Not In Control

Have you ever become stuck because you were imagining all of the terrible things that could happen when you are faced with a pretty big challenge? While I think we all know that it is wasted energy, it is a natural freeze response that occurs, particularly when we are not in charge and not in control of the outcome. This tapping is intended to help you move on from fear/panic to confident/calm.

I Already Blew It

There is a thing that happens when we get off track with our diet plan. The thought “I might as well eat whatever I want because I already blew it” pops in. Sometimes I am able to think “get back on track right now”, but usually I set some date in the future to resume healthy eating. The tapping exercise below may help.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – I already blew my diet so I might as well eat whatever I want. There’s no point in controlling my food now. I’ve already pointed the guilt finger at myself. I’m already wallowing in blame. So I might as well eat. Even though all of these things are true, I want to love and accept myself anyway. It is pretty hard to love and accempt myself with all of this guilt and shame, but I am open to the possibility that I could do it. Even though I am a quitter and planning to give up immediately just because I slipped off my food plan, I want to choose to start again right now.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I already blew it

Side of Eye…I already ate something that is on my forbidden list

Under the Eye…I ate way too much of it too

Under the Nose…I feel the guilt and shame

Chin…I might as well go ahead and eat whatever I want

Collarbone…That is what quitters do

Under the Arm…I am a guilt and shameful quitter

Top of Head…Ouch. That smarts.

Eyebrow…Sometimes I give up

Side of Eye…Sometimes I don’t

Under the Eye…I don’t have to give up just because I made a mistake

Under the Nose…I have options

Chin…I have choices

Collarbone…”I already blew it” might not be totally accurate

Under the Arm…I wouldn’t tell anyone else to give up just because of a simple error

Top of Head…I am not going to tell myself that right now either. I can start back on my food plan whenever I choose, including now.

This example is shorter and for illustration only. With a topic like this, I probably would not switch from the negative to the positive so quickly in real life. After the first round of negative tapping I recommend checking in to see how much change has occurred. In this case “I already blew it” should have an intensity below 3 before moving on to the positive tapping in order to fully deal with this issue.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

Want more tapping exercises like this one? Click here.

Happy Tapping.

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

All The Plates Will Fall – Resistance to Meditation Part III

I am still resistant to doing meditation and I apparently have an abundance of excuses about why I can’t meditate. I find that mildly humorous since I have been re-reading one of my favorite books, Eat Pray Love, in which there is at least a third of the book that addresses meditation.

One of my excuses is that it feels like all of the plates will fall down (the ones I have to keep spinning) if I stop to meditate. Although not as bad as at other times in my life, I often feel frantic because of all that I try to do and accomplish. Just a momentary lapse in trying to control my universe feels like it would be a disaster.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop point) – Even though I am still resisting meditation I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though I have what seems to be a million excuses why I can’t meditate, I choose to relax and know that I am ok just as I am. Even though it often feels like the world will tumble down around me if I stop to meditate for even a minute, I love and accept myself with or without all of my excuses.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I am still resisting meditation

Side of Eye…No matter how much I promise myself that I will do it

Under the Eye…I just can’t seem to stop for long enough

Under the Nose…And just considering it feels like I am courting disaster

Chin…While I logically know that meditation will help me do almost anything better

Collarbone…And with more ease

Under the Arm…It feels just the opposite

Top of Head…If feels like stopping to meditate

Eyebrow…Will allow all of those plates that I am trying to keep spinning in my life

Side of Eye…To fall to the ground and smash into tiny pieces

Under the Eye…Nothing but constant vigilance

Under the Nose…Can keep that from happening

Chin…This doesn’t seem to be just about meditation

Collarbone…But also about the lifestyle that I have accepted

Under the Arm…I may have to address more than one thing

Top of Head…In order to be successful with meditation

Eyebrow…I choose to consider the possibility

Side of Eye…That all of this is an illusion

Under the Eye…To keep myself safe

Under the Nose…Safe from what?

Chin…Probably safe from myself

Collarbone…Just like avoiding meditation, I can be my own worst enemy

Under the Arm…It might be time to consider a change

Top of Head…I could gently put down the plates

Eyebrow…I could ask someone to spin them for me

Side of Eye…Or I could let the plates take care of themselves during my meditation time

Under the Eye…The plates obviously take care of themselves when I am sleeping and my world doesn’t crumble

Under the Nose…The plates obviously take care of themselves when I am at work (at least most of the time)

Chin…I think I have revealed this to just be an excuse

Collarbone…And now I might consider letting it go

Under the Arm…I may still resist meditation and that is ok

Top of Head…But fear of falling plates is not a valid reason to avoid it

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. It is likely that different thoughts popped into your mind. For me, I think I have some work to do about my serious control issues.

Happy Tapping.

I Can Ignore My Health

Just for today, I can ignore my health. That is a great example of unhealthy thinking. But it is also an example of something most of us really think. If you think it is harmful to your body why do you want to eat it on your birthday, or any other time? I don’t have an answer for you, but I do have a short tapping to get you started.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I feel entitled to overeat on my birthday, I choose to keep my goals in mind. I feel that I really deserve to blow my diet since it is a special occasion but I choose to consider finding ways to celebrate without hurting my body or my health. Even though there is a possibility that I will “blow it”, I deeply and completely accept myself including the parts of me that want this indulgence.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…It’s my birthday

Side of Eye…I deserve to eat whatever I want

Under the Eye…It doesn’t seem fair to have to say no to food on my birthday

Under the Nose…I want steak or lobster

Chin…I want cake and ice cream

Collarbone…I want pancakes and bacon for breakfast

Under the Arm…How can my day be special without those things?

Top of Head…Of course I could eat all of that but just eat smaller portions

Eyebrow..But I’m not sure that would satisfy me either

Side of Eye…Shouldn’t I be able to have whatever I want on my birthday?

Under the Eye…The answer is yes. But, maybe I should look closer at what I really want.

Under the Nose…Will those foods make me feel good about myself?

Chin…No they won’t

Collarbone…Will overeating make me feel loved?

Under the Arm…No it won’t

Top of Head…I want to choose to find ways to love myself on my birthday without hurting my health

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Now is the time to keep tapping with the answers to some of those questions. What do you really want? How can you show yourself love without hurting your health?

Hot Chocolate

BONUS TAPPING: Name 3 comfort foods. While tapping through the points, describe them in as much detail as you possibly can. Continue tapping while you describe your first memory of these foods. Spend some time thinking about what these foods mean to you, when you crave them the most, and how you feel when you eat them.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

Want more tapping exercises like this one? Click here.

Happy Tapping.

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

I’m Not Good At It

An earlier post described one of my excuses that it takes too long. Today’s post addresses a second excuse “I’m not good at it.”If you’ve been following along you know that I have a resistance to meditation even though I know all of the benefits, have recommended it to others, and generally believe it would be a good thing in my life.

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I’m not good at meditation, I’m okay. Even though I’m not good at meditation, and I have lots of examples to support that, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and my belief that I have to be good at everything I do. Even though I’m not good at meditation, I choose to relax and go with the flow.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation

Side of Eye…And I’ve got proof

Under the Eye…As soon as I sit to meditate something hurts

Under the Nose…And that distracts me

Chin…And I have to move to make it stop hurting

Collarbone…And then when that stops hurting

Under the Arm…Then something else starts to hurt

Top of Head…So I never get anything accomplished by trying to meditate

Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation

Side of Eye…I get a serious case of monkey brain

Under the Eye…The thoughts in my head seem to actually speed up

Under the Nose…Until there are no gaps between them

Chin…It could be my to-do list

Collarbone…It could be random things like why grapes come in so many different colors

Under the Arm…Or trying to decide what book I want to read next

Top of Head…So I never get anything accomplished when I try to meditate

Eyebrow…I’m not good at meditation

Side of Eye…A lot of the time if I am too comfortable I fall asleep

Under the Eye…While that may address the relaxation part of meditation

Under the Nose…It does nothing to help with learning to control my mind

Chin…And isn’t that the point of it all?

Collarbone…I seem to have a lot of rules and expectations about meditation for myself

Under the Arm…That I don’t have for anyone else

Top of Head…And they are getting in my way

Eyebrow…Monkey Brain is just part of the process

Side of Eye…And so are the distractions coming from my body

Under the Eye…I know I am not supposed to judge them

Under the Nose…But I definitely do

Chin…I judge the distractions and I judge myself for having them

Collarbone…I think it is time for a different approach

Under the Arm…I’ve done long weekends of meditation before

Top of Head…And they were generally miserable

Eyebrow…But it doesn’t have to miserable when I meditate on my own

Side of Eye…There are no rules

Under the Eye…Unless I make them

Under the Nose…I could choose to take a gentler approach

Chin…And I could even redefine what being good at meditation means

Collarbone…I like that idea. I could define being good at meditation with being consistent

Top of Head…Beginning today, being good at meditation simply means doing meditation.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

Those Same 5 Pounds

Have you lost the same 5, 10, or 15 pounds over and over again? You work really hard to get them off, yet you seem to gain them back almost over night. Then, you do it all over again. This sequence of events is addressed in today’s tapping example.

Tapping

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before; however, I choose to be amazed at how easy it will be to keep it off this time. Even though I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before I respect my choice to lose it, or not lose it again. Even though I’ve lost this same 5 pounds before I love and accept myself with or without those 5 pounds.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I am so depressed

Side of Eye…Because I’ve lost the same 5 pounds before

Under the Eye…Not just once

Under the Nose…But over and over again

Chin…That feels like failure to me

Collarbone…I know it doesn’t have to keep happening that way

Under the Arm…But it feels like this cycle will never stop

Top of Head…I acknowledge my frustration

Eyebrow…I acknolwedge that I am feeling bad about this

Side of Eye…I don’t want to continue the struggle

Under the Eye…I would like to find a way to make this easier

Under the Nose…Stressing out over it won’t help me reach my goal

Chin…I am proud of myself for not giving up

Collarbone…I’d like to keep it off this time

Under the Arm…And I am open to having it be much easier

Top of Head…I love and accept myself, with or without this struggle.

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. How do you feel about the 5 pounds now? This exercise isn’t really about the 5 pounds. Most people’s weight fluctuates and the truth is that the ups happen much more easily for some people than the downs. How we feel about those fluctuations is the real issue and can set us up for even more difficulty. The key to this exercise is asserting that you can love and accept yourself no matter what your weight.

Bonus Exercise

weight loss

Are you feeling brave? If so, take a look at your stomach. Take a really good look at it from the front, the side, clothed, and naked. Write down the first words that pop into your mind and then tap about those.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

Want more tapping exercises like this one? Click here.

Happy Tapping.


book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

It Takes Too Long – Resistance to Meditation Part 1.

I promised you a tapping exercise to address resistance to meditation and I’m a girl who keeps her promises, except those made to herself when I promise I’m going to meditate. Guess how many times I meditated since I posted the article about the benefits of meditation. That’s right! Zero! I had better get started tapping to discover what the problem(s) actually might be.

The first excuse that popped into my head was “It takes too long.” I’m going to use that as my problem statement or MPI (most pressing issue) and I would rate that as an 8 on my 10-point SUD scale. (Very true)

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (karate chop point) – Even though I can’t meditate because it takes too long, I deeply and completely love and accept myself right now. Even though I can’t meditate because it takes to long and I already feel like there are not enough hours in the day, I deeply and completely love and accept myself right now and am open to new wisdom. Even though I can’t meditate because it takes too long, I love myself and accept myself, even with my excuses, and am open to seeing this in a different way.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I can’t meditate

Side of Eye…It takes too long

Under the Eye…I don’t have enough time

Under the Nose…For all of the things I need to do

Chin…Or the things I want to do

Collarbone…This resistance to meditation

Under the Arm…It takes too long

Top of Head…I can’t meditate

Eyebrow…I can’t quit going to work

Side of Eye…And I really can’t go without my sleep

Under the Eye…My exercising is important too

Under the Nose…Nobody would tell me to quit exercising

Chin…I guess I can’t meditate

Collarbone…I wonder if there is a different way to look at this?

Under the Arm…I don’t think so

Top of Head…But what if there is?

Eyebrow…The article in Science Daily said that the benefits show up after just one meditation session

Side of Eye…If that is true it could make everything else I do easier

Under the Eye…And more effective

Under the Nose…Creating even more time for meditation

Chin…But it feels like I will have to give something up

Collarbone…And probably something I enjoy

Under the Arm…Or can already see the benefit of doing

Top of Head…I DO NOT want to give anything up

Eyebrow…If time is really my issue

Side of Eye…I wonder if there is some other way

Under the Eye…I really do believe that meditation is beneficial

Under the Nose…And I feel like a hypocrite

Chin…I’ve been recommending meditation to other people for years

Collarbone…I ususally tell them that they don’t have to do it for a long time

Under the Arm…And that they can start with just 5 minutes if that is all the time they can spare

Top of Head…If I’m really honest, I probably could find 5 minutes

Eyebrow…I could probably dedicate 5 minutes at work

Side of Eye…Which is my least favorite portion of my day

Under the Eye…And when I need it most

Under the Nose…I’d probably have to set a reminder on my phone

Chin…Because there is always work to fill that time

Collarbone…If I don’t set a high priority reminder.

Under the Arm..I don’t have time to meditate

Top of Head…Truthfully, yes I do.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out gently. When I say that problem statement again the intensity is down to about a 3 or 4. That’s a lot better but I know I haven’t cleared the whole issue because my certainty that I will meditate tomorrow at work is still pretty low. That means that my resistance to meditation must have several different aspects (factors) that create the problem. If I were to take a wild guess, some of the aspects that still need work are my belief that I’m not very good at it (from past experience), my anxiety that I will not be able to put all of my other stressors aside for even 5 minutes without more stress building up, and some internal dialogue that somehow I must be inadequate because I need meditation. Those thoughts came up in the background while doing the previous tapping and should keep me busy for a while.

I hope you tapped along and found it useful. I’d love to hear about your experiences with the tapping. Let me know what happened for you or how you motivate yourself to meditate.

Happy Tapping!

Talk About Yourself

Talk About Yourself

The new wisdom is: don’t talk TO yourself, talk ABOUT yourself. I grew up hearing that if you talked to yourself it was bad. It was even worse if you referred to yourself in third person. According to Science Daily, researchers at Michigan State University found that talking about yourself in third person can help to reduce stress.

The rationale for this is very similar to something I have been saying for a long time. We need to shift perspective and get emotional distance when we are in a stressful situation. What these researchers are saying is that by talking about ourselves and the situation in third person it creates the change in perspective and allows the emotional distance that is otherwise very difficult to accomplish. Otherwise, we tend to get stuck in seeing things from inside our emotions.

So, instead of saying OMG, OMG, OMG over and over again, it might be better to ask “Why is Lea so upset?” or “What is Lea seeing that is causing her to be frightened?” Another example, “I am angry.” or “I am noticing some tension in my shoulders that I interpret as anger.”

This might take some practice but seems very reasonable. I think I might just try to think the thoughts rather than speaking out loud. Whoever is listening might have grown up like I did and would worry about me.


I Feel Shame About My Eating

One of the most frequent comments I get about tapping is that people don’t know where to start. They know, or have some basic idea, what the problem is but they get all hung up on the words. It is worth repeating – the words themselves are not magic. Tapping without words still works. I always encourage people to start where they are. After you start tapping, inspiration will come. The following tapping models how to tap about feeling shame about eating. It starts with the very basic setup “Even though I feel ashamed about my eating” and uses the reminder phrase “This eating shame.”

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though I feel ashamed about my eating I choose to love and accept myself anyway. Even though I feel ashamed about my eating, I choose to love and accept myself unconditionally. Even though I feel ashamed about my eating, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…This eating shame

Side of Eye…This eating shame

Under the Eye…This eating shame

Under the Nose…This eating shame

Chin…This eating shame

Collarbone…This eating shame

Under the Arm…This eating shame

Top of Head…This eating shame

So you might look at this and think, “She just repeated the same thing over and over.” That’s right! You can make a lot of headway just repeating that phrase if it really is what you are feeling. Then, when you start feeling or thinking something different, tap on that. Keep repeating until you feel a shift. In my experience, something always comes up. It might be a memory of when someone else shamed you about your eating. I can share with you that when I did this one about 10 times a memory popped up of someone specifically saying to me “You should be ashamed of yourself.” That was my next thing to tap on in order to release the shame.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

Want more tapping exercises like this one? Click here.

Happy Tapping.


book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping