Have you ever become stuck because you were imagining all of the terrible things that could happen when you are faced with a pretty big challenge? While I think we all know that it is wasted energy, it is a natural freeze response that occurs, particularly when we are not in charge and not in control of the outcome. This tapping is intended to help you move on from fear/panic to confident/calm.
Month: May 2019
I Already Blew It
There is a thing that happens when we get off track with our diet plan. The thought “I might as well eat whatever I want because I already blew it” pops in. Sometimes I am able to think “get back on track right now”, but usually I set some date in the future to resume healthy eating. The tapping exercise below may help.
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – I already blew my diet so I might as well eat whatever I want. There’s no point in controlling my food now. I’ve already pointed the guilt finger at myself. I’m already wallowing in blame. So I might as well eat. Even though all of these things are true, I want to love and accept myself anyway. It is pretty hard to love and accempt myself with all of this guilt and shame, but I am open to the possibility that I could do it. Even though I am a quitter and planning to give up immediately just because I slipped off my food plan, I want to choose to start again right now.
Eyebrow…I already blew it
Side of Eye…I already ate something that is on my forbidden list
Under the Eye…I ate way too much of it too
Under the Nose…I feel the guilt and shame
Chin…I might as well go ahead and eat whatever I want
Collarbone…That is what quitters do
Under the Arm…I am a guilt and shameful quitter
Top of Head…Ouch. That smarts.
Eyebrow…Sometimes I give up
Side of Eye…Sometimes I don’t
Under the Eye…I don’t have to give up just because I made a mistake
Under the Nose…I have options
Chin…I have choices
Collarbone…”I already blew it” might not be totally accurate
Under the Arm…I wouldn’t tell anyone else to give up just because of a simple error
Top of Head…I am not going to tell myself that right now either. I can start back on my food plan whenever I choose, including now.
This example is shorter and for illustration only. With a topic like this, I probably would not switch from the negative to the positive so quickly in real life. After the first round of negative tapping I recommend checking in to see how much change has occurred. In this case “I already blew it” should have an intensity below 3 before moving on to the positive tapping in order to fully deal with this issue.
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Happy Tapping.
All The Plates Will Fall – Resistance to Meditation Part III
I am still resistant to doing meditation and I apparently have an abundance of excuses about why I can’t meditate. I find that mildly humorous since I have been re-reading one of my favorite books, Eat Pray Love, in which there is at least a third of the book that addresses meditation.
One of my excuses is that it feels like all of the plates will fall down (the ones I have to keep spinning) if I stop to meditate. Although not as bad as at other times in my life, I often feel frantic because of all that I try to do and accomplish. Just a momentary lapse in trying to control my universe feels like it would be a disaster.
Setup (Karate Chop point) – Even though I am still resisting meditation I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though I have what seems to be a million excuses why I can’t meditate, I choose to relax and know that I am ok just as I am. Even though it often feels like the world will tumble down around me if I stop to meditate for even a minute, I love and accept myself with or without all of my excuses.
Eyebrow…I am still resisting meditation
Side of Eye…No matter how much I promise myself that I will do it
Under the Eye…I just can’t seem to stop for long enough
Under the Nose…And just considering it feels like I am courting disaster
Chin…While I logically know that meditation will help me do almost anything better
Collarbone…And with more ease
Under the Arm…It feels just the opposite
Top of Head…If feels like stopping to meditate
Eyebrow…Will allow all of those plates that I am trying to keep spinning in my life
Side of Eye…To fall to the ground and smash into tiny pieces
Under the Eye…Nothing but constant vigilance
Under the Nose…Can keep that from happening
Chin…This doesn’t seem to be just about meditation
Collarbone…But also about the lifestyle that I have accepted
Under the Arm…I may have to address more than one thing
Top of Head…In order to be successful with meditation
Eyebrow…I choose to consider the possibility
Side of Eye…That all of this is an illusion
Under the Eye…To keep myself safe
Under the Nose…Safe from what?
Chin…Probably safe from myself
Collarbone…Just like avoiding meditation, I can be my own worst enemy
Under the Arm…It might be time to consider a change
Top of Head…I could gently put down the plates
Eyebrow…I could ask someone to spin them for me
Side of Eye…Or I could let the plates take care of themselves during my meditation time
Under the Eye…The plates obviously take care of themselves when I am sleeping and my world doesn’t crumble
Under the Nose…The plates obviously take care of themselves when I am at work (at least most of the time)
Chin…I think I have revealed this to just be an excuse
Collarbone…And now I might consider letting it go
Under the Arm…I may still resist meditation and that is ok
Top of Head…But fear of falling plates is not a valid reason to avoid it
Take a deep breath and let it out gently. It is likely that different thoughts popped into your mind. For me, I think I have some work to do about my serious control issues.
Happy Tapping.
I Can Ignore My Health
Just for today, I can ignore my health. That is a great example of unhealthy thinking. But it is also an example of something most of us really think. If you think it is harmful to your body why do you want to eat it on your birthday, or any other time? I don’t have an answer for you, but I do have a short tapping to get you started.
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I feel entitled to overeat on my birthday, I choose to keep my goals in mind. I feel that I really deserve to blow my diet since it is a special occasion but I choose to consider finding ways to celebrate without hurting my body or my health. Even though there is a possibility that I will “blow it”, I deeply and completely accept myself including the parts of me that want this indulgence.
Eyebrow…It’s my birthday
Side of Eye…I deserve to eat whatever I want
Under the Eye…It doesn’t seem fair to have to say no to food on my birthday
Under the Nose…I want steak or lobster
Chin…I want cake and ice cream
Collarbone…I want pancakes and bacon for breakfast
Under the Arm…How can my day be special without those things?
Top of Head…Of course I could eat all of that but just eat smaller portions
Eyebrow..But I’m not sure that would satisfy me either
Side of Eye…Shouldn’t I be able to have whatever I want on my birthday?
Under the Eye…The answer is yes. But, maybe I should look closer at what I really want.
Under the Nose…Will those foods make me feel good about myself?
Chin…No they won’t
Collarbone…Will overeating make me feel loved?
Under the Arm…No it won’t
Top of Head…I want to choose to find ways to love myself on my birthday without hurting my health
Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Now is the time to keep tapping with the answers to some of those questions. What do you really want? How can you show yourself love without hurting your health?
BONUS TAPPING: Name 3 comfort foods. While tapping through the points, describe them in as much detail as you possibly can. Continue tapping while you describe your first memory of these foods. Spend some time thinking about what these foods mean to you, when you crave them the most, and how you feel when you eat them.
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Happy Tapping.
Cardinal – Tapping Meditation
This tapping meditation was inspired by a friend of mine. Enjoy!
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I’m Not Good At It
An earlier post described one of my excuses that it takes too long. Today’s post addresses a second excuse “I’m not good at it.”If you’ve been following along you know that I have a resistance to meditation even though I know all of the benefits, have recommended it to others, and generally believe it would be a good thing in my life.
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I’m not good at meditation, I’m okay. Even though I’m not good at meditation, and I have lots of examples to support that, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and my belief that I have to be good at everything I do. Even though I’m not good at meditation, I choose to relax and go with the flow.
Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation
Side of Eye…And I’ve got proof
Under the Eye…As soon as I sit to meditate something hurts
Under the Nose…And that distracts me
Chin…And I have to move to make it stop hurting
Collarbone…And then when that stops hurting
Under the Arm…Then something else starts to hurt
Top of Head…So I never get anything accomplished by trying to meditate
Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation
Side of Eye…I get a serious case of monkey brain
Under the Eye…The thoughts in my head seem to actually speed up
Under the Nose…Until there are no gaps between them
Chin…It could be my to-do list
Collarbone…It could be random things like why grapes come in so many different colors
Under the Arm…Or trying to decide what book I want to read next
Top of Head…So I never get anything accomplished when I try to meditate
Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation
Side of Eye…A lot of the time if I am too comfortable I fall asleep
Under the Eye…While that may address the relaxation part of meditation
Under the Nose…It does nothing to help with learning to control my mind
Chin…And isn’t that the point of it all?
Collarbone…I seem to have a lot of rules and expectations about meditation for myself
Under the Arm…That I don’t have for anyone else
Top of Head…And they are getting in my way
Eyebrow…Monkey Brain is just part of the process
Side of Eye…And so are the distractions coming from my body
Under the Eye…I know I am not supposed to judge them
Under the Nose…But I definitely do
Chin…I judge the distractions and I judge myself for having them
Collarbone…I think it is time for a different approach
Under the Arm…I’ve done long weekends of meditation before
Top of Head…And they were generally miserable
Eyebrow…But it doesn’t have to miserable when I meditate on my own
Side of Eye…There are no rules
Under the Eye…Unless I make them
Under the Nose…I could choose to take a gentler approach
Chin…And I could even redefine what being good at meditation means
Collarbone…I like that idea. I could define being good at meditation with being consistent
Top of Head…Beginning today, being good at meditation simply means doing meditation.
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Those Same 5 Pounds
Have you lost the same 5, 10, or 15 pounds over and over again? You work really hard to get them off, yet you seem to gain them back almost over night. Then, you do it all over again. This sequence of events is addressed in today’s tapping example.
Tapping
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before; however, I choose to be amazed at how easy it will be to keep it off this time. Even though I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before I respect my choice to lose it, or not lose it again. Even though I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before I love and accept myself with or without those 5 pounds.
Eyebrow…I am so depressed
Side of Eye…Because I’ve lost the same 5 pounds before
Under the Eye…Not just once
Under the Nose…But over and over again
Chin…That feels like failure to me
Collarbone…I know it doesn’t have to keep happening that way
Under the Arm…But it feels like this cycle will never stop
Top of Head…I acknowledge my frustration
Eyebrow…I acknolwedge that I am feeling bad about this
Side of Eye…I don’t want to continue the struggle
Under the Eye…I would like to find a way to make this easier
Under the Nose…Stressing out over it won’t help me reach my goal
Chin…I am proud of myself for not giving up
Collarbone…I’d like to keep it off this time
Under the Arm…And I am open to having it be much easier
Top of Head…I love and accept myself, with or without this struggle.
Take a deep breath and let it out gently. How do you feel about the 5 pounds now? This exercise isn’t really about the 5 pounds. Most people’s weight fluctuates and the truth is that the ups happen much more easily for some people than the downs. How we feel about those fluctuations is the real issue and can set us up for even more difficulty. The key to this exercise is asserting that you can love and accept yourself no matter what your weight.
Bonus Exercise
Are you feeling brave? If so, take a look at your stomach. Take a really good look at it from the front, the side, clothed, and naked. Write down the first words that pop into your mind and then tap about those.
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Happy Tapping.
It Takes Too Long – Resistance to Meditation Part 1.
I promised you a tapping exercise to address resistance to meditation and I’m a girl who keeps her promises, except those made to herself when I promise I’m going to meditate. Guess how many times I meditated since I posted the article about the benefits of meditation. That’s right! Zero! I had better get started tapping to discover what the problem(s) actually might be.
The first excuse that popped into my head was “It takes too long.” I’m going to use that as my problem statement or MPI (most pressing issue) and I would rate that as an 8 on my 10-point SUD scale. (Very true)
Setup (karate chop point) – Even though I can’t meditate because it takes too long, I deeply and completely love and accept myself right now. Even though I can’t meditate because it takes to long and I already feel like there are not enough hours in the day, I deeply and completely love and accept myself right now and am open to new wisdom. Even though I can’t meditate because it takes too long, I love myself and accept myself, even with my excuses, and am open to seeing this in a different way.
Eyebrow…I can’t meditate
Side of Eye…It takes too long
Under the Eye…I don’t have enough time
Under the Nose…For all of the things I need to do
Chin…Or the things I want to do
Collarbone…This resistance to meditation
Under the Arm…It takes too long
Top of Head…I can’t meditate
Eyebrow…I can’t quit going to work
Side of Eye…And I really can’t go without my sleep
Under the Eye…My exercising is important too
Under the Nose…Nobody would tell me to quit exercising
Chin…I guess I can’t meditate
Collarbone…I wonder if there is a different way to look at this?
Under the Arm…I don’t think so
Top of Head…But what if there is?
Eyebrow…The article in Science Daily said that the benefits show up after just one meditation session
Side of Eye…If that is true it could make everything else I do easier
Under the Eye…And more effective
Under the Nose…Creating even more time for meditation
Chin…But it feels like I will have to give something up
Collarbone…And probably something I enjoy
Under the Arm…Or can already see the benefit of doing
Top of Head…I DO NOT want to give anything up
Eyebrow…If time is really my issue
Side of Eye…I wonder if there is some other way
Under the Eye…I really do believe that meditation is beneficial
Under the Nose…And I feel like a hypocrite
Chin…I’ve been recommending meditation to other people for years
Collarbone…I ususally tell them that they don’t have to do it for a long time
Under the Arm…And that they can start with just 5 minutes if that is all the time they can spare
Top of Head…If I’m really honest, I probably could find 5 minutes
Eyebrow…I could probably dedicate 5 minutes at work
Side of Eye…Which is my least favorite portion of my day
Under the Eye…And when I need it most
Under the Nose…I’d probably have to set a reminder on my phone
Chin…Because there is always work to fill that time
Collarbone…If I don’t set a high priority reminder.
Under the Arm..I don’t have time to meditate
Top of Head…Truthfully, yes I do.
Taking a deep breath and letting it out gently. When I say that problem statement again the intensity is down to about a 3 or 4. That’s a lot better but I know I haven’t cleared the whole issue because my certainty that I will meditate tomorrow at work is still pretty low. That means that my resistance to meditation must have several different aspects (factors) that create the problem. If I were to take a wild guess, some of the aspects that still need work are my belief that I’m not very good at it (from past experience), my anxiety that I will not be able to put all of my other stressors aside for even 5 minutes without more stress building up, and some internal dialogue that somehow I must be inadequate because I need meditation. Those thoughts came up in the background while doing the previous tapping and should keep me busy for a while.
I hope you tapped along and found it useful. I’d love to hear about your experiences with the tapping. Let me know what happened for you or how you motivate yourself to meditate.
Happy Tapping!
Talk About Yourself
The new wisdom is: don’t talk TO yourself, talk ABOUT yourself. I grew up hearing that if you talked to yourself it was bad. It was even worse if you referred to yourself in third person. According to Science Daily, researchers at Michigan State University found that talking about yourself in third person can help to reduce stress.
The rationale for this is very similar to something I have been saying for a long time. We need to shift perspective and get emotional distance when we are in a stressful situation. What these researchers are saying is that by talking about ourselves and the situation in third person it creates the change in perspective and allows the emotional distance that is otherwise very difficult to accomplish. Otherwise, we tend to get stuck in seeing things from inside our emotions.
So, instead of saying OMG, OMG, OMG over and over again, it might be better to ask “Why is Lea so upset?” or “What is Lea seeing that is causing her to be frightened?” Another example, “I am angry.” or “I am noticing some tension in my shoulders that I interpret as anger.”
This might take some practice but seems very reasonable. I think I might just try to think the thoughts rather than speaking out loud. Whoever is listening might have grown up like I did and would worry about me.
I Feel Shame About My Eating
One of the most frequent comments I get about tapping is that people don’t know where to start. They know, or have some basic idea, what the problem is but they get all hung up on the words. It is worth repeating – the words themselves are not magic. Tapping without words still works. I always encourage people to start where they are. After you start tapping, inspiration will come. The following tapping models how to tap about feeling shame about eating. It starts with the very basic setup “Even though I feel ashamed about my eating” and uses the reminder phrase “This eating shame.”
Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I feel ashamed about my eating I choose to love and accept myself anyway. Even though I feel ashamed about my eating, I choose to love and accept myself unconditionally. Even though I feel ashamed about my eating, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Eyebrow…This eating shame
Side of Eye…This eating shame
Under the Eye…This eating shame
Under the Nose…This eating shame
Chin…This eating shame
Collarbone…This eating shame
Under the Arm…This eating shame
Top of Head…This eating shame
So you might look at this and think, “She just repeated the same thing over and over.” That’s right! You can make a lot of headway just repeating that phrase if it really is what you are feeling. Then, when you start feeling or thinking something different, tap on that. Keep repeating until you feel a shift. In my experience, something always comes up. It might be a memory of when someone else shamed you about your eating. I can share with you that when I did this one about 10 times a memory popped up of someone specifically saying to me “You should be ashamed of yourself.” That was my next thing to tap on in order to release the shame.
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Happy Tapping.