Finding the Meaning in Everyday Life

I Want To Be Special. Do You?

I think everyone wants to be special. When I say that I want to be special it feels somehow WRONG. There are all kinds of automatic negative thoughts that pop into my head when I say that. Sometimes I hear specific people from my past telling me that I’m not special. I thought I would share a tapping exercise that I used when caught in the confusion of wanting to be special but having an internal dialogue that it is wrong to want to be special.

Setup (on the karate chop point): I really do want to be special. My thoughts get all jumbled when I try to sort out what I really mean by that. I can see that my desire to be special in some way may be an attempt to elevate myself above others, but that doesn’t feel like the truth to me. I am open to understanding this aspect of myself more. Even though I sometimes feel that wanting to be special is somehow wrong, I chose to love myself and accept myself anyway. Even though I have mixed messages about wanting to be special, I chose to love myself and offer forgiveness to myself and to anyone else that has purposefully or accidentally contributed to these feelings.

Eyebrow…I want to be special

Side of Eye…I want to feel special

Under the Eye…Sometimes all it takes is for someone to be kind to me and I feel special

Chin…In my more lucid times I know that their kindness is really about them, not about me

Collarbone…I just like thinking it is about me

Under the Arm…I want other people to sometimes put what I want above what is easy for them

Top of Head…That makes me feel like I am special

Eyebrow…At least special enough to go out of their way for

Side of Eye…But again, that shows more about them than it does about me

Under the Eye…I suspect that I sometimes confuse feeling loved with being special

Under the Nose…Special is a very interesting word isn’t it

Chin…When I say that something is special to me I am assigning importance to it

Collarbone…In my mind, it doesn’t change the status of anything else

Under the Arm…If I were standing with another person and someone said the other person was special

Top of Head…I would wonder what was wrong with me that I wasn’t special too

Eyebrow…It is an interesting contrast

Side of Eye…I am open to knowing what this means

Under the Eye…O am open to experiencing “specialness” in a different way

Under the Nose…I resolve to be more careful in my allocation of specialness toward others so that feelings don’t get hurt

Chin…I’ve been taught that we are all special in God’s eyes

Collarbone…Then what does special mean

Under the Arm…I think in that case it just means that I am important to God

Top of Head…Am I ok with that definition

Eyebrow…No, not really

Side of Eye…But I am open to discovering more truth about this

Under the Eye…I choose to work to decrease my reliance on such arbitrary labels

Under the Nose…I choose to use labels, such as special, more carefully

Chin…I choose to embrace my uniqueness without needing to be “special”

Collarbone…I choose to embrace the uniqueness of others

Under the Arm…I do not need to diminish others in order to feel good about myself

Top of Head…I choose to think and act in ways that allow me to feel good about myself.

Take a deep breath and release it gently. Has anything shifted? I know I have a lot more work to do on this need to be or feel special but I did feel something shift when I did the tapping and it felt good.

Sugar Addiction – Video 3 of 3

Sometimes it is difficult to predict how different aspects of a problem or challenge will appear. In this video there is an update on my sugar addiction tapping and also a general tapping on food anxiety. I thought the re-post of sugar addiction tapping would be absolutely appropriate as we face the Easter basket candy. Please join in.

Sugar Addiction – Video 2 of 3

This video addressed some of the emotions that can drive a sugar addiction such as anger and embarrassment.

Say this statement “I am a sugar addict.” How true does that feel to you on a 0-10 scale (10=very true)? Write that number down before you start tapping to release the hold that sugar addiction has on you.

Sugar Addiction – Video 1 of 3

Addiction to sugar is a big topic and often has many components. This video is the first in a series and introduces the process of meridian tapping to conquer this addiction.

Isshin, Mushin, and Zanshin

I’m a planner. In fact, my standard mode of operation has always been to try to anticipate every possible complication or contingency and plan for it. I’m the classic “if he does this, then I’ll do this” kind of girl. Since beginning to study the principles of martial arts I’ve been intrigued by the possibility of letting go of such rigid thinking. In theory it sounds like a great idea. In terms of fighting or martial arts it even makes some sense to me. I had the opportunity to test this a while back in my real life.

The best part of this story for me is….I didn’t pre-plan it. It wasn’t one of those times when I said, “hey I think I’ll see how these principles would work here.” I was scheduled for a meeting with a lot of different professional people. In the past these meetings have always felt quite adversarial. I’ve always gone into the meeting wearing my very best power suit and armed to the teeth with copies of the current applicable legal statues, braced for a fight. Typically I would have spent the night before rehearsing in my mind everything that I thought I should say and appropriate responses for any and all objections.

I woke up on the morning of the meeting and had actually forgotten that the meeting was scheduled. I put on a rather feminine (aka “girlie”) dress and went to work. There was only a slight moment of panic when I realized I was deviating from my plan. On the way to the meeting several things happened that weren’t in my game plan, including a change of meeting location and awful traffic. During that drive I reflected briefly on what my desired outcome was and set my intention to reach that goal.

When I arrived in the room I spent a few minutes listening to the mood of the other individuals that had arrived. I paid some attention to the energy that each was giving off. Normally I would have just assumed them all to be hostile. What I found was that most of the people in the room had the same objective that I did. I made a mental note. I also chose to position myself nearest the person who was most likely to be my major opponent. Again, this was in sharp contrast to anything I might have done before.

When my adversary attacked (verbally) I countered. I relied on my previous experience and training to allow me to respond, not some pre-orchestrated response. This worked so well I was amazed. Each time there was a new objection or a diversion I focused again primarily on my objective. I was able to adapt and continue working toward what I believed was the inevitable goal.

The meeting actually went well and my objectives were met. In the past I would have turned tail and literally run away. Instead I stayed and connected with the individuals that were present and made sure that there wouldn’t be any stray items to deal with later.

While all of this was happening I certainly wasn’t thinking of Isshin, Mushin, and Zanshin. It wasn’t until I was driving back to my office that it occurred to me that my meeting is some ways paralleled these principles. I was very excited. While I have studied martial arts principles in the dojo, I was excited to experience the principles in the rest of my world.

Today I Faced The Marshmallow Fluff, and I Lost

This story came from Linda. She said that she was tired, frustrated, and irritable after her difficult day. As any good food addict will do – she turned to food. She wasn’t proud of it, but that day she had faced the marshmallow fluff and it won. Here is the way we started tapping. Feel free to tap along.

Setup: (tapping the karate chop point) Even though I gave into temptation and ate marshmallow fluff by the spoonful today, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway. Even though I ate marshmallow fluff in response to being tired and frustrated, I choose to view myself with love and compassion. Even though I ate marshmallow fluff in secret so nobody would know, I choose to get back on track right now.

Eyebrow…I ate marshmallow fluff

Side of Eye…First I put some on my brownie

Under the Eye…Then I ate some on a spoon with some peanut butter

Nose…Then I just ate it off a spoon without anything else

Chin…Knowing that I still have these behaviors makes me feel so defeated sometimes

Collarbone…I wasn’t really hungry, but I was craving something sweet

Under the Arm…It was here, easy, and easy to hide

Top of Head…I didn’t eat enough to do a lot of damage to my diet

Eyebrow…But I did damage my confidence

Side of Eye…I also know that once I start, it is sometimes hard to stop

Under the Eye…It’s good to know that I can tap on that issue too if I need to

Nose…I am angry with myself for eating the fluff

Chin…I’m disappointed with myself for eating the fluff

Collarbone…I feel like a failure

Under the Arm…I feel like a fraud

Top of Head…The fluff won, and I hate that

In this case we just started where she was at the time. The words of the setup statement state the truth of what happened, but also state where she wanted to end up –acceptance and able to get back on track. It wouldn’t have been beneficial to pretend that it didn’t happen. During the rest of the tapping the behaviors were described but also some of the negative self talk about eating the fluff. This part can be expanded to cover all of the feelings that come up.

For Linda it didn’t really take more than this. As soon as she acknowledged the behavior and expressed her feelings about it while tapping she experienced considerable relief. She told me later that she did additional tapping on the specific feeling of being a failure at another time and was able to get clarity and relief there too.

As you can see, the tapping doesn’t have to be complicated. You just have to get started.

Tapping Video: I’m Not Smart Enough

Sometimes reading and studying ancient texts can seem daunting or even impossible. I like to use tapping to break down the barriers that keep us from being able to explore new or complex ideas. In the video below I demonstrate tapping on not feeling smart enough and the automatic negative thought of never going to be able to “get it.” Feel free to tap along.

Book Review – The Third Plate

What do Eight Row Flight, worms, foie gras, mullet, and soil all have in common? They are all things that I couldn’t have imagined in a million years that I would read about or even care about. But, since reading The Third Plate: Field Notes on the Future of Food by Dan Barber I do care. And frankly, I wish I could go back to my state of ignorance is bliss. Reading this book will forever change the way you look at food, farming, and consumerism.

I received this book as an advance uncorrected proof through a www.goodreads.com giveaway. Like many of the giveaways, I’m not sure what drew me to the book. When it arrived in the mail I put it on the shelf for later, mostly because it was visually intimidating. It isn’t a small book and there are very few pictures or diagrams. It just felt overwhelming. Fortunately looks CAN be deceiving. It reads quite easily and although it contains a great deal of technical information it didn’t really cause the book to bog down for me. I have already passed it along to a friend. It was really that informative and good to read.

After finishing the book I made some life changes and have continued to incorporate the information into my life. The book confirmed what I already knew – fresh produce from an organic garden tastes better than the store-bought produce (even the organic stuff). Now I know why, companion planting and crop rotations. I also have suspicions about the origins of my food allergies and gluten issues. I found it difficult to read about the corn, wheat, and soy because, in my mind I have vilified these substances as culprits in my own health issues. The realization that the grains I have consumed have no real resemblance to REAL corn, wheat, and soy and that this imposter phenomenon is what has made me sick actually makes me quite angry. I’m pretty sure that my consumption of meat will continue to decrease and change.

The book speaks to the conceptual and global issues related to farm-to-table eating and sustainable agriculture; however, it leaves me feeling very challenged about how to put this knowledge into practice. Short of growing my entire food supply myself (not feasible), I don’t know the best way to move forward on some of these issues. Imagine the look on your grocer’s face when you ask not only how fresh the fish is, but also where it was caught and how it was killed. Or better yet, ask what was grown in the field along with my tomato. And by the way, what crop was grown in that field the previous year?

I highly recommend that you read the book. Maybe your food habits will change. Maybe they won’t. But I am certain that your view of food WILL change.

Book Review – Energy Tapping for Trauma

Energy Psychology has the power to revolutionize healing. Nowhere is that more evident that in the field of trauma recovery. In the book Energy Tapping for Trauma, as he has with all of his books, Dr. Gallo has included enough technical data and research to satisfy the skeptic, sufficient case summaries to encourage the hesitant, and step-by-step exercises for those who are ready for relief.

The various Energy Psychology techniques presented in this volume will be useful for traumas big and small. had a bad day? Try the Simple Trauma Technique. Are you the victim of natural disaster or war? Consider the Trauma Removal Technique. There really is something here for everyone and every situation.

I’ve been using some of these techniques for years and I am a living testament to their benefit. Now I am excited to expand my practice with these other techniques. Dr. Gallo’s work in this field has made relief as close at hand as our fingertips. Get busy and start healing your trauma now.

Why All of the Book Reviews?

Thanks for the question. The quick answer is that I’m addicted to books. The long answer is that I believe strongly in bibliotherapy.

The term bibliotherapy may be relative modern; however, the concept of using books for healing is reportedly as old as the sign of the anxiety Grecian library at Thebes which translates as, “the healing place of the soul.” In the 1930s Dr. Karl Menninger and Dr. William Menninger advocated the use of books within the psychotherapeutic process.

Pardek, an expert in bibliotherapy, defined it as a dynamic interaction which occurs between the personality of the reader and the literature. Others define bibliotherapy as the use of literary work in the treatment of emotional and physical problems.

Bibliotherapy has many uses including:

To gain insight into a problem
To provide relaxation and diversion
To stimulate discussion of problems
To encourage one to focus outside of one’s self

NOTE: Books are not a substitute for the therapists’ time and are not to be considered a shortcut.

When you walk through a bookstore or browse online you will likely notice a very large section of books labeled psychology or self-help. Many of these books may be recommended by a therapist during treatment. Bibliotherapy is not limited to that section of books alone. Biographies, novels, non-fiction, comic books, and children’s books may also be used to stimulate growth and wellness. The use of movies and videos has also gained popularity in achieving the same goals.

You can be sure more book reviews are coming……Happy Reading.