…It isn’t a good message
Top of Head…It isn’t even a true message
Eyebrow…This is a message I could ignore
Side of Eye…Sometimes my brain tells me things that aren’t true
Under the Eye…Things like “I’m hungry” right after I’ve eaten
Under the Nose…Or things like “If you eat sugar you’ll feel better”
Chin…Sometimes these messages are really hard to ignore
Collarbone…It is exciting when I can tell the difference
Under the Arm…I am learning to be better about making decisions based on my goals
Top of Head…I may not be excited about exercising right now, but I don’t have to worry about being too tired later
Do you feel like exercising? Go work out while your motivation is high. Did a new excuse crop up? Keep tapping on each excuse and hopefully gain clarity about your real reasons for avoiding exercise.
This tapping and others like it can be found in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping. I’d love to hear your feedback.
The ostrich is a totem for wisdom. How do you react to others who have more experience than you do? Do you invite and welcome their wisdom into your life or do you insist on figuring everything out yourself? Do you rely to much on others rather than trusting in your own wisdom? This short tapping exercise may help you become more aware of your issues in this area.
Setup (Karate Chop Point): Having others aroun dis important to me. Being able to learn from their experience and draw upon their wisdom when I am faced with new challenges or overwhelming situations is really beneficial. Also, there really is safety in numbers. I’m feeling pretty isolated right now, but I love and accept myself anyway. I want the safety of my herd. I love and accept myself. I crave the wise counsel of others. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Eyebrow…I feel like an ostrich
Side of Eye…Seeking safety in numbers
Under the Eye…And attempting to protect myself
Under the Nose…By hanging out with the crowd
Chin…Watching how others handle things
Collarbone…Is how I learn
Under the Arm…I need to be careful about who I watch
Top of Head…I can learn what works
Eyebrow…And I can learn what doesn’t
Side of Eye…I just have to be smart enough
Under the Eye…To know the difference
Under the Nose…I feel like an ostrich
Chin…That can be good or not so good
Collarbone…I like having a group around me
Under the Arm…It keeps me safe
Top of Head…It helps me grow
As I noted before, this was a short tapping just to get your own thoughts and feelings moving. Write down any thoughts or feelings that you noticed while tapping. Are there specific situations in which you sought out the safety of the crowd that didn’t go as well as you wanted? Tap about those. Were there situations in which you chose to follow the example that was a what not to do instead of a what to do? Those would be good to tap about as well.
Believe it or not, this is a very old tapping exercise, but it seems appropriate for today’s social climate. It was included in a chapter about current stressors in my first book Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom with EFT. This tapping is about the intense emotions people experience when talking about politics.
Some people may actually be afraid to do this tapping because they equate the decrease in intense emotions with lack of conviction. Tapping on the intense emotions will not take away your conviction but it will allow for better control and more ease around others that may believe differently than you do.
The story begins with Joe, a normally reasonable and mild-mannered man who was having difficulty at family gatherings because his political views were radically different from those of other family members. Joe and his wife actually dreaded holidays such as Thanksgiving where there was extended contact that allowed ample time for such discussions. Joe really wanted to be able to control his emotions better when family members disagreed with him, failed to listen to his views, or even provoked him to just get a reaction. Tapping was a perfrect tool for the situation.
Is this scenario something you can relate to? Let’s tap.
Say this problem statement aloud, “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Rate the intensity (or truth) of this statement on a 0-10 scale (10 is very true). Write down your number.
Say these setup statements while tapping on the karate chop point: Even though I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I get really angry when other people don’t agree with my political views, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though it feels like other people aren’t respecting my political views when they disagree with me, and I don’t handle it very well, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and all of my feels on this subject.
Eyebrow…I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views
Side of Eye…I get pretty upset when others disagree with my politics
Under the Eye…It is dangerous to discuss politics with anyone that doesn’t agree with my view
Under the Nose…Because I can’t handle it
Chin…I’m so sure that my political views are right
Collarbone…That I can’t handle it when anyone has a different opinion
Under the Arm…I can’t handle it when anyone can’t see the value of my political views
Top of Head…I can’t handle any challenge to my political views without getting very upset
Take a deep breath and let it out. Check the intensity of your original problem statement “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Record your new rating. Continue tapping with these statements until your intensity rating is low. Once your rating is below a 3 or 4, feel free to move on to the positive affirmation reminder phrases below.
Eyebrow…Even though I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views right now
Side of Eye…I am trying to maintain an open mind
Under the Eye…Even though I haven’t been able to handle it as well as I would like in the past
Under the Nose…I am open to feeling more comfortable with challenges to my views in the future
Chin…Even though I’m pretty convinced that I am right
Collarbone…I am trying to be okay with others’ opinions
Under the Arm…Even when I feel they are wrong
Top of Head…I love and respect my own views and calmly allow allows to have their views.
Take a deep breath and let it out gently. Check the intensity of your original problem statement “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Write down your new rating.
If politics is one of your stressors, be sure to notice what additional thoughts and feelings come up and write them down for future tapping. It may be important for you to tap on those additional issues.
Unfortunately I am no stranger to feeling out of control with food. It is a huge issue that I have not completely eliminated. Fortunately the fear of of losing control is something that rarely sneaks up on me, so when I first notice it I can usually find relief in tapping. What follows is a short tapping that you can use when you start to worry about losing control.
Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though I am afraid I will lose control if confronted with any of my favorite foods, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I am afraid that I will lose control and eat too much or eat foods that are not healthy for me, I choose to focus on loving myself and my healthy body instead. Even though I am afraid that I will lose control and eat like a pig, I choose to feel calm and confident, even twhen those comfort foods are readily available.
Eyebrow…I am afraid I will lose control
Side of Eye…I am afraid I will eat like a pig
Under the Eye…I am afraid my food plan will go right out the window
Under the Nose…I can’t control myself around those foods
Chin…I am afraid I will lose control
Collarbone…I am afraid I will eat too much
Under the Arm…I am afraid I will eat unhealthy foods
Top of Head…I am afraid I will lose control
Continue with these or similar phrases until you feel relief
Did you benefit from this tapping? I’d love to hear about your success.
