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Happy Things April 2024

Lemon Pecan Pancakes

Once again I feel blessed with a wonderful month of happy things. Composing, singing, playing the harp, playing the piano, are definitely highlights of every month. These things were also the heartbeat of my life in April. In addition I was able to get out of town for a long weekend to see family and experience the joys of another city. During that trip I ate some great food that was both unexpected and indulgent. I had some lemon pecan pancakes that almost brought me to tears. Given all of my food allergies I rarely get to have something like that, both safe and delicious. When topped with maple syrup it really made my day.

Other things that may be happy in April:

brown wooden harp on garden
Photo by Анна Малышева (Заволока) on Pexels.com

A patient harp teacher
Breakfast with a talented composer
A zoom conference with a famous composer
Beginner harp music
Singing a duet with my favorite Scotsman
Airbuds
Find your airbuds app
A kind veterinarian
Phone calls from my son
Potato chips – a guilty pleasure
Composer and mentor Andrew Maxfield
Voice Teacher Timothy Wilds
Pictures of grandchildren
Tulips
Blooming lilacs
Woodpeckers
Mechanical pencils
Maple syrup
Naps

I hope you have started keeping track of all the happiness in your life. I’d love to hear about your list.

Happy Things February 2024

still life with marshmallows and knitwear
Photo by Boris Pavlikovsky on Pexels.com

I must say that February has been a bit better than January for finding happy things. And, as a result it was a lot easier to focus on the things that make me happy. Like so many other things, this requires practice. In case you missed the January post, this idea comes from 14,000 Things to Be Happy About by Barbara Ann Kipfer. In the process of writing this post I turned to the book for encouragement to observe more, recognize more, and savor more. While it is true that I probably could list at least many more things that I was unhappy about than I have on this happy things list, I do see the benefit. Even reading back through my list I notice a smile spreading on my face.

crop woman showing pop up gift card with decorative heart
Photo by Michelle Leman on Pexels.com

Even better, February had 29 days this year. There’s something just special about leap year. I once knew someone who was a leap year baby and used to joke about how unfair it was to have less birthdays than everyone else. I’m certainly trying to make the most of this extra February day with lots of things that make me happy.

February 2024 Happy Things List

A helpful florist

Voice lessons

Composition lessons

Tea bags

Suet feeder

Flat Stanley

Facials

90 minute massages

Audiobooks

Italian Sausage

Gluten Free pasta

Gel pens

Spa day

Irish harp music

Maple syrup

Sleeping dogs

Sons

Dry erase markers

French fries

Bacon

Coming home

Irish harps

Compassionate veterinarians

Leap year

Charles Anthony Silvestri‘s poetry

monochrome photo of woman playing harp
Photo by Aleksei Andreev on Pexels.com

Have you started your Happy Things list yet? I’d love to hear how it is working out for you.

I Can’t Be Rational About Food

Are you still on the path for improved health and wellness in 2019?  Is the resolution still firmly in mind?  Hopefully our last tapping was a good starting point for managing the barriers to success.  One of the things that came up for me when thinking about my love-hate relationship with food was the quality of my thinking.  I’m just not very rational when I think about food.  That is what today’s tapping is about. Say this statement: “I have trouble thinking about food in a rational way.”  How true is that for you on the 0-10 scale (10=very rue).

illustration for karate chop point

Setup (karate chop point): Even though I have trouble thinking about food in a rational way, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  Even though food is a highly emotional subject for me, I am working toward a different way of relating to food, meals, and eating.  Even though I have an emotional reaction to food, I love and accept myself, knowing that I am a work in progress.

diagram of the tapping points

Eyebrow…I get irrational about food

Side of Eye…Thinking about food makes me emotional

Under the Eye…Thinking about not having certain foods makes me emotional

Under the Nose…Thinking about limiting certain foods makes me emotional

Chin…Everything about food and eating makes me emotional

Collarbone…And don’t say the word diet to me

Under the Arm…I am working on changing these emotional responses

Top of Head…I look forward to seeing food in a new way.

Now say that beginning statement again, “I have trouble thinking about food in a rational way.”  Rate it again on the 0-10 scale.  Was there any change?  It may have gone up, gone down, or stayed the same.  The relative change is new information to use in your tapping.  Here are some suggestions to make it more powerful.

  1. Substitute a particular food instead of the word “food” to make it more specific if there is a food or group of foods that brings the strongest emotional reaction.
  2. Tap while thinking about how much you believe you would miss a particular food
  3. Tap while using your original rating number, “This 9-feeling in my gut when I think about not eating _____”
  4. If you are feeling particularly impatient with the slow progress….tap about your lack of patience with an affirmation about being a work in progress.
book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

Remember you can find these and other tapping exercises to assist in your health and wellness in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping.  I’d love to hear back from you about your successes or to answer any questions.

Exercise Avoidance

getting ready to exerciseHave you ever skipped a planned workout because you just didn’t want to go? Meridian tapping can help to keep you on track for your health and fitness goals. This is actually a pretty old video.  Much has changed since I filmed it.  I’ve moved twice, broken my arm, and changed jobs.  My commitment to exercise has not changed, but the way I go about it has.  I typically don’t go to the gym anymore and now do most of it at home.  I’m also thinking about increasing movement rather than increasing the number or repetitions.

Don’t get me wrong, I still set goals for time, speed, and incline when on the treadmill, monitor the number of steps per day on my smart phone, and get excited if I can add weight when lifting.   Setting and working toward goals is a part of my personality.  In terms of health though, frequent movement seems to be as important as intense movement.

Even though I remain committed, there are days when I just have trouble getting started.  That is when tapping really comes to my rescue.

 

Prior Programming

computer program codePrior programming is the collection of ideas, concepts, views, and beliefs that we use as our “operating system” in daily life. These programs come from our parents, religious institutions, schools, families, peer group, media, and society. Sometimes the programs are valid. Sometimes they are not. When the programs are not valid they definitely work against the positive changes we may be trying to make in our lives.

One aspect of prior programming may be the expectation that we should be content with what we have.  Do you remember an experience as a child when you wanted something but you were told it was wrong to want it? I do. I also remember being told to consider all of the poor unfortunate people who had even less than I had. There is a lot of programming that goes on to convince us to not want more or not want something different (except in TV commercials which do the opposite.)

Say this statement aloud, “I should be content with what I’ve got.”  Rate the truth of the statement on a 0-10 scale. Remember that 10 is very intense or very true for you.  Write down your rating.

illustration for karate chop pointRepeat the following statements while tapping on the karate chop point. “Even though I should be content with what I’ve got, I deeply and completely love and accept where I am right now.  Even though I’ve obviously been taught that I should just be content with what I’ve got, I deeply and completely accept myself and all of my feelings. Even though I know I should be content with what I’ve got, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and my desire for more.”

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…I should be content with what I’ve got.

Side of Eye…I should be content with what I’ve got.

Under the Eye…I should be content with what I’ve got.

Under the Nose…I should be content with what I’ve got.

Chin…I should be content with what I’ve got.

Collarbone…I should be content with what I’ve got.

Under the Arm…I should be content with what I’ve got.

Top of Head…I should be content with what I’ve got.

Take a deep breath and check the intensity of your original statement, “I should be content with what I’ve got.” Write down your new rating.  If the rating is above a 3, continue tapping with the previous statement.  Once your rating is quite low, move on to the positive tapping rounds below.

Eyebrow…I appreciate what I have now

Side of Eye…It is ok to want more

Under the Eye…Wanting more doesn’t mean I am unhappy

Under the Nose…It just means that I see possibilities to make things better for myself

Chin…I feel gratitude for what I have right now

Collarbone…I will feel gratitude if I get the things I want too

Under the Arm…I choose to feel calm and relaxed about wanting other things

Top of Head…I choose to love and accept myself and all of my feelings

Take a dep breath and let it out.  Check the intensity of your original statement, “I should be content with what I’ve got.” Record your new rating. If it has gone back up, consider starting back and the beginning and repeating the sequence.  Or, if you noticed some resistance to the positive tapping statements, it might be useful to just tap while repeating the ones that were most difficult for you.

This is only one example of how tapping can be used to address prior programming that keeps us from moving forward in meaningful ways. Try using it for all of your “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” and you will begin to experience true emotional freedom.

It Will Be Difficult

Excuses Be Gone by Wayne Dyer book coverIt will be difficult is one of the excuses identified in Excuses Be Gone, a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer and published by Hay House in 2009. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I have personally used this one.  It has also been a favorite for many of my patients over the years.  People (myself included) very often can cite all of the reasons why they want to do a particular thing or why they should make a particular change. If I’m in a good mood, feeling full of energy, and feel that the person is highly motivated (again, including myself), my initial response to the excuse will be “so what?” Why does something being difficult mean that I shouldn’t or couldn’t do it? When I have actually asked that question people have looked at me like I’m crazy.

There seems to be an unspoken maxim that states that one should never try to do something if it will be difficult. Sometimes it is difficult to imagine, but the opposite might also be true OR, it could actually be easy.  Without a crystal ball it is pretty hard to tell. I might know that something was difficult for me last time or that it was difficult for someone else, but I can never know for sure that something will be difficult this time. It may not be very helpful to jump to that assumption.

If we apply Dr. Dyer’s paradigm for managing the excuse it might include asking

Q – Is it true? Will it be difficult?

A – Probably not.

Q – Where did the excuse come from?

A – I allowed it

Q – What is the payoff?  How does this excuse help me?

A – I( get to avoid risks and stay the same.

Q – What would my life look like if I couldn’t use this excuse?

A – I’d be able to really be myself

Q – Can I create a rational reason to change?

A – Yes

My paradigm for addressing the excuse is similar but also includes tapping (not a surprise I’m sure.)

Q – Where did this excuse come from?

A – Start tapping (tap through the points, changing to the next one whenever it diagram of the tapping pointsfeels right) and let your thoughts flow freely while you try to answer this question. This might include becoming aware of what you are feeling, when you have used this excuse before, and how it feels when you use it.  Get as specific as you can about the excuse, the purpose of the excuse, and the desired outcome of the excuse.

Q – Was there a time that this excuse helped or protected me?

A – The answer is probably yes. Now keep tapping and get specific, remembering the instances in which the excuse was somehow beneficial to you. Try not to get caught up in self-judgment or blame. View the events as if they were a movie or as if you are seeing it happening in the distance and keep tapping.

Q – What am I afraid would happen if I drop this excuse?

A – You will get better results if you can suspend self-judgment about having used this excuse before.  As you found out with the previous step, you developed this excuse for a reason.  Now continue tapping and take a look at the fear or anxiety that entices you to keep using the excuse and perhaps re-evaluate its usefulness to you.

Q – What would be the benefit of eliminating this excuse?

A – Start Tapping.  All things have pros and cons. Now is the time to look at the positive side of eliminating the excuse.  Your results will be best if you can get very specific and get a clear vision of what things might be like on the other side of the fence if you eliminate the excuse.  Remember, the grass is supposed to be woman jumping over the fencegreener on the other side so focus your energy on all of the good things awaiting you if you jump over the fence without the excuse.

If you decide to keep the excuse, please do so without self-blame or regret. You now understand your own motivations and decisions. If you decide to let go of the excuse, congratulations. Now you know that what you are contemplating may actually be easy.  You have also gained awareness of your own ability to do things that are difficult.

Letting It Be Easy

links of chain making things difficultDo you make things harder than they have to be?  I know that I sometimes do.  There have been many occasions when I’ve struggled through a task, and on completion been amazed (and distressed) when I realize that it could have been much simpler or easier than I made it.  Perhaps it is prior programming that taught me that things worth having require work, or maybe it is the number of past experiences when change was truly difficult. I suspect that I have just been getting in my own way much of the time.  This tapping video is about letting things be easier whenever that is possible and at least not making them needlessly difficult.

Did anyone bring the marshmallows?

glowing campfireI tend to be an optimist, but sometimes I have a hard time seeing the silver lining right away.  Thursday morning started as any other day. I got up and showered, fed the dogs, made my breakfast, packed my lunch for work, then went into the laundry room to check the dogs’ water bowl.  I know many people walk through their mornings in a haze, but I literally walked into the haze during my morning. The room was filling with smoke.  In less that a minute the smoke detectors started blaring and smoke started filling the house.

Skipping to the end of the story – everyone is fine and the house is intact.  But a lot happened between the smoke and now.

Our boiler malfunctioned (another long story) and was burning a hole through the floor beneath it.  If this had happened after we had left for work we wold likely have lost everything.  I made it to work, although smelled like smoke) and Scott stayed home, assessed the damage, and went to work on the repairs.

At work I alternated between anxiety and gratitude that this happened while I was at home.  Fast forward to Friday – no hot water and the house smells like a campfire.  I decided I had a picture of marshmallows toasting to make s'moreschoice.  I could either focus on how inconvenient it was to not be able to take a hot shower and how smokey my house smelled or I could close my eyes and imagine cooking marshmallows for s’mores over the campfire.  I chose the latter.

kitchen sink with running waterSaturday – still no hot water.  My natural optimism was returning and by Saturday afternoon I could finally wash dishes again.  Wash dishes? I have never looked forward to washing dishes in my entire life.  Perhaps that is optimism taken too far.

Looking at everything that happened from this vantage point revealed a few lessons.

  1. I really am an optimist.  However, just because I am an optimist doesn’t mean I don’t feel unhappy or frustrated sometimes. Being an optimist just means that it is my default viewpoint.  Both tapping and conscious choice restored my balance.
  2. Looking for the blessings in your life is important. Unless you look for them you might miss out.  It would have been easy for me to focus on the inconveniences of the day but I know it would not have been a good thing for me or anyone else.
  3. I can tolerate more than I sometimes think I can.  I don’t usually like surprises or anything that disrupts my daily routine.  This event was a disruption but I actually bounced back rather quickly.

I hope I don’t have a fire again.  I hope you don’t either.  But if we do, think about marshmallows.