Arrogance?

showing your beauty or talent is not arroganceHas anyone ever called you arrogant?  It can be a hard thing to hear, particularly if you feel that your behavior has been misunderstood.  Imagine that, like the peacock, you have a feature, skill, or talent that is pretty spectacular.  Are you supposed to pretend that you don’t?  When you are at the zoo do you hope the peacock will spread its tail or do you scorn it when it does? I personally love to see that big beautiful tail.  There are times in our lives when we dare to shine but other people call us arrogant or overly proud.  I can even remember feeling proud of an accomplishment and someone reciting the pride goeth before a fall admonition.  That can make us worried and scared to express our greatness.

That is what the next tapping is about.  It isn’t really promoting arrogance. Instead it is about discerning arrogance from appropriate pride in an accomplishment or situation.

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (Karate Chop Point): I hate being told that I am arrogant, particularly when I just feel like I’m being happy.  It makes me reluctant to speak of the positive things that I’ve done, seen, or accomplished.  Even with these jumbled up feelings I choose to deeply and completely love and accept myself.  Even though I have a lot of unresolved feelings about being called arrogant and wanting to be happy about things I’ve done, I choose to remain calm and speak my truth.  Even though being called arrogant could be a consequence of sharing my happiness with others, I choose to respect myself and anyone else that is involved in the situation.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…He called me arrogant

Side of Eye…And that really hurt

Under the Eye…What also hurt

Under the Nose…Is that I believed it

Chin…At the time it seemed like he might be right

Collarbone…And maybe it wasn’t ok to be happy about my success

Under the Arm…But looking back

Top of Head…I’m pretty sure that I wasn’t being mean

Eyebrow…I wasn’t trying to make myself better tha anyone else

Side of Eye…I wasn’t gloating

Under the Eye…I was just amazingly excited and happy

Under the Nose…It’s nice to receive awards

Chin…And it doesn’t make sense to pretend that I don’t enjoy it

Collarbhone….I suspect he was just unhappy because he didn’t get an award

Under the Arm…And thought he could make himself feel better

Top of Head…By making me feel bad

Eyebrow…And I fell for it

Side of Eye..That may be the worst part of it for me now

Under the Eye…I can be my own worst enemy

Under the Nose…And it has stopped me from showing my happiness

Chin…Many times since that first incident

Collarbone…I have even tried to pre-empt the potential problem

Under the Arm…By downplaying my successes before someone else can take me down

Top of Head…I don’t get to feel happy then either

Eyebrow…I’m glad I care about how other people feel

Side of Eye…And I really don’t want others to feel badly as a result of my successes

Under the Eye…But for the most part, I can’t control how they feel

Under the Nose…I believe I should be careful

Chin…With my words, attitudes, and tone of voice

Collarbone…But if those are appropriate

Under the Arm…Someone else’s reaction isn’t because of me

Top of Head…They are then completely responsible for their response

Eyebrow…I choose to shine when I can

Side of Eye…Without flaunting or bragging

Under the Eye…And know that expressions of pride and happiness

Under the Nose…Can be completely appropriate

Chin…I affirm that happiness is NOT arrogance

Collarbone…I affirm that utilizing my strengths and assets

Under the Arm…is NOT arrogance

Top of Head…I affirm all that I am.

 

Take a deep breath and let it out slowly.  Notice if you are holding any tension in your body after completing this exercise.  If you do notice tension, spend a few minutes tapping to release it from your body.

Evil in the World

In reality, I wrote this tapping exercise a long time ago and it is included in my upcoming book.  As I was working through some edits today I realized how relevant it is with the recent news and world situations so wanted to share it here with you.  As you will see, it was originally crafted to address one of the associations with snakes.

primal instincts of snakeSnakes are seldom portrayed as beacons of happiness and job.  Think about the snakes you have seen in movies or in the media.  The first movies that pop in my mind are Anaconda, Harry Potter, and Indiana Jones. In each of those movies the snakes are representations of evil, danger, or death.  It only takes  a few minutes of watching the news or looking at social media to know that there is evil in the world we live in and it can be very distressing. While tapping cannot eliminate evil, it can help us to deal with it better. The tapping exercise below is somewhat general, but you are free to substitute whatever current event is bothering you to make it more effective.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (karate chop point): Even though I’m worried about this evil in the world, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  Even though I’m worried about this evil in the world, I acknowledge that I cannot change it by worrying more or worrying longer, so I choose to breathe and relax and focus on love, peace, and light. Even though I’m very concerned about the apparent increase of bad things happening in the world, I choose to remain calm and centered.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…All of the evil in the world

Side of Eye…The bad things that are happening

Under the Eye…So much chaos

Under the Nose…So much hatred

Chin…So many lies

Collarbone…So much disease

Under the Arm…So many people are hurting

Top of Head…And being hurt

Eyebrow…All of this evil in the world

Side of Eye…Upset

Under the Eye…Scared

Under the Nose…Angry

Chin…Worried

Collarbone…About all of the evil in the world

Under the Arm…I can’t hide from it

Top of Head…But I don’t have to let it harm me either

Eyebrow…I can do what I can

Side of Eye…To promote peace, justice, and love

Under the Eye…But I have no control over the other people

Under the Nose…And worrying will not help

Chin…It can only hurt me

Collarbone…I’m not pretending it doesn’t exist

Under the Arm…I’m just not wasting unproductive energy

Top of Head…All of this evil in the world

Eyebrow…But I choose to remain calm

Side of Eye…All of this evil in the world

Under the Eye…But I choose to remain centered

Under the Nose…ALl of this evil in the world

Chin…But I refuse to give it a place in my soul

Collarbone…All of this evil in the world

Under the Arm…But I choose not to give it my time

Top of Head…I choose to promote love, peace, and light.

Primal Instincts

primal instict of sharkPrimal Instincts – that is really the theme of my upcoming book Primal Power: Totem Tapping for Health and Happiness. We all have primal instincts.  What follows is a sneak peek at a tapping exercise included that considers what we can learn from the primal instincts of sharks.

I find it hard at times to rely on my instincts. For much of my life people in charge have made me question whether my instincts were valid and reliable.  It happened  in some subtle and not-so-subtle ways.  For example, were you ever so angry as a child that you told a grown up that you hated someone and they responded back by telling you that you didn’t really hate that person? Maybe you had an experience in which you felt frightened but you were told that what you were afraid of wasn’t really scary.  I’ve had both of these done to me and have done both to others. Being told that what I was feeling was wrong made me less in tune or able to trust my primal powers and instincts.  Although I’m doing better I still sometimes find it hard to rely on my gut, even though it is pretty accurate.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (karate chop point): Even though I find it hard to listen to my gut, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.  Even though I often second guess myself when it comes to following my instincts, I am learning to love that part of me again.

 

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…Afraid to trust my gut

Side of Eye…Afraid to trust myself

Under the Eye…Afraid to trust my inner guidance

Under the Nose…Afraid to trust my primal nature

Chin…Afraid to follow my intuition

Collarbone…Trained to believe they are right and I am wrong

Under the Arm…Even about my own feelings

Top of Head…And my own experiences

Eyebrow…When I have trusted my gut

Side of Eye…It has been amazingly spot on

Under the Eye…But much of the time

Under the Nose…I don’t even listen for it anymore

Chin…Or worse, I hear it, but ignore it

Collarbone…Bad things usually follow

Under the Arm…When I ignore an instinct or a gut feeling

Top of Head…Learning to trust again

Eyebrow…Learning to trust ME again

Side of Eye…Not giving up on the facts

Under the Eye…But acknowledging a knowing that is sometimes beyond the facts

Under the Nose…Knowing what I feel

Chin…My feelings can’t be wrong

Collarbone…It doesn’t mean that I have to react to them

Under the Arm…All of the time

Top of Head….But I can learn to hear my inner voice again and reclaim my primal power.

 

Do I Have To Be Right?

Verse 2: Tao Te Ching

Everyone recognizes beauty only because of ugliness

Everyone recognizes virtue only because of sin

Life and death are born together

Difficult and easy

Long and short

High and low — all these exist together and arrive together

Sound and silence blend together

Before and after

 

The Sage acts without action and teaches without talking

All things flourish around him and he does not refuse any one of them

He gives but not to receive

He works but not for reward

He completes but not for results

He does nothing for himself in this passing world so nothing he does ever passes

In this passage I was made to consider the duality of existence.  The dichotomy that sprang to mind for me was right vs wrong.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping the karate chop point): I don’t always have to be right. I don’t really believe that.  Of course I always have to be right.  There may be more to this.  I am open to looking at how my need to always be right might be hurting myself in other ways.  There are two sides to everything.  I suspect this verse may be telling me that there are some things that may be more important than being right.  I choose to consider each situation independently and consider prayerfully how important being right is.  I deeply and completely accept myself, even in my stubborn need to always be right.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…I always need to be right

Side of Eye…That has been a major force in my life

Under the Eye…Being right feels good

Under the Nose…I’m becoming aware that the cost may sometimes be too high

Chin…I choose to consider that I WANT to be right but I may not always NEED to be right

Collarbone…I am open to experiencing the difference

Under the Arm…Meditations on the Tao suggest that my need to be right drives my judgments that others are wrong

Top of Head…The Tao also suggests that accepting right and wrong as coexisting together rather than being separate is another option

Eyebrow…I sometimes get glimpses of that but certainly don’t live it

Side of Eye…I MUST be right all of the time

Under the Eye…No I don’t

Under the Nose…Sometimes relationships may be more important than proving I’m right

Chin…Taking action based on reasonable information may be preferable to researching to prove that I’m right before acting

Collarbone…I need to learn when enough is enough

Under the Arm…Being right can sometimes hurt other people

Top of Head…Obviously being right can sometimes hurt me too

Eyebrow…I choose to be open to learning a new way

Side of Eye…I choose to be open to practicing a new way

Under the Eye…I choose to be open to experiencing a new way

Under the Nose…Being right feels good

Chin…I hope to learn how to also accept not being right

Collarbone…It may not be as much tied to who I am as I previously thought

Under the Arm…Not proving that I’m right may not really be a life-ending disaster

Top of Head…I guess that is up to me

Eyebrow…I always have to be right

Side of Eye…That doesn’t feel as true for me as it did before

Under the Eye…One day at a time

Under the Nose…I am open to experiencing life as it comes

Chin…It is not about right or wrong

Collarbone…I think I’ll start by not needing to prove that others are wrong so that I can be right

Under the Arm…I choose to continue growing so that I don’t need others to be wrong

Top of Head…I choose to love and accept myself along this journey

My Cravings Always Win

cravings always win when faced with donutsAlthough this is not as true as it used to be, I do sometimes feel my cravings always win.  Some days are definitely worse than others.  What follows is a tapping exercise for those rough days.  One way to make this even more effective is to have the item you are craving right there where you can see it and smell it.  If you choose that option please be sure to rate the intensity of your craving on the 0-10 scale (10 is severe) before you get started.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping the karate chop point):  Even thought it seems like my cravings always win, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.  Even though it seems like my cravings always win, I choose to continue to try.  My cravings are part of me, and I accept myself.

 

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…My cravings always win

Side of Eye…So it doesn’t seem worth it to even try to resist

Under the Eye…I might as well just go ahead and eat it

Under the Nose…If I fight it and then lose, I just end up feeling worse

Chin…Even though it seems that my cravings always win

Collarbone…I know that it isn’t really true

Under the Arm…Sometimes I am able to resist

Top of Head…I am open to learning about what makes me more successful

Eyebrow…At one time and less successful at another

Side of Eye…My cravings don’t always win

Under the Eye…My cravings sometimes win

Under the Nose…In reality, my cravings aren’t against me

Chin…They are part of me

Collarbone…My cravings are a signal that something needs my attention

Under the Arm…I can choose to deal with it with or without food

Top of Head…I can choose to continue toward my goals

 

Take a deep breath and let it out.  Now say the statement aloud “My cravings always win” and re-rate the intensity.  What do you notice now?  Did anything shift?  Once the intensity is at or below a 3, consider tapping on what your cravings might be signaling for you.

My Brain is Lying To Me Right Now

woman sleepingDid you know that your brain can tell lies?  Perhaps it would be more kind to say that it misinterprets information.  The end result is the same. There have been multiple times when I have thought that I was hungry but my brain is lying.

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping your karate chop point): Even though my brain is lying to me right now and telling me I am hungry, I choose to remember that I ate a short while ago and this is just a misperception.  Even though my brain is lying to me right now and telling me that I should eat, I choose to remember my health goals. Even though my brain is telling me I am hungry, I know that this cannot be the truth and I choose not to eat based on a lie.

Eyebrow…I can’t sleep because I’m hungry

diagram of the tapping pointsSide of Eye…I want to get up out of bed and get a snack

Under the Eye…That will help me sleep

Under the Nose…No one can fall asleep when they are hungry

Chin…Certainly not me

Collarbone…But I know I’m not really hungry

Under the Arm…I ate a healthy meal just a few hours ago

Top of Head…My body got everything it needed

Eyebrow…What I’m feeling right now isn’t really hungry

Side of Eye…That is just what my brain is calling it

Under the Eye…I am probably tired, frustrated, angry, lonely, sad, or uncomfortable

Under the Nose…Food won’t fix any of those things

Chin…In fact, eating more food than my body needs will only make them worse

Collarbone…I choose to eat based on facts, not lies, misinterpretations, or misperceptions

Under the Arm…Even though I am convinced that I am hungry right now

Top of Head…I choose to love and accept myself just as I am.

Just Because Its There

Eating Food Just Because It Is ThereI confess.  Sometimes I eat food just because it is there.  I don’t think it really is  out of boredom because I’m almost never bored.  I have lots of things that I want to do and enjoy doing.  Perhaps it is just habit.

In the tapping example below I have added a tapping point that isn’t part of my regular tapping routine.  It is labeled wrists.  At the point turn the underside of your wrists toward each other and tap them together.

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping karate chop point): Even though I have a tendency to eat food just because it is there, I love and accept myself, even though I have unhealthy behaviors.  Even though I eat food without any real good reason, I am learning to love and accept myself anyway.  Even though I eat food, and I don’t even know why, I choose to love and accept myself anyway.

 

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…I seem to eat food for no good reason

Side of Eye…If it is there — I eat it

Under the Eye…I eat food even when I’m not hungry

Under the Nose…Heck, sometimes I eat food that I don’t particularly like

Chin…My tendency to eat food just because it is available

Collarbone…Is not good for my body

Under the Arm…And when I notice what I am doing

Wrists…I feel like a failure

Top of Head…This tendency to constantly eat is not a behavior that I want to continue

Eyebrow…I’ve tried to manage it by not having food around

Side of Eye…But that isn’t realistic

Under the Eye…I can limit the choices, but it won’t stop my overeating

Under the Nose…I don’t really believe that I eat food just because it is there

Chin…I believe there is another reason. One I am not yet aware of

Collarbone…When I catch myself eating I choose to stop and consider why

Under the Arm…There is a reason behind everything I do

Wrists…It is up to me to figure out why

Top of Head…Then I can change my behavior more easily.

I Plan to Follow the Diet Plan Perfectly

weight loss This tapping includes a tapping point that I don’t always include.  At the spot labeled “wrist”, tap your wrists together so that the underside of one wrist taps on the inside of the other wrist.

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping the karate chop point):  I always plan to follow the diet perfectly.  Sometimes it doesn’t work out.  I can usually maintain it for a few hours, days, or weeks, but then I always fail.  Maybe the problem is my need to be perfect.  Since I can’t be perfect, I end up back where I started, or never get started.  This pattern isn’t working for me anymore.  I choose to try a different way.

Eyebrow…I always plan to diet perfectly

diagram of the tapping pointsSide of Eye…I always fail

Under the Eye…I am so tired of that failure

Under the Nose…I am so discouraged

Chin…Instead of following a diet plan perfectly

Collarbone…Maybe I can try a new way

Under the Arm…Those diets are someone else’s plan

Top of Head…I know a lot about diet, health, and nutrition

Eyebrow…I could make my own plan

Side of Eye…And follow it closely

Under the Eye…I could allow for some variation and change

Nose…Then there would be no real failure

Chin…Better yet, I could listen to my body

Collarbone…I usually listen to my emotions

Wrist…But my body knows what it needs and what is bad for it

Under the Arm…It gives me clear signals

Top of Head…I’m not perfect, so I might not always understand what my body wants and needs

Eyebrow…But I’ll probably get it right most of the time

Side of  Eye…And that would be much better than what I’m doing to myself right now

Under the Eye…I could view this as an experiment or an adventure

Under the Nose…That might help me to stop thinking in terms of perfection

Chin…Even though I’ve always tried to follow the plan perfectly

Collarbone…I haven’t had a perfect plan

Under the Arm…My new plan won’t be perfect either and I won’t follow it perfectly.

Top of Head…I choose to love and accept myself anyway and feel proud of whatever successes I have.

Judge Less and Listen More

prayer flagsThe tapping exercise below also comes from my study of the Tao Te Ching.

 

 

 

 

 

illustration for karate chop pointSetup (while tapping karate chop point): I have a tendency to make snap judgments about people, places, events, circumstances – really, just about everything. Even when I take the time to think about things, I’m still making judgments. I often pride myself on being a good listener, but I even make judgments about what I expect other people to say.  I sometimes start thinking about how I want to respond to what people are saying before they even finish saying it.  That is a definite clue that I’m not really listening.  Even though I have this tendency to judge, I choose to move toward judging less.  Even though I often fail to really listen to other people, I choose to move toward listening more.  Even though I have a tendency to judge and a tendency not to really listen, I choose to judge less and listen more.

diagram of the tapping pointsEyebrow…I am a very judgmental person

Side of Eye…That doesn’t feel like a very flattering statement

Under the Eye…I can hardly admit that to myself

Under the Nose…I certainly don’t want to admit that to anyone else either

Chin…Even the statement that something is good is a judgment

Collarbone…My need to evaluate or judge things is a sign of my resistance to just experiencing life as it comes

Under the Arm…It sounds to zen to say that there is no good or no bad – there just is

Top of Head…I’m not at a place where I really believe that

Eyebrow…I am open to learning to judge less

Side of Eye…I am open to believing that I could experience more of life without adding judgments about whatever is happening

Under the Eye…I may not be as good a listener as I would like to think

Under the Nose…I get caught up in my own thoughts and fail to really listen to the thoughts of others

Chin…If I am not listening to them – I’m still in my own reality

Collarbone…That means I can’t really understand where they are coming from

Under the Arm…I choose to listen more

Top of Head…I am excited to see where these choices will lead me