Finding the Meaning in Everyday Life

I Don’t Know How To Stop Eating

To say that I don’t know how to stop eating may sound really strange…to anybody that hasn’t experienced before. I can fast. I can restrict my eating to mealtime. But I can’t seem to stop once I’ve started. This is the hallmark of many different “addictive behaviors” which is why abstinence is such a useful strategy. But here’s the rub…you can’t just abstain from eating.

Setup: I don’t seem to know how to stop eating. I can have a healthy plan but once I start eating I usually eat too much. I don’t understand why I can’t just eat a small amount. Leaving food on my plate makes me feel anxious. Leaving food in the saucepan or skillet makes me feel anxious too. I’d like to be able to eat a reasonable portion and then just be done. In spite of all of these frustrations, I choose to love and accept myself anyway.

Eyebrow…I can’t stop eating once I start

Side of Eye…I tend to overeat at every meal

Under the Eye…I just can’t seem to get enough

Under the Nose…Enough what? I don’t know

Chin…I would be lying if I said I was hungry

Collarbone…I rarely eat to stop hunger

Under the Arm…I don’t usually get hungry

Top of Head…I eat too much food to really feel hungry

Eyebrow…So why can’t I stop eating?

Side of Eye…I plan my meals

Under the Eye…I plan nutritious food

Under the Nose…And then once I start eating I can’t seem to stop

Chin…Even though I can’t seem to stop eating once I start

Collarbone…I choose to eat according to my plan anyway

Under the Arm…Even though leaving food on my plate makes me feel anxious

Top of Head…I choose to leave food on my plate anyway

Eyebrow…Even though leaving food in the kitchen makes me feel anxious

Side of Eye…I choose to leave food in the kitchen anyway

Under the Eye…Even though I feel anxious when I don’t finish all of the food

Under the Nose…I choose to eat in a healthy way

Chin…All of this food anxiety

Collarbone…I am open to clarity about these confusing feelings

Under the Arm…Food anxiety

Top of Head…I am open to loving myself in spite of all of this confusion

This is a great tapping to do BEFORE you begin eating. It will help to take the edge off of the compulsion to overeat. There are obviously other strategies that can help as well such as having limited food available, putting away the anticipated leftovers before beginning the meal, etc. but if you don’t deal with the underlying problem, most people will just find another way to self-sabotage. Going through the tapping helps to rearrange the energy of your body and can help you get to the bottom of the issue.

This tapping, and more like it can be found in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping.

book cover for Don't Diet Reprogramming Your Weight With Meridian Tapping

It Is Not Fair

The tapping today is short, and at first glance might seem like it wouldn’t help. I encourage you to give it a try anyway. Put on your very best whiny voice and really throw yourself into it. Can you hear yourself, or someone else, saying that something isn’t fair? I’ve only written out one round, but that should be enough to get going. You might even want to throw yourself on the floor and have a tantrum — I’m not kidding. The more emotion you put behind this, the better the results.

Setup (Karate Chop Point) – Even though it doesn’t feel fair that I have to diet while others eat all of the food they want, I deeply and completely love and accept myself just the way I am. Even though it isn’t fair that I have to limit my food in order to get to the weight I desire, I deeply and completely love and accept myself no matter what. Even though other people can eat more than I can and eat different foods than I can, I choose to focus on having the body I really want.

Eyebrow…Its not fair

Side of Eye…Its just not fair

Under the Eye…They can eat anything they want

Under the Nose…I can’t

Chin…Its not fair

Collarbone…I want to eat anything I want and still have a great body and good health

Under the Arm…Why them and not me?

Top of Head…Its not fair

Check out additional tapping from Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your

Weight With Meridian Tapping.

Reaching For More

Think about the neck of the giraffe. Now imagine it reaching up to grab a tasty leaf hanging high above. The stretching and reaching associated with the giraffe may be physical, but the giraffe as a totem may also be instructing us about stretching and reaching for a goal or simply stretching ourselves beyond our comfort zone.

Say this statement aloud, “I’m afraid to leave my comfort zone.” How true does that feel on the 0-10 SUD scale?

Setup (Karate Chop Point): I have this image of the giraffe stretching and reaching with its amazingly long neck. I also have an image of myself closed safely into my comfort zone without taking any risks. In that image I am small like a mouse, not majestic and tall like a giraffe. Most of the time I reject the comfort zone image and will urge myself to stretch beyond whatever it is that I, or others, think I can accomplish. Although I would prefer to be continually reaching for more, I love and accept the part of myself that sometimes wishes for comfort and safety instead. Even though I feel that I don’t always risk enough, I love and accept myself completely. Even though sometimes I have trouble reaching, risking, or leaving my comfort zone I deeply and completely love, accept, and honor all parts of myself and choose to allow my intuition to guide me.

Eyebrow…Feeling small

Side of Eye…But wanting to be big

Under the Eye…Prefering to stay in my comfort zone

Under the Nose…But also wanting to reach for more

Chin…It is true that sometimes I take risks

Collarbone…But in reality

Under the Arm…It is less often than I wish

Top of Head…I like to imagine myself

Eyebrow…Sticking my neck out more often

Side of Eye…Sometimes I think about doing it

Under the Eye…And sometimes I actually do it

Under the Nose…And sometimes I don’t act at all

Chin…I’d like to know more about

Collarbone…My choices

Under the Arm…I would like to think that I am listening to my intuition

Top of Head…And that my intuition is flawlessly guiding me

Eyebrow…To take risks when appropriate

Side of Eye…And to stay in my comfort zone

Under the Eye…When that is in my best interest too

Under the Nose…But I suspect that it is my willingness

Chin…To listen to my intuition that really is making the difference

Collarbone…I definitely have more growth

Under the Arm…Coming my way in this risk taking thing

Top of Head…Perhaps my willingness to take a risk

Eyebrow…Or to reach for more

Side of Eye…And leave my comfort zone

Under the Eye…Is somehow a product of my values and priorities

Under the Nose…Actually makes some sense to me

Chin…Reaching for more may be much easier

Collarbone…When the goal I’m reaching for is very important

Under the Arm…And when the goal is neutral or perhaps not really desirable

Top of Head…I hold back

Eyebrow…So when I think about reaching for more

Side of Eye…I need to identify some things

Under the Eye…That are worth reaching for

Under the Nose…Things that feel important

Chin…Things that match my values

Collarbone…Reaching for more

Under the Arm…Reaching for more purpose

Top of Head…Reaching for what matters

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. Say the starting statement aloud again, “I’m afraid to leave my comfort zone.” Re-rate the emotional reaction on the 0-10 scale and notice any change.

It Is Too Hard

Do you ever feel like giving up because dieting is too hard? I think we have all felt that way, not just about dieting, but about a lot of things. This short tapping may be just what you need to renew your motivation for self care.

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though it feels like dieting is just to hard, I am open to considering baby steps that could make a difference for me. Even though it feels like dieting is just too hard, I choose to remember that I don’t have to do it all at once. Even though is feels like dieting is just too hard, I love and accept myself anyway.

Eyebrow…Dieting is just too hard

Side of Eye…I don’t want to do anything that is so hard

Under the Eye…It is just too hard

Under the Nose…It seems overwhelming to me

Chin…It is so hard that I don’t think I can even face it

Collarbone…Dieting is just too hard

Under the Arm…It is too hard

Top of Head…Dieting is way too hard

Eyebrow…Dieting is so very hard

Side of Eye…But I am open to some baby steps towards my goals

Under the Eye…Dieting seems way too hard

Under the Nose…But I don’t have to do it all at once

Chin…Dieting is just too hard

Collarbone…I choose to love and accept myself anyway

Under the Arm…I am open to the possibility that it could be easier than I think

Top of Head…I choose to look for the possibility of success

Need more tapping inspiration about dieting, weight loss, and exercise? Check out Don’t Diet: Reprogram your Weight With Meridian Tapping.

Need to learn more about tapping? Click here.

The Best Defense is a Good Offense

This probably sounds more like advice for a sporting endeavor rather than parenting advice, although I could make a good case that parenting is a sporting event. What I am really speaking about here is the need to set things up as much as possible so that kids are able to do what we want them to rather than waiting until they mess up so we can punish them.

For example, if Mark always runs away from his mom when she takes him with her to the grocery store, why does she take him with her? When I ask mom that, she is likely to tell me that she doesn’t have any other choice or that he begged to come with her and promised he wouldn’t do it this time. While sometimes there really is no other choice, most of the time we can come up with other options such as paying a babysitter, trading off babysitting with a friend or family member, or asking someone else to pick up what you need from the store. Believing Mark’s promise is a setup for failure.

Consider Bethany who generally irritates and annoys her playmates in the first 30 minutes when they get together because of her bossiness and tantrums. Her mom and dad know this, but continue to schedule play dates for her and allow her to play for extended periods of time with only intermittent supervision until the real fighting and yelling starts between Bethany and her friends.

In both of these cases, the parents need to take a more active role in supervision and decision-making. The case of Bethany may be a bit easier. Bethany’s parents need to schedule shorter playtimes until Bethany can demonstrate that she can handle extended visits from her friends. Bethany’s parents also need to remain present to actively supervise Bethany’s play and teach her better ways to interact with her peers. Think of the teaching, interacting, limit-setting, and supervision as the offensive plan for more prosocial behavior in Bethany’s future. Of course the goal is to gradually decrease the amount of parental intervention, but only when she is ready to handle it.

For Mark, mom may need to set up situations in which she takes him with her, but has planned for a clear exit at the first sign of his misbehavior. Expectations are reviewed prior to going into the store. If he breaks a rule, mom takes him out of the store immediately and he experiences consequences as soon as possible. He is not allowed to try again for at least the next 5 visits mom makes to the store. A visual chart to show him how long he must wait because of his behavior might be helpful. Alternatively, someone else could be designated to remove Mark from the store and take him home to wait for mom while she continues shopping. Again, Mark experiences consequences immediately for his behavior and is not allowed to try again for a specified time.

In both of these cases, there is significant pre-planning and energy on the parents’ part. You may also see these as punishments, and in some sense you would be right. For Mark, there are definite consequences for misbehavior, but he is not allowed to continue bad behavior once it begins. Further, there is a predetermined plan for dealing with the anticipated behavior rather than a blind hope that it won’t occur again this time. For Bethany, there is an emphasis on more structure and limits that acknowledges her current level of function and does not allow her the opportunity to exceed her ability to cope.

With a good offense, you could expect significantly more parental satisfaction and reduced stress. Does this sound overwhelming? Learn meridian tapping to reduce your distress.

Wanting More Attention

This tapping seemed appropriate since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. It is a day that highlights both the good and the not so good about being in a relationhip. Although we seem to want intimate relationships, they can be quite stressful. This is an area where people tend to judge whether their feelings are justified PRIOR to deciding to tap. I urge you to begin tapping without judgement.

Say this statement aloud “My husband (boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, significant other, etc) never pays enough attention to me.” Rate the intensity on the 0-10 point scale and record your rating.

Tap on your karate chop point and repeat these setup statements. “Even though my husband doesn’t pay attention to me the way I want him to, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though my husband has been a selfish jerk lately and hasn’t paid much attention to me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I want more attention from my hsuband and I don’t know how to get it from him, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

Eyebrow…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Side of Eye…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Under the Eye…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Under the Nose…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Chin…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Collarbone…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Under the Arm…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Top of Head…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. Continue with the following reminder phrases at each of the tapping spots

Eyebrow…My husband never pays enough attention to me

Side of Eye…And I need his attention

Under the Eye…It feels like he doesn’t care about me at all

Under the Nose…I do all kinds of things for him

Chin…But he doesn’t do anything for me

Collarbone…I know that is not really true

Under the Arm…He does things for me

Top of Head…Just not the things I want him to do right now

Eyebrow…I’m not getting what I want from him

Side of Eye…And, rather than tell him what I want

Under the Eye…I want him to guess

Under the Nose…That’s not working so well for me

Chin…I want his attention and I’m afraid to just ask for it

Collarbone…I wonder what it is that I really want or need right now?

Under the Arm…Asking for what I want or need is the best thing I could do

Top of Head…I feel relieved to realize that my husband does pay attention to me and I choose to feel empowered to ask to have my needs met.

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Check the intesnity of your original problem statement, “My husband never pays enough attention to me.” Notice any changes and make notes for future tapping. This is a complex topic and likely to need some additional tapping to resolve all of the aspects. This tapping is an adaptation of one found in Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT.

If I Exercise Now…

What kinds of excuses do you use to skip out on exercise? I’ve heard (and used) many creative excuses. One of my favorites is “If I exercise now I will be too tired later.” This tapping script is to help eliminate this excuse and get you (and me) back on track.

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though I am avoiding exercise right now, I love and accept myself anyway. Even though I am worried that I will be too tired later if I exercise now, I acknowledge that I am a work in progress. Even though I am worried that I will be too tired to do the rest of the things I have planned for my day if I exercise now, I know that I can change this negative way of thinking.

Eyebrow…If I exercise now I wil be too tired later

Side of Eye…I am already tired

Under the Eye…How can I do the things I need to do if I exercise now?

Under the Nose…I know I am just making excuses

Chin…But they seem to have worked for me before

Collarbone…At least they have worked to keep me from exercising

Under the Arm…This excuse hasn’t helped me to get any healthier

Top of Head…I know that it isn’t even true

Eyebrow…When I do exercise I am tired for a little while

Side of Eye…And then I have even more energy

Under the Eye…When I exercise regularly

Under the Nose…My energy level stays up

Chin…This is just a negative message my brain has made up

Collarbone…To keep me right where I am

Under the Arm…It isn’t a good message

Top of Head…It isn’t even a true message

Eyebrow…This is a message I could ignore

Side of Eye…Sometimes my brain tells me things that aren’t true

Under the Eye…Things like “I’m hungry” right after I’ve eaten

Under the Nose…Or things like “If you eat sugar you’ll feel better”

Chin…Sometimes these messages are really hard to ignore

Collarbone…It is exciting when I can tell the difference

Under the Arm…I am learning to be better about making decisions based on my goals

Top of Head…I may not be excited about exercising right now, but I don’t have to worry about being too tired later

Do you feel like exercising? Go work out while your motivation is high. Did a new excuse crop up? Keep tapping on each excuse and hopefully gain clarity about your real reasons for avoiding exercise.

This tapping and others like it can be found in Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping. I’d love to hear your feedback.

Needing Wise Counsel

The ostrich is a totem for wisdom. How do you react to others who have more experience than you do? Do you invite and welcome their wisdom into your life or do you insist on figuring everything out yourself? Do you rely to much on others rather than trusting in your own wisdom? This short tapping exercise may help you become more aware of your issues in this area.

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Having others aroun dis important to me. Being able to learn from their experience and draw upon their wisdom when I am faced with new challenges or overwhelming situations is really beneficial. Also, there really is safety in numbers. I’m feeling pretty isolated right now, but I love and accept myself anyway. I want the safety of my herd. I love and accept myself. I crave the wise counsel of others. I deeply and completely love and accept myself.

Eyebrow…I feel like an ostrich

Side of Eye…Seeking safety in numbers

Under the Eye…And attempting to protect myself

Under the Nose…By hanging out with the crowd

Chin…Watching how others handle things

Collarbone…Is how I learn

Under the Arm…I need to be careful about who I watch

Top of Head…I can learn what works

Eyebrow…And I can learn what doesn’t

Side of Eye…I just have to be smart enough

Under the Eye…To know the difference

Under the Nose…I feel like an ostrich

Chin…That can be good or not so good

Collarbone…I like having a group around me

Under the Arm…It keeps me safe

Top of Head…It helps me grow

As I noted before, this was a short tapping just to get your own thoughts and feelings moving. Write down any thoughts or feelings that you noticed while tapping. Are there specific situations in which you sought out the safety of the crowd that didn’t go as well as you wanted? Tap about those. Were there situations in which you chose to follow the example that was a what not to do instead of a what to do? Those would be good to tap about as well.

Not Feeling Respected Because of Politics

Believe it or not, this is a very old tapping exercise, but it seems appropriate for today’s social climate. It was included in a chapter about current stressors in my first book Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom with EFT. This tapping is about the intense emotions people experience when talking about politics.

Some people may actually be afraid to do this tapping because they equate the decrease in intense emotions with lack of conviction. Tapping on the intense emotions will not take away your conviction but it will allow for better control and more ease around others that may believe differently than you do.

The story begins with Joe, a normally reasonable and mild-mannered man who was having difficulty at family gatherings because his political views were radically different from those of other family members. Joe and his wife actually dreaded holidays such as Thanksgiving where there was extended contact that allowed ample time for such discussions. Joe really wanted to be able to control his emotions better when family members disagreed with him, failed to listen to his views, or even provoked him to just get a reaction. Tapping was a perfrect tool for the situation.

Is this scenario something you can relate to? Let’s tap.

Say this problem statement aloud, “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Rate the intensity (or truth) of this statement on a 0-10 scale (10 is very true). Write down your number.

Say these setup statements while tapping on the karate chop point: Even though I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I get really angry when other people don’t agree with my political views, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though it feels like other people aren’t respecting my political views when they disagree with me, and I don’t handle it very well, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and all of my feels on this subject.

Eyebrow…I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views

Side of Eye…I get pretty upset when others disagree with my politics

Under the Eye…It is dangerous to discuss politics with anyone that doesn’t agree with my view

Under the Nose…Because I can’t handle it

Chin…I’m so sure that my political views are right

Collarbone…That I can’t handle it when anyone has a different opinion

Under the Arm…I can’t handle it when anyone can’t see the value of my political views

Top of Head…I can’t handle any challenge to my political views without getting very upset

Take a deep breath and let it out. Check the intensity of your original problem statement “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Record your new rating. Continue tapping with these statements until your intensity rating is low. Once your rating is below a 3 or 4, feel free to move on to the positive affirmation reminder phrases below.

Eyebrow…Even though I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views right now

Side of Eye…I am trying to maintain an open mind

Under the Eye…Even though I haven’t been able to handle it as well as I would like in the past

Under the Nose…I am open to feeling more comfortable with challenges to my views in the future

Chin…Even though I’m pretty convinced that I am right

Collarbone…I am trying to be okay with others’ opinions

Under the Arm…Even when I feel they are wrong

Top of Head…I love and respect my own views and calmly allow allows to have their views.

Take a deep breath and let it out gently. Check the intensity of your original problem statement “I can’t handle it when other people don’t respect my political views.” Write down your new rating.

If politics is one of your stressors, be sure to notice what additional thoughts and feelings come up and write them down for future tapping. It may be important for you to tap on those additional issues.

Would you like more examples of tapping about every day stressors? Check out Tap It Away: 10 Minutes to Freedom With EFT.

I’m Afraid I Will Lose Control

Unfortunately I am no stranger to feeling out of control with food. It is a huge issue that I have not completely eliminated. Fortunately the fear of of losing control is something that rarely sneaks up on me, so when I first notice it I can usually find relief in tapping. What follows is a short tapping that you can use when you start to worry about losing control.

Setup (Karate Chop Point): Even though I am afraid I will lose control if confronted with any of my favorite foods, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. Even though I am afraid that I will lose control and eat too much or eat foods that are not healthy for me, I choose to focus on loving myself and my healthy body instead. Even though I am afraid that I will lose control and eat like a pig, I choose to feel calm and confident, even twhen those comfort foods are readily available.

Eyebrow…I am afraid I will lose control

Side of Eye…I am afraid I will eat like a pig

Under the Eye…I am afraid my food plan will go right out the window

Under the Nose…I can’t control myself around those foods

Chin…I am afraid I will lose control

Collarbone…I am afraid I will eat too much

Under the Arm…I am afraid I will eat unhealthy foods

Top of Head…I am afraid I will lose control

Continue with these or similar phrases until you feel relief

Did you benefit from this tapping? I’d love to hear about your success.

Want more tapping scripts? Check out Don’t Diet: Reprogram Your Weight With Meridian Tapping.